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Castiel fidgets in his cap and gown. He had never expected this day to come so soon. He’d blinked and then found himself with his graduation tickets in hand. Each student only receives five tickets, but he’d weaseled another student into give him two extra. Sam had been delighted, telling him congratulations and that he wouldn’t miss it for the world. Dean, on the other hand, grumbled something about hating stuffy events like this, but took the ticket regardless.

The sun is shining brightly and there’s a nice breeze keeping the attendees cool. His school had decided that an outdoor graduation would be beautiful and Castiel can’t agree more. There aren’t that many students graduating simply because there aren’t many students period. His neighborhood doesn’t have many parents who send their children off to his catholic school. There are about 70 of them total, so the crowd is not overly large. Most students only had their parents in attendance.

The stage sits at the front of the field that his high school owns. Towards the back there are random groups of trees that eventually become a full blown forest. Daisies dot the lush grass. It’s beautiful and Castiel will never admit it, but he’s had many daydreams of kissing Dean in this field.

When his name is called and he walks up to receive his diploma, he instantly finds Anna in the crowd. Her red hair tends to be a beacon. Beside her is Gabriel, lollipop in mouth, smiling up at him. He can practically hear the unspoken “Good job, bro”.

Michael and Lucifer are sitting next to their mother. He doesn’t mind his oldest brothers when they aren’t telling him he’s a sinner. Truthfully, they’ve taken care of him, Anna, and Gabriel more than their mother has. Growing up without a father led Michael and Lucifer to find guidance in God and religion. They’ve just gone a little overboard with it, reading into the bible too much. They may just be looking out for him in the only way they know how, but it still makes it difficult to overlook.

His mother has a small smile on her face. She never really smiles much anymore. Castiel knows why.

In moments like these, he wishes his father hadn’t left. His mother was never able to bounce back from his departure. Michael and Castiel look like their father with their dark hair and blue eyes that are constant reminders of her former husband. Gabriel and Lucifer take after their mother with brown hair and chocolate eyes. Nobody has been able to figure out where Anna’s vivid red locks came from.

His name is called and the principal hands him his diploma as he shakes his hand. He smiles to the crowd as Anna snaps picture after picture and that’s when he sees Sam.
He’s standing in the back by some trees in a pair of khakis and a nice button down with the sleeves rolled up. He waves at Castiel as he descends the stairs of the stage platform and Castiel waves back.

Dean is standing beside his brother.

Castiel still can’t believe it. Dean is his boyfriend. His boyfriend. He’d never thought he’d be free to be who he was a couple months ago, but now he’s graduating, has a boyfriend, and will be going to college with his favorite siblings.

After the ceremony, Castiel sneaks off to see Dean and Sam. He finds Dean leaning against the tree facing away from the stage platform. As he approaches, he notices Dean’s clothing. Surprisingly, he has on a pair of jeans that don’t have a single hole in them and a shirt that’s not a Henley. He’s smiling at Castiel until he notices that Sam is looking at him, and then he instantly scowls in an attempt to cover up his expression of genuine affection. Sam starts snickering and Dean punches his younger brother’s arm.

Sam pats Castiel on the shoulder. “Congrats, Cas,” He says.

“Thanks for attending. It means a lot to me that you came.”

“We were late. Had to find some decent clothes for Dean. Can’t have him looking like the bum he is at your graduation ceremony, now can we?”

“Hey! I resent that!” Dean yells at Sam. “Good job, Cas.” Dean says before grabbing Castiel and pulling him into a kiss. It’s soft and sweet and nothing at all like how Dean normally kisses him. It lacks the fire and passion it usually has, but leaves him lightheaded all the same. He wishes he could just enjoy the feeling, but he remembers where they are: outside of his very Catholic high school with the nuns and his family close enough that at the correct angle anyone could see around the tree and witness it.

He pushes away from Dean and says, “Dean, I can’t. My brothers…”

Dean lets go of his hips and frowns for a second before he says, “Yeah. It’s fine. Me and Sammy (“It’s Sam!”) have to get going anyways.”

Castiel says his goodbyes and wanders back to his family, hoping that nobody saw him and Dean and bristling against the terrible unfairness that he even has to worry about that.

