Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Utterson was in an uncharacteristically bad mood. His brows were drawn and he had a face like thunder.

Jekyll didn't see how he could be so bothered - it was a beautiful day. There were barely any clouds in the sky and for the first time in months, London wasn't smothered by a blanket of rain. It felt as though the great city was able to breathe again, filling its huge metal lungs with sunshine.

Utterson’s bad mood seemed especially out of character due to the fact that, much as the doctor adored his friend, he wasn't one for showing emotion. Jekyll had known Utterson for more years than he hadn't at this point and liked to think he was the lawyer's closest confidant, but even he struggled to read the man at times.

It was also out of character for him to drop by so early in the day. Usually, if he came by unannounced, it was in the evening after work. Utterson was hard working and dedicated to his career. Jekyll could count the days on one hand that he had not attended his office. With all these things mounting, as was Jekyll's curiosity, he just about managed to keep his mouth shut until his butler had left the two of them to themselves in the drawing room.

"So!" The doctor clapped his hands together, making Utterson noticeably start.

"What can I do for you, my friend? It's unusual of you to visit me so early in the day."

Jekyll narrowed his eyes, a sudden thought occurring to him.

"Are you ill?"

Utterson sighed, rubbing his forehead, as if to rid himself of a brewing headache.

"No, Jekyll, I am quite well. Thank you for receiving me. I do apologise for the sudden intrusion. If you are otherwise engaged I will take my leave."

Jekyll shook his head emphatically.

"Nonsense, you are welcome in my house anytime, Utterson. Please, tell me of what is on your mind."

Utterson fixed his gaze upon the nearby fireplace.

"I...received a disquieting letter this morning."

"Oh?"

Brown eyes slowly met blue, the lawyer reluctantly meeting Jekyll's gaze.

"It was from my father."

Jekyll's eyebrows rose in surprise. The lawyer's family had always been a contentious subject. Despite their long years of friendship, Jekyll knew barely anything of Utterson's kin, or of his life before the two of them had met at London University. Jekyll had freely given Utterson many details of his life; the Jekyll lineage was an old one and most knowledge of it was in the public domain already. His friend had listened, but offered little of his own history in return.

However, Jekyll had met Utterson's father, only once before. He had come to London some years ago, perhaps not long after the two young men had graduated. Jekyll had met Utterson Sr briefly, and developed an instant distaste for the man. He had been uncouth and rude, insulting Jekyll's dress and mannerisms. He had been sharp-tongued and cruel to his son, even in front of his friend. It had been a mercifully short meeting, but certainly memorable, and not in a good way.

This certainly explained Utterson's thunderous expression that morning. Years earlier, he had been in a dark mood for weeks after his father visited, practically unapproachable until the memory of the older man’s presence had faded.

"I see…” Jekyll replied, choosing his words carefully. “What did he say?"

Utterson's face crinkled in a disdained grimace.

"He has requested that I sort out his affairs. His will, and such."

The doctor hummed in response.

"Well, that doesn't sound too ghastly."

"He said that he has taken ill in the past year, that he believes he is dying. He has asked me to return home."

Jekyll blinked, twisting his hands behind his back. Ah. 

"I see. Well, will you go?"

Utterson was staring at the fireplace again, his face falling back into its usual expressionless self. And yet, there was a myriad of emotions at play in his dark eyes, moving too fast for Jekyll to interpret them.

"I don't see what choice I have. He is my father, I must do as he bids me to."

Utterson’s voice was laced with a tired air of defeat, as though he had already spent many hours alone deliberating over what actions to take and had sadly arrived at this outcome long ago. Jekyll crossed his arms, thinking of his own father. The man had died a few years past. The doctor hadn't felt much grief over it. He had always been distant from his parents, often more so in the company of nannies and servants as a child than with his own kin. He wondered what he would have done in Utterson’s place, if he would have read the letter at all.

"Why does he need you to travel to sort out his affairs? Can you not do so from London?"

"He...is struggling to hold a pen. He feels that he will not last long enough for such details to be exchanged through letters alone."

Jekyll studied his old friend with a keen eye, trying to read him. Utterson looked less like someone planning to visit a relative, and more a man about to go to war. He couldn’t help but be skeptical about the old man’s words - the contents of one’s will could easily be fitted into one letter after all.

"I understand. When do you plan to leave?"

Utterson straightened his posture and looked back at the doctor.

"Well, as soon as I can. This is my farewell, for the time being."

"Oh...I see."

