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Eddie felt cold, but he made himself keep going. There were so many people that needed help, so many wounded and so few to care for them. He had to just focus on the job. Not on the weight of his son’s glasses around his neck. Not on the dread settling into his stomach. He was at the command center on Sawtelle, trying to help the nurses triage people. And that was when he heard it. He knew that voice. He knew those shoulders, that frame. He was moving before he realized it. “Buck!” Oh, thank god. Thank god one of them was alive. Not that he was giving up on his son! Chris was a Diaz, after all, he was tough. Surging forward, Eddie wrapped Buck in his arms. “Oh god, Buck, you’re alive.”
“Eddie…Eddie…Chris and I…w-we came to the beach.” Buck was frantic, bleeding a little, and Eddie was sure he was dangerously dehydrated. He felt the taller man choke on a sob. “You found his glasses. Eddie , I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so-“
“Shh, Buck. It’s not your fault. I know it’s not your fault. He might.” Eddie swallowed thickly as he squeezed Buck again in a tight hug. “He might be alive. Someone else might’ve found him. You need fluids. You-you need treatment.” He tried to back Buck up toward a cot, he could see Hen running IVs, and that was exactly what Buck needed. Until he heard it. A shout of ‘Dad’ that sounded so much like his own son. And Buck was staring over his shoulder at something.
“Dad!” It came again. Eddie turned around, seeing a woman carrying a little boy in the same hoodie he’d put his son in that morning. Eddie gave Buck’s arm a squeeze before letting go of him and rushing over to the woman to take the boy from her. And, oh , it was his son! His Christopher, the one bright spot in his world. With tears in his eyes, he looked up at the woman and thanked her.
“So you’re Buck?” She was smiling as Eddie fumbled to get the glasses over his head and back onto his son.
“No, I’m his father, Eddie.” The crutches were long gone, but he expected that. Crutches could be replaced, but Christopher was one of a kind.
Eddie watched tension leave the woman’s shoulders. “He was looking for Buck.” But now that Chris was safe in his arms, she smiled again before heading for the command center.
“Daddy, Buck got lost. I couldn’t find him. I tried to find him again. There was a fire truck, and I fell off, but I tried to get back to him.” Chris clung to him tightly, much to Eddie’s relief. “He’s lost out there and he’s probably looking for me.”
It broke Eddie’s heart to hear that, but at least this was something he could fix. He scooped Chris up and walked back to Buck, who was now being tended to by Hen and Chimney. It made Eddie realize how pale the man was. And how much dried blood was on his clothing. “Buck just needs some fluids and then I’m taking you both home. You probably need some, too, Mijo. But he’s safe, and so are you. So let’s let Chim and Hen look you over, and as soon as I can, I’ll take you both home.”
“Home with us, right?” Chris sounded small, his skinny little arms wrapped as tightly as he could manage around Eddie’s neck.
“Yeah. Home with us.” There was no way Eddie was letting Buck out of his sight for long. Not after the day they’d all had. “We’re all gonna curl up in my bed together, too.”
It took another hour to get home, but Chris and Buck had both gotten a full bag of saline, as well as some crackers with peanut butter. The first priority was Chris, the little boy was barely awake as it was. Eddie locked the door once the three of them were inside, taking buck by the hand and leading him to the master bedroom. “Go in and sit on either the toilet or the edge of the tub for me, okay, Buck? I gotta get a few things for Chris, then I’ll get him cleaned up first. Then your turn. Mijo, can I wash the salt from your hair in the sink? Or are we gonna worry about that tomorrow?”
“’Morrow, Daddy.” Chris mumbled into his shoulder, making Eddie smile. He headed into his son’s room to get some clean pajamas and Chris’ favorite teddy bear.
“A sponge bath it is. And in the morning I’ll make cheesy eggs and bacon.” It was the only thing Eddie was really very confident in his cooking of, but that was fine. Washing Chris went quickly, though getting him dressed was a little more challenging. The boy was fast asleep, which meant he wasn’t helping in any way. But Eddie got it done. He scooped Chris up again and gave Buck a soft smile. “I’m gonna tuck him in, then it’s your turn for a sponge bath. Strip down and toss everything in the corner, alright?”