--

Anna is really antsy in her chair at his graduation dinner. They’re at one of his favorite restaurants, a little traditional Italian place in their town. All the attention is focused on him and it makes him nervous. He doesn’t like too much attention, but he’s the one that graduated. When the conversation finally starts to sway toward Michael’s career, Anna whispers in his ear to follow her. Castiel is confused at what it is that she could possibly need him for, but follows her as they excuse themselves to the bathroom.

When they are outside the woman’s bathroom, Anna grabs his hand and drags him in. He lets out a little squeak because that was the last thing he expected. Luckily for them, it’s a one stall bathroom and she locked the door behind her.

“Anna, what are we doing in here?” Castiel asks. His voice echoes off the wall, but he is sure nobody outside can hear them.

Anna bites her lips before she says, “I saw you.” Before he can ask he what she’s talking about, she continues. “With Dean. I saw you kissing him.”

Anna knows about Dean. Well, she knows that they’re friends and that they had a fight. She doesn’t know that he and Dean are together. It’s not that he never wanted to tell her, but after Gabriel slammed his fist in Dean’s face, he doesn’t want his siblings fighting his battles for him. He wasn’t even the one that told Gabriel, because when Dean answered his phone call before, Dean gave it away himself.

He leans against the wall of the bathroom. “He’s my boyfriend, Anna. I promise he isn’t a bad person. You just have to get to know him and-”

Anna grabs his arm and cuts him off. “Cas, I’m not upset about that. You have good judgment. I’m sure he makes you happy, but that isn’t the problem. I saw you.”

Castiel’s brow furrows at the words. “I don’t understand what the problem is.”

“Don’t you think if I saw you that maybe someone else did too? Michael and Lucifer were right next to me.”

Suddenly, he can’t breathe. His hands are shaking. “You don’t think they saw, right?”

“I’m not sure, but if I saw you, they could have too. I tried to lead them away, but I can’t be sure. I’m so sorry, Cas.” Then, she’s hugging him. Everything could still be perfectly fine and Michael and Lucifer could have seen nothing. But, there’s so much potential for everything to go terribly wrong. Cas was used to things in his life going wrong, with a few exceptions such as his grades and Dean, of course. He doesn’t have much faith that everything will be fine. So he lets himself be enveloped in Anna’s arms and prepares to weather the storm.

When they rejoin the table, all Castiel can do is search his eldest brothers’ faces for signs that they know, that they’re disgusted with him and are only holding it in for the sake of being polite in a public setting. Maybe even trying not to upset their mother, who looks like she’s enjoying the outing and seeing her children get along so well. If she only knew.

--

Michael and Lucifer are staying with them for the week. An entire week that Castiel has to be on his toes. An entire week that he can’t go see Dean. He doesn’t tell Dean what happened because Dean is hotheaded and could potentially damage this delicate situation.

It’s the second to last day of Michael and Lucifer’s stay and Castiel is sure that he’s home free. His oldest brothers are sitting in the kitchen having their morning coffee as Castiel enters to get his own breakfast.

“Castiel, may we have a word with you?” Lucifer says and Castiel’s heart drops into his stomach.

“Uh, yeah sure,” he says. His voice is wavering and the anxiety is overbearing.

“Please sit down,” Lucifer says and Castiel seat himself opposite of his brothers.

“First, I’d like to say we’ve talked to Mother about this and depending on how this conversation pans out, she has already made a decision.” Michael starts. “Do you remember when you were younger and we talked about what was expected of you as a proper Catholic man?”
“Yes.” Castiel replies, his voice soft and quiet. There’s no way this can go well. The shred of hope he had was quickly dissolving at his older brother's words.

“And do you remember when we talked about what was not expected and considered a sin?” Lucifer is doing his best to stare into his coffee as if the answers to the universe were inside and not get too involved in the conversation. He has always been the most hotheaded of his oldest brothers, sometimes even rivaling Gabriel.

“Yes.”

“So, what did you not understand?” Michael’s words are harsh.

Castiel is trying his best to remain calm and not let his emotions take control. Even if his brothers don’t understand why he is the way he is and how it’s not sinful, he wants to walk away from the conversation without falling apart. “I understood it.” He replies.

“You clearly did not as we saw you doing blasphemous acts with another male! We’ve discussed this before.” Lucifer starts.

“I think your definition of blasphemous is incorrect.”

“It is a sin.” Lucifer seethes. He stands up out of his chair and is much more intimidating than when he was across the table siting in a chair.