Silence fell upon the pair, Jekyll processing his friend’s words. He found it disquieting to see Utterson so out of sorts and wished that there was something he could do, some aid he could provide. If I were in this situation, he thought, would I prefer to go it alone, or take with me an ally? He glanced at his friend’s darkened brow and decided to voice his idea.

"Why go alone? Perhaps I could come with you. I don't doubt that his local doctors may be doing their best, but his illness may benefit from some of my expansive knowledge of medicine."

The prospect of extending his father's lifespan didn't seem to particularly thrill Utterson, but he did seem to be considering Jekyll's offer, suggested in such a way that the lawyer’s pride remained intact. Jekyll wondered if Utterson was thinking of the last time that the doctor had encountered his father. He admitted that he could have been more polite to the man, but to be fair he didn't exactly receive a warm welcome from him in return. 

"I am aware that my conduct the last time I met your father wasn't very befitting of me,” Jekyll added, playfully. “But that was some years ago now. I have matured! I will behave myself this time."

Utterson raised an eyebrow in scepticism.

Jekyll smiled a little, then lowered his voice.

"Utterson, I know your relationship with your father isn't always comfortable. I would like to offer myself to you as a potential ally, should any issues with him arise."

All hint of warmth vanished from Utterson's face; his jaw clenched and his tone grew cold.

"I don't know what you are referring to, Jekyll. I will be more than capable of handling any problems by myself."

Jekyll shifted, feeling slightly guilty. He knew he had overstepped.

"Forgive me. That was...presumptuous of me. I am more than aware of your capabilities."

His friend seemed to relax a bit, reaching up to rub his forehead one again. Jekyll watched him, awaiting the lawyer’s response. He seemed to deliberate for a few minutes, before dropping his hand and letting out a soft sigh.

"Hm, well, I suppose you could accompany me, if it would not be of inconvenience to you. You may be able to diagnose his illness, or even treat it."

That would spare Utterson of all of this ghastly business! Jekyll was all for it.

"Marvellous! And it would be no inconvenience at all. Where are we travelling to?"

It had suddenly struck the doctor that he had no idea where Utterson's father lived, or where the man had even been born.

"Hampshire," Utterson replied, monotone and lifeless.

"Wonderful. It's been years since I visited the country!"

Utterson made a noncommittal noise, still appearing to be in two minds about his friend coming along. Jekyll placed his hands on Utterson’s shoulders, giving him a warm smile, hoping to reassure him of his decision.

"We could make a lovely time of this. I know the circumstances are less than optimal, but once the will has been sorted out, we could make a holiday of it. It’s summer time after all. It would be nice to fill my lungs with something other than soot!"

The lawyer didn't look his friend in the eye, his gaze sliding sideways to stare at the fireplace beside them with unfocused eyes. He merely grunted in response.

Jekyll decided to leave and get his luggage together before Utterson could change his mind. He left the brunette alone in the room, staring dazedly into the distance at something only he could see.

-

The train was delayed by a few minutes, as they often were. Jekyll rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, watching the other people on the platform. They were due to travel from Waterloo to Micheldever, then hail a carriage to take them the remainder of the way. Jekyll was a bit unclear on the particulars of their destination and Utterson was too cagey to glean many answers from.

The lawyer was certainly out of sorts. He had been restless the whole way to Waterloo. Jekyll filled the silence with his usual chatter, but wherever Utterson’s thoughts were taking him, Jekyll could not follow. It worried the doctor. His friend could be greatly reserved, even to the point of coldness, Jekyll was used to that. However, now there was something in his eyes that Jekyll could not read, a furtiveness to his movements and an edge to his voice. That was not usual.

Though he only stood a foot away beside him on the platform, Jekyll felt his friend was unfathomably far from his grasp. People moved in dense crowds around them; elegant ladies in great gowns and splendid hats, men with swinging canes and servants carrying luggage. Trains waited at platforms, belching out smoke. It had been a while since Jekyll had left his home, comfortably wiling away the days tinkering in his laboratory when he wasn’t receiving patients, and the cacophony and heat of human noise and the bustling activity of the station was rather overwhelming to him. 

Jekyll was more than satisfied with his own company; if he wanted to see others he would host a dinner party for his closest circle, or perhaps venture out into the street. The many noises and great crowds in the enclosed space of the station was so intense. To deal with them, he tried to focus on smaller things: the feel of his suitcase handle against his palm, the slow moving hands on the huge clock mounted on the station’s great wall.