Buck said nothing, just nodded and mechanically started peeling out of his salt encrusted, dirty clothes. By the time Eddie made it back to the bathroom, Buck was slowly peeling out of his boxers. It meant he had about a half second to put a hand towel on the toilet seat for Buck to sit on before he grabbed a fresh washcloth and got it wet and lathered up. “Do you want me to wash your hair? The chair I use for Chris is rated for adults, it was on sale and it means not needing to buy larger ones as he grows. I just have a bolster for him to sit on when I do his hair.”
As he worked on washing Buck’s neck and shoulders, Eddie made sure his touches were gentle. It also meant that he was leaning so that Buck could practically whisper in his ear, which ended up being a good thing. “I’m sorry.” The words were barely there, more of a breath than speech, making Eddie’s own breath hitch in his chest. “I lost him. I put him in danger and then I lost him. I failed him. And you.”
“No, you didn’t.” Eddie was insistent as he carefully washed Buck’s face. There were scratches on his forehead and cheeks, and what would end up as one hell of a sunburn. Eddie made a mental note to get the aloe out from under the sink for him before they slept. “Buck, you had no way of knowing a tsunami was coming. No one was able to predict this. And you’re both alive. You’re both alive and here and safe.”
Tears started to well up in Buck’s eyes. “You could’ve lost him today and it would’ve been my fault. My fault for taking him there instead of somewhere inland. God , Eddie, you…you already lost your wife, and I almost cost you your son. I don’t deserve-“
“ Evan .” Eddie cut Buck off, swallowing thickly as he cupped the man’s face in his hands with the gentlest of touches. “Look at me. Losing you would’ve destroyed me just as much as losing him. Tomorrow you can ask Bobby what a wreck I was when I realized you were both out there somewhere. When I found his glasses, Chris isn’t the only one I was terrified for, cariño. It almost killed me know you were both out there in the wreckage, not knowing what state you were in. Seeing you at the VA there? Evan, it made me feel like I could breathe. Yeah, Chris wasn’t at your side, but I knew you were safe. And that we could find him together . When I got him in my arms, he was so worried about you, said he’d lost you and we needed to find you. He’d been looking for you the rest of the day.”
Buck sucked in a shaky breath, leaning into Eddie’s touch. “Th-there was a f-fire truck. We were on the roof; I was grabbing people as they floated past. At one point…while I was pulling someone up, t-the truck shook. A-and he was gone. Just… gone .” He let out a sob as his forehead landed on Eddie’s shoulder. “I tried. When Chris saw the tide…mentioned it to me, and I saw it? I grabbed him a-and ran. Took shelter in a booth, but the water. It was so strong.”
Wrapping his arms around Buck, Eddie held him close. “Buck, I need you to know it’s not your fault. Not at all. It’s a natural disaster, you handled it as amazingly as you possibly could have. You saved god only knows how many people, you fought all day trying to get back to Chris and find him. Buck, you went literally above and beyond.” Eddie gave him another gentle squeeze, just in case he had any bruised ribs, before working on washing his back.
The absolution must have helped as Buck relaxed against him more. “Y-you don’t hate me?”
Once he’d finished washing the man’s back, Eddie pulled back and cradled Buck’s face in his hands. “Absolutely not. You did everything I would’ve done in your shoes. I wouldn’t have been able to resist helping others, and he wouldn’t have let me if I tried.” He pressed a kiss to Buck’s birthmark with a smile. Gently, Eddie finished washing Buck, though he didn’t wash the man’s private areas. “Alright, last chance for your hair to be washed for you. I don’t dare try to get you under a shower after the day you’ve had.”
“Um, yeah. I-I would love that, actually.” There was a tremulous smile on Buck’s face, and Eddie was a weak man. He leaned in, pressing another kiss to the blond’s birthmark.
“I’ve got clothes here for you to change into, go ahead and at least put the pants on while I go grab the chair from Chris’ bathroom.” Eddie smiled warmly, pointing to the pile of clothing on the counter that he’d brought in. It was just a pair of sweat, some clean boxers, and a shirt Buck had left behind before. It only took a minute or two for him to get the chair and then Eddie was back. Now that the man was cleaned off, it made the lost muscle mass more obvious. Clearly, Buck hadn’t been able to maintain his usual workouts while he’d been recovering, which was fine. Eddie did his best to squash down the spike of desire, this wasn’t the time for him to be lusting over his best friend. And it was especially not the time to preen over having more muscles and being stronger than Buck. He set up the chair, then stepped past Buck to grab his own shampoo and conditioner. The linen closet had a little attachment that he connected to the bathroom sink, making it like a salon sink. “Alright, take a seat and then I’ll tilt the backrest back. Do you want hot water or just warm water?”