“I didn’t choose this.” He says truthfully. He didn’t decide to be attracted to men. He never chose to have his bedroom across from Dean’s. He didn’t ask to lose his virginity in the backseat of the Impala. He kind of regrets letting it happen so soon and not pursuing a relationship first. It’s slightly backwards, sure, but he can’t take it back. Things are good between him and Dean and he wouldn’t take it back for the world.

Lucifer is outright glaring at him now. “Yes you did. You chose to disobey us and you disobey God. You will end up in Hell if you continue on this path.”

“Are you telling me that God hates me? Because another one of your lessons was that God loves all his children.” Castiel says and automatically regrets it. This isn’t him talking. It sounds like Dean’s smart remarks. He sounds like Dean did that day in the back of the Impala. Dean’s all the way across the street and he's still in this conversation. Clearly, he spent so much time with Dean already that he’s doing some odd twisted version of finishing Dean’s sentences.

“You can be saved.” Michael says ending Lucifer’s attacking words. He puts a hand on Lucifer’s shoulder signaling him to sit down. Michael has always been the calmer one, the one who stops arguments. Castiel wishes that he was only talking to Michael because even though this conversation is not going to end well, he would at least allow Castiel to keep his dignity intact.

Except now Michael is telling him he can be saved. As if he’s fallen and needs help. Dean Winchester saved Castiel Milton. Dean saved him from going through the rest of his life pretending he is something he’s not.

“I don’t need saving. I was born like this. I can’t change who I am!” So much for keeping this calm.

“We are giving you a second chance. Don’t see that boy anymore, forget these infatuations with other men, and live a proper life. Go to college and meet a nice young lady. You will see the light.” Castiel actually laughs at that. Michael says it as if it so simple. To keep up a fake charade that he is straight and have children with a girl he’ll never be attracted to. He couldn’t do that to some poor girl. He can’t do that to himself.

“And if I choose not to?” Castiel questions.

“You will not be able to live here any longer. We will not have you polluting Anna and Mother with your sin. We will not be funding your college bills.” Lucifer replies.

Everything stops.

“You can’t! I’ve worked so hard my whole life! You can’t do this to me!” His voice is loud. He’s screaming and he’s making a fool of himself, but this is nonsense. This isn’t fair. His schooling has nothing to do with his sexual orientation.

“If you chose to live in sin, we will have to take these measures. We’ve done the same with Gabriel. We can’t make an exception for you.” That explains why Gabriel moved out and Anna didn’t. Gabriel moved out after his own graduation. He probably didn’t have a choice. Michael and Lucifer probably had this same conversation with him except smoking and drinking were the final straw rather than his sexuality.

Anna and Gabriel are in the kitchen within minutes. They probably heard his screaming.
“What’s going on?” Anna asks. Her hair is in disarray, probably because she had run downstairs after being woken by Castiel’s yelling.

“Castiel has chosen to live in sin, so he will be leaving.” Lucifer responds.

“That’s complete bullshit,” Gabriel says. “Half the things you say are bullshit. You’re really going to take away everything from him because he likes dick? Have you even ever read the bible? Half those things are outdated. You’re not even supposed to play football or go to work on fucking Sundays according to that. How can you overlook those things and fixate on something so minor?”

“It’s already been decided. Castiel will be leaving when Michael and I leave. That’s final.”
Gabriel is furious and Castiel is afraid he will hit Lucifer, but Lucifer and Michael make their exit before it can happen.

Anna and Gabriel remain in the room with him, but he still feels so terribly alone.

--

The tears start spilling once he is back in his room. Anna is wrapped around him, holding him tight and running her fingers through his hair as she offers reassurances.

“We’ll find a way Cas,” she begins. “We can both gets jobs and take out loans. Maybe if you explain the situation, they’ll push back the due date for the money. You can move in with Gabe.”

Anna has always been the one that panics. She starts rambling about all sorts of ways to make money or find a place for him to live. Then, she starts blaming herself.

“I shouldn’t have looked in that direction. Why couldn’t I have looked right instead of left? They would have never seen you if I hadn’t looked right at you. It’s all my fault. I’m so sorry Cas.”

Castiel wipes his tears from his face. “It’s not your fault, Anna. I promise you aren’t to blame.”