Then, there was a deafening screech and the steam train bound for Micheldever began to pull into the station. It was a shining, glorious metal beast, dragging itself across the racks towards them. Smoke billowed from its chimney and it let out a shrill, ear-splitting whistle, announcing its grand arrival. The sound seemed to jolt Utterson from his reverie and Jekyll shot a smile at him.

“And so begins our grand country adventure!”

Utterson turned his head a little to acknowledge what Jekyll had said, but remained silent. Jekyll fiddled with the handle of his luggage case, realising that what he’d said probably wasn’t entirely appropriate.

The previous passengers disembarked and the conductor began to wave on the next wave of travellers. Jekyll and Utterson made their way through the 1st class carriage, locating their booth and storing away their luggage. Now, with the door shut behind them, it was just them. Once they were sat down, Utterson seemed to relax. 

He sat back in his seat and glanced up at Jekyll opposite him.

“I am grateful that you decided to come with me, Jekyll. I must admit, I was not entirely looking forward to embarking on this ordeal alone.”

Jekyll leant forward onto the table in front of him, resting his chin in his hand.

“Of course, that’s more than understandable. To lose one’s parent is a grim undertaking, never mind arranging their affairs beforehand.”

Utterson exhaled through his nose, turning to look back out of the window. That was all he said for some time after that.

The train sat in waiting for half an hour, then let out another shrill whistle and began to shunt backwards out of the station. Its axles began to spin as its wheels ground against the tracks; coal was chucked into its roaring, fiery heart, smoke belching from its chimney, as it heaved its heavy body into motion.

Jekyll made himself comfortable against the seat, watching out of the window as the city blurred into grey and brown. The sky was still blue though and Jekyll followed a few pigeons across it, as they glided and skimmed over the chimney stacks.

-

Jekyll didn’t remember falling asleep, but when he awoke the sun had nearly set. The scenery outside had melted into rolling hills and farmland. Dusk painted the greenery with shades of soft grey and stars were beginning to appear. Jekyll squinted, trying to make them out amongst gathering clouds. It had been months since he had seen stars. Pea smog so often filled the sky in London, blotting out the moon and laying low and thick upon the rooftops.

Jekyll stretched his back, grimacing at the cracks it made. He glanced across the table to check on his travelling companion. Utterson was also asleep, head resting against the cool glass of the carriage window, his breath softly fogging the pane. He looked at peace. The years had been kind to the lawyer, Jekyll reflected. Himself, not so much. He’d just turned 48, but his hair had long transitioned from brown to white. It had started going white in his 20’s. Only a few brown strands of stragglers held on now. People told him it gave him an air of trustworthiness, a proud countenance. Jekyll thought it just made him look old. He didn’t want to look old, not when his spirit was still so strong and sprightly.

Utterson’s face had become more lined over the years, probably due to the nature of his job. He spent his days frowning over papers and addressing stern judges. Dark shadows had appeared beneath his eyes - when had he started looking so tired? Jekyll felt a pang of guilt for not noticing earlier.

He realised how long he had been gazing at his friend for and swallowed, glancing away.

Jekyll rubbed his chin, frowning at the perpetual stubble stinging his hand, then checked his pocket watch, remarking that they were due into Micheldever shortly. He reached across the table and gently shook Utterson’s arm to wake him. The lawyer prised his brown eyes open, covering his mouth in a yawn. Jekyll withdrew, giving him a tired smile.

“We’re due into the station in about 20 minutes.”

Utterson rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, nodding.

Micheldever Station was quiet in the growing darkness, with only a few other people disembarking along with Utterson and Jekyll. The doctor was struck by the intense quiet on the platform after the noise of London; one sole attendant sat upon a nearby bench with his pipe and flat-cap, the night sky stretching out endlessly above them, stars glimmering and unmarred by smoke or smog. Somewhere in the distance an owl hooted softly. Even the air smelt different, sharp and sweet, laced with honeysuckle and elderflower.

Jekyll noticed the tension had returned to Utterson’s shoulders and decided to make it his job to get the attention of a waiting cab driver. The cab horse was a beautiful brown cob, with heavy hooves and huge, round muscles. He nickered and flicked his fringe from his brown eyes as Jekyll rubbed his knuckles against his soft muzzle, arranging the fare.

Utterson gave an address for a village that Jekyll hadn’t heard of and the doctor began to feel a sudden mounting excitement. He was about to discover the first part of his friend’s mysterious puzzle - perhaps the most important one. His birthplace.