“Hot, please. Makes it more different from the seawater.” With a sigh, Buck settled into the chair, trusting Eddie as he was leaned back over the sink. He let Eddie know when the water was at his preferred temperature and closed his eyes, just relaxing into the feel of his hair being washed. “I saw you before you saw me. Was so scared, too. Scared t’ tell you I lost Chris. That he was out there, probably dead somewhere. Scared you’d hate me. Y’know, the worst part about that bombing? Being alone. All the damn time.”
That made Eddie frown as he gently lathered shampoo into Buck’s hair. He wanted to be thorough, make sure there was no filth or salt clinging to the dark blond curls. “Weren’t you dating that girl from the office building we went in during the quake? Ali something?”
“She left me a week after I got out of the hospital. Couldn’t handle having to help me wash when I couldn’t stand on my own. Got real good at sponge bathing myself, Maddie came and washed my hair once a week. I took an hour long shower once the cast came off and I could stand. Paid for it, my leg was in agony the rest of the day, but it was worth it. I pushed so hard to come back because I wanted my family again. Bobby’s got ‘Thena and her kids, Hen has Karen and Denny, Maddie and Chimney have each other, and you have Chris. I can’t have pets, no girlfriend, don’t even have any plants.” Buck just sighed, the words flowing from him as Eddie rinsed away the shampoo.
“We should’ve been around more.” Eddie choked the words out, blinking back tears. “Ay, dios, I’ve been an idiot to you, Buck. Should’ve had you stay here. You could’ve slept in an actual bed instead of on a couch, Chris and I would’ve been around for you, shouldn’t’ve left you in a place you couldn’t use half of.” He got the conditioner, putting a tiny dollop in his palm before working it in. “Buck, I’ve been falling in love with you since you went out of your way to take me to pick Chris up after the quake. When Shannon came back around, the only reason I let myself fall back in with her was because I was sure you were straight and at least I’d get to be your friend. The first thought I had when I found Chris’ glasses was wondering if I’d even have a body to bury, but my second one? Was the absolute gut-wrenching certainty I was never going to tell you this. And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, if you’re not into guys. That’s fine. Because you’re still my best friend no matter what, do you understand that?”
Buck’s eyes opened, boring into his own as Eddie started rinsing the conditioner away. “Eds…” He watched that pink tongue slip out and wet sun burnt lips. “Eddie, it’s been a nightmare of a day, and I’m on blood thinners. That are back at my apartment, thankfully, so I won’t have to replace those. Fuck, I need a new phone and a new car now.” Eddie couldn’t help smiling a little at the distracted tangent before Buck got back on track. “The point is, I need you to be very clear with me with what you’re saying.”
Shutting off the sink, Eddie grabbed the towel he’d grabbed earlier for Buck and helped the man sit up again. He draped the towel over Buck’s head, gently working on drying his hair. “What I’m saying, Evan, is that I’m hopelessly in love with you. I have every intention of spooning you tonight while we sleep. You get to be the little spoon, and I’m sure Chris is gonna tuck himself into your chest as soon as we’re in the bed. Though you may have a teddy bear in your face by morning. I am saying that I want to have you here, in our lives and in my arms as much and as often as you want. I’m saying that I’d go pack that loft and move you in tomorrow if you wanted that. But,” lowering the towel, Eddie cradled Buck’s cheeks in his hands, “if you don’t want that, if you don’t like me like that, then I will abide any boundary you want to set. Aside from holding you tonight, because I think we both really need that.”
Warm hands settled on Eddie’s hips as Buck looked up at him with what he hoped was wonder in those deep blue eyes. He watched as Buck opened and closed his mouth a few times before clearing his throat and finally finding his voice. “Eddie, I…I ‘ve definitely been accused of having a crush on you. But you were still married, so I kept it to myself. And then you, she died and I couldn’t just swoop in like that. So I didn’t let myself fall for you.”
“But you could? If you were allowed?” A small smile played over Eddie’s lips as he went back to drying Buck’s hair.