“Times like this I wish Father never left.” Anna says. “Michael and Lucifer have too much power in this household. Mother’s so broken and just agrees with everything they suggest. She probably doesn’t want you gone. She loves you.” She reassures him. He never doubted that his mother loved him and he knows that his oldest brothers probably convinced her somehow.
“I know, Anna,” He says. “I just need to see Dean.”

--

Castiel has worked himself up into a panic by the time he actually goes to see Dean. He hasn’t seen him in a week and now he’s coming over with terrible news. Gabriel is living close to the college campus and won’t be returning that often. Anna takes the bus to the college. If he ends up moving in with Gabriel, as planned, seeing Dean will become pretty rare. Sure, Dean can drive up to see him, but with Castiel starting to work and Dean’s schedule down at the garage, it won’t happen too often. If Castiel does end up finding some way to go to school, it will be even worse.

He pulls Dean in for a kiss the second his bedroom door closes. Dean, always up and ready to go, doesn’t protest. Castiel takes charge. It’s something he never does. Usually Dean is the one with the control. He dips his tongue into Dean’s mouth trying to memorize the taste. He want to remember everything about Dean from the way he kisses to the fond look he give Sam when he’s proud of his brother. When they finally break the kiss, Dean says, “Well, somebody missed me.”

Castiel doesn’t respond and just kisses Dean again. He slips his hand between them to cup Dean’s crotch and starts working at his belt and zipper.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Dean says as he grabs the hand trying it’s hardest to get into his boxers.

Castiel frowns. “Nothing.”

“You know I’m all for getting right down to it, but you aren’t. You like foreplay. So what’s wrong?”

Castiel pushes away from Dean and backs up. Dean’s looking at him expectantly and Castiel knows he has to tell him eventually.

“They disowned me.”

Dean reacts just like he thought he would. That’s why he’s positioned himself in front of Dean’s bedroom door. Dean goes right for the door like he thought he would and Castiel blocks his path. He has way too many people with extreme tempers in his life to not know how to stop them from doing something drastic.

“Cas, get out of my way. I’m gonna go give your dickhead brothers a piece of my mind!”
“Getting in a confrontation with them isn’t going to help anyone.”

“Yeah, well maybe beating the shit out of them will. I can beat them with a bible if you’d like. It’s kinda poetic if you think about it,” Dean rants.

“There’s nothing that can be done anymore. I just have to deal with it.”

Once Castiel is sure Dean won’t try to make a break for it and try to harm his brothers, he seats himself on Dean’s bed. Dean joins him.

“You’re strangely calm for someone who just got disowned,” Dean remarks.

“I was really upset at first. I worked hard to get the best grades and make myself a prime candidate for college. I even got a scholarship, but it’s not enough to pay full tuition and pay for my books.” Castiel sighs. “But now I’m sort of relieved. It’s a burden that’s been lifted off my chest. I don’t have to worry about my brothers finding out that I’m gay. I don’t have to worry about anybody finding out because I don’t have to hide it anymore.”
“I’m glad and all that you’re taking this so well, but where are you going to live and how are you going to get the money?” Dean asks. Castiel can hear his anger towards Michael and Lucifer in his words, but he guesses Dean has a right to be angry.

He doesn’t want to be away from Dean. Sure, they’ll have to spend more time apart regardless of where he was living. Even if he hadn’t been kicked out, Dean has to work and Castiel has to go to school and study. It still isn’t something he wants to remind Dean of.

“I’m supposed to move in with Gabe.”

“That’s all the way near the college.”

“I know.”

“Well, fuck that.” Dean says. “I’ve got an idea.”

--

“My Dad helped stop her bar from going under, so she owes him a favor. Plus, she’s just gonna love you.”

Harvelle’s Roadhouse is a small bar in town known for its locally brewed beer and cozy atmosphere. Castiel has seen it plenty of times, but never has a reason to enter because of his age.

There’s a blonde haired girl with a smirk on her face behind the bar. She looks to be the same age as Dean and Castiel. “Well if it isn’t Dean Winchester. Come by to sneak a beer or are you here to pay me back for last time?” She says leaning over the bar counter.

“Uh, neither?”

“You also owe me for that game of pool. You would think that after all the times you’ve lost hat you wouldn’t keep playing and getting your ass handed to you.”