“Yeah.” The word was more breath than sound, but that was fine. Eddie was more than close enough to hear it. “You should probably kiss me about it, though. So I can be sure.”
“Well, if it’ll help you be sure.” And really, how could he resist such a request? Bending down, Eddie kissed Buck. It was soft, sweet, and chaste, perfect for the moment. When he pulled back, he could feel his cheeks almost aching from the width of his smile. “Did that help matters any?”
Buck hummed softly, his eyes opening back up slowly. “Mm, yeah. Now that I know it’s allowed? I’m gonna be head over heels for you before you know it.”
The moment was ruined by the jaw cracking yawn Buck let out, which made Eddie chuckle a little. He pressed another kiss to the wine red mark above the blond’s eyebrow before stepping back a little. “Go crawl in bed, I’ll be there as soon as I have everything put away.” It would give him time to hurry through a shower of his own, since the salt that had soaked through his pants was making his legs itch. “Just remember to leave space for me, alright?”
Eddie watched Buck stand slowly and grab the night shirt that was waiting for him, tugging it on with a few soft hisses as he obviously moved muscles that had long since gone sore. It was almost a shame to see all that skin get covered up, but it was fine. The fact that Buck leaned into his space to kiss him on the cheek had him beaming brightly. “You promised to be the big spoon, don’t forget.”
“Don’t you worry, cariño, I won’t forget. I am gonna take a quick shower, though. The salt residue on my legs is starting to itch.” Eddie gave Buck a gentle shove toward the bedroom before starting to strip. He hurried through the shower, then dumped everyone’s clothes into the hamper. The bedroom light was still on, though Chris and Buck were dead to the world, which made Eddie smile as he dressed. He went to make sure the house was locked up before turning the lights off and slipping into bed. It was like a dream come true to wrap himself around Buck as he drifted off to sleep.
When the morning came, Eddie woke about half an hour before his alarm. Buck and Chris were still fast asleep, so he slipped out of bed as quietly as he could before turning off the alarm. The sight of his son and the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with snuggling in his bed made his heart swell in his chest. Bending over, he pressed a kiss to each of their curls before slipping out of the room. Bobby had told him to take the day off, so he was planning to enjoy it. He headed for the kitchen to get started on breakfast.
While he cooked, he heard the sounds of Buck and Chris stirring. Sounds of the toilets flushing, the sinks running, and even Chris heading for his own room before going back to the master bedroom. Neither of them came out to the kitchen, which was fine. Eddie hummed to himself as he put together the largest lap tray he could find. Three plates with eggs, crispy bacon, and buttered toast along with spoons, two cups of coffee fixed just the way he and Buck liked, and a glass of the fruit punch Chris had insisted on the last time they’d gone to the store. There was even a salt and pepper shaker on the tray just in case. He picked up the tray and headed to his bedroom with a bounce in his step.
When he pushed open the door to the bedroom, the sight waiting on the bed made Eddie melt a little. Chris had put his glasses on and was holding a book as he read to Buck. And there were two additional stuffed animals on the bed as well. The stuffed dalmatian in the firefighter outfit and the t-rex from his shelf. The whole scene was so damn domestic that he was sure the smile would be plastered onto his face for days. “Good morning. Cheesy eggs, bacon, and toast has arrived. I hope you’re hungry.”
Buck’s eyes instantly gravitated to him as the man finally sat up in bed. He’d been laying down, holding all the stuffed animals while he listened to the story, while the smile on his face was as warm as the sun. “Starving, actually. Is the bacon crispy?”
“Daddy!” Chris closed the book and hurried to put it on the nightstand. “Buck’s never been to build a bear! He doesn’t know what it’s like, or that they have firefighter outfits for the stuffed animals. Like Marshall!” He picked up the dalmatian and held it high. “Can we go there today?”
“Maybe, we’ve got some other important things to do first. Like taking Buck to his place so he can get a change of clothes and take his medicine, then go and get him a new phone.” Eddie had every intention of trying to convince Buck to pack a bag with several changes of clothing to come back and stay with him and Chris, especially since he didn’t have a car. “But by the time he’s got his new phone it’ll probably be time for lunch. And if we all feel up to it and Buck wants to , we can try to go to build a bear. For now, though, let’s eat before the eggs get cold and the bacon turns floppy again.”