“I’ll pay you back as soon as I start work at the garage, I promise,” He shoots off. If Castiel didn’t know any better, he would think that Dean might be afraid of her. “But I’m actually looking for your mother.”

She looks at Castiel. “Some manners you have there, Winchester. Not even gonna introduce your guest?” She directs the next part to him. “I’m Jo. And you are?”

“Castiel Milton,” he replies. She smiles at him.

“Mom!” she yells behind her.

From the back room, a woman emerges. When she gets her eye on Dean, she smirks. Like mother, like daughter, he guesses.

“Hey there, Ellen. You’re looking ever so lovely this fine evening.”

“Winchester.” She says as she gives him the side eye. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Cas,” Dean replies as Ellen give him the once over. She smiles at him and then returns to side eyeing Dean.

“You’re only ever here when you want something. So get to it,” She huffs.

“You know how you told Dad you were gonna let me live upstairs when I start work?”

“Yeah,”

“I was wondering if you could extend that to include me and Cas both.”

“Why the sudden change of plans?”

“He got kicked out.” Dean says. “For being with me. For liking men.”

Ellen goes from being the most intimidating force in the room that even makes Dean tremble in his boots to being a caring mother. “Aw, hun. I’m so sorry.” She directs at Castiel. “I know that had to be hard. Here, take a seat. Do you want a beer or something?”

Both Dean and Castiel sit, but Castiel declines the beer. “I’m 18,” She tells him she doesn’t mind the age thing as long as it stays between them. He still declines.

“I’ll take his,” Dean says quickly.

“You’re underage,” She replies, but ends up sliding a bottle over to him anyways. “It shouldn’t be a problem. Cas here seems like a good young man.”

“Thank you, “Castiel says and Ellen wanders back into the back room.

Dean looks as Castiel after he finishes his beer. “So, that’s one thing down. Now the money is another story. I think Sam might have an idea about that.”

--

“Write about you. Write about how you suffered, but how you overcame and are still overcoming. Write about how it made you stronger. You’re a good writer, Cas. You can do this,” Sam tells him.

That’s how Castiel ends up writing an article and submitting it to a LBGT magazine about having a strict Catholic upbringing and being gay. How members of his own family told him he was sick and wrong. How he met a boy who changed everything. How he was kicked out and left on his own when he graduated high school for being who he was. How he refused to let his brothers rule his life and set out on his own to work and to be able to go to school. How he’s been working all summer as many hours as he can. How he isn’t begging for the money, but needs to tell his story, so that any LBGT youth knows that he’s been there and they will be okay.

The article gets printed. He receives some money from a donation fund the magazine set up for him, but it’s not much.

Castiel struggles to get all the money he can earn before the semester starts. Anna and Gabriel chip in to his funds. Ellen allows him to pick up a shift at the bar and shift their rent payments to start after both he and Dean are on their feet. Dean even chips in with what little money he can afford to give him. But, it still isn’t enough. He’s still short a couple thousand.

He receives an email right before the payment is due for tuition stating that it has been paid in full. Confused, he checks and indeed, he does not owe any more money for that year. Both semesters are paid for.

A couple days later, he receives an email from his mother.

Dear Castiel,

I know that you probably don’t want to hear from me after what happened. Anna has shown me your article you wrote. I cannot say I am so very sorry enough. I have paid your tuition and will continue to pay as I did for your siblings. I have not told your brothers. I would like you to know you are welcome in this house at any time, but from what Anna has told me, you are happy where you are. I cannot change your brothers, but I can change myself. I accept you and I love you. Never doubt that.

Love,
Mom

This is the first time in years that Castiel has ever seen his mother actively get involved in his life. He is thankful nonetheless.

The room they’re renting from Ellen is similar to a studio apartment. There’s a full size bed, a very small kitchenette, a desk, and a TV that’s been there since Ash, one of the bartenders, had rented it out. It’s a time consuming task to clean up the apartment after they find Ash’s old mess, but they eventually get it done. It takes a while to get the art of sharing a bed together down because Dean sprawls and kicks when he sleeps while Castiel is a light sleeper. He finds that if he wraps himself around Dean just right, Dean will snuggle in and stays still the entire night. Castiel can’t complain.

He’s got Dean, family, and friends who do accept him the way he is. If Michael and Lucifer can’t, he doesn’t need them. He’s happy where he is.