Chapter Text
So... I was on my home chilling watching the good and old Daily bugle, and heating JJJ talking shit about spiderman once again while eating some burgers. This is how heaven must feel like. Suddenly my phone starts to ring
"Yo?"
"Are you Deadpool right? Is that what they call you?" Said the voice of a woman
"Yep. That's me."
"Great, you are the guy that kills the people that I pay you to kill right?"
"that's me again!"
"Great, so I have a job for you in japan."
"In japan... Well I always wanted to go there."
"This will make things even easier, so there is this place called the Hakurei shrine, there is a woman kidnapping people there, can you go there and get rid of her for me? I I'll pay you as much as you need."
"A kidnapper? Well... I can work with that!."
"Great! Also can you learn some japanese before going there, even the basic is already enough, you will need it."
"I can. But why?."
"trust me, you will need it."
"Fine, but I'll tell you that the job will take longer because of that."
"I don't really care. As long as you finish it anyway."
"So we have a deal right? I'll be there as soon as I can."
Alright, so I learned some japanese because the author wanted to have an actual reason for why I can communicate with japanese people instead of saying some bullshit like that in this universe everyone speaks english also a timeskip of 2 weeks happened by the way. Anyway japan is a pretty cool place and some people confused me with spiderman again, like come on besides the red and white eyes we have nothing in common, besides I ate some food there, It tasted good, I also tried to learn more about that hakurei shrine and it appears that It was abandoned a long time ago, and also that sometimes some people mysteryous dissapear. But no one notices until it's too late
Finally arrived at the place at night after wasting the entire day exploring the place, the Hakurei shrine, it looks old as fuck, why would someone want to hide there for kidnapping people?
"Alright so, where is that bitch?"
Suddenly a gap, appear on the air, with two ribbons on it's end. Wade (Yeah now the narration will be on the third person) could see some eyes inside there.
"You don't see that everyday."
Suddenly a woman comes out from inside the shrine.
"You see that everyday."
That woman had a long blonde hair, a white hat with a red ribbon on it, she wears a a pinkish white dress, a chinese style tabard with various trigrams, starts with the color orange with a yin-yang simbol and at the top war completely purple. She was carrrying a umbrella matching the color of her dress and a white fan.
"Deadpool I suppose." Said the woman, she sound relieved to see that Deadpool has come
"And you are?" Asked the mercenary, already forggeting the gap from before
"Yukari Yakumo." Said the blonde haired woman
"Great, so are you the woman that I have to kill."
"Yes. I am also the woman that have contacted you" Says Yukari, making Deadpool perplexed
"You're the woman that called me that day!. Man how does this keeps happening to me? I mean, there are more economicals ways of commiting suicide, you can jump from a building, or if you want something more reserved you can go with the cutting your wrist way, but if you a cleaner way nothing that the good old rope can't solve."
A smile forms on Yukari's face
"You're funny redman. You're exactly how they told me you were."
"Who told you about me?"
"The others marvels from this world, but this doesn't matter now." Suddenly Deadpool remembered that gap from earlier
"That thing from earlier, it was you who made that?"
"That gap? Yes it was my doing, I just wanted to test your courage."
"I passed I suppose. Are you like a mutant or something like that?"
The smile on the face of the violet themed woman gets bigger and bigger
"I am a youkai."
Deadpool put his hand on his chin, that word was not entirely unfamiliar to him
"Youkai? I think I watched a anime with these guys once, do you know about Inuya-"
"Shut up." Yukari says, the smile was still on her face but anger could be felt on her words
"Not a fan I see, well... Now thinking about it, does animes that features youkai count as some sort of racism?" Deadpool says, Yukari din't know if it was a genuine question or if he was trying to get on her nerves, but if it was the latter he was definitely succeding.
"Let's leave this topic for later, or better, let's never talk about this topic ever again."
"Whatever you say beautiful."
"You see, I bring you there for a reason."
"I am all ears." Deadpool says putting his hands on his ears, Yukari ignores it
"I want you to show me how strong you are."
"Crazy strong, I just want to let you know that, but why would you want that?"
"Well, I just want to see if you can fit well with the others, depending on how good you are, we may as well no longer need a barrier."
"What barrier?"
"With all that is happening around this world right now. Maybe there is still a space out there for all of us."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
Suddenly Yukari unleashed her umbrella, three blue orbs comes flying at deadpool's direction, he easily dodges the first two and destroyes the third with his sword. "Wow, this is just like Dragon Ball" Wade says as he takes out his pistols and shoots at Yukari
Yukari easily blocks the bullets with her umbrella, and then proceeds to retaliate back unleashing more projectiles. Deadpool manages to dodges all of them and get closer to Yukari. he takes both of his blades and furious strikes Yukari. But his assault was blocked with ease by her umbrella, she then his him with her fan, and push him away with the umbrella, but while being hit, Wade throws a grenade which Yukari did not notice
"You're not that bad, but it will not be enough to defeat me, mercenary."
"What's up with all of these long range attacks? To scared to fight me mano a mano?"
"Petty insults won't work on me."
"If you think so." Deadpool says in a mocking tone
"Wha-" Before Yukari could notice, the grenade throwed by Deadpool had already exploded.
"As the kids say. Rip bozo." Deadpool says looking at the exlosion, he then gets ready to leave the shrine
As Deadpool was ready to leave, he notices something, he could not find Yukari's body anywhere. He then sees a gap appearing on air again, but Yukari comes out it this time, her dress as a little dirt because of the explosion
"You surprised me Deadpool. If I din't opened that gap on the last minute it would have hurt. But I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."
Deadpool uleash his pistols once again. "If you think so. Make sure to die this time" He shoots at Yukari but this times opens a gap blocking all of Deadpool's bullets she then opens another gap above the red mercenary. A rain of bullets falls upon Wade Wilson
"This could have killed any normal human, but you are far from normal. Right?"
Deadpool acts like he had been hitting by nothing, his only frustation right now is that he wasted those bullets, all of the wounds created by the rain started to heal with a amazing speed, he only wished that his healing factor could also heal his clothes
"You are being a pain in the ass you know. But you are not the only one who likes to mess with space."
Deadpool then touches his belt, he vanishes from Yukari's sigh, as she looks behind to see the redman behind her, he strikes with his swords, managing to make a small wound on Yukari's face.
"Ugh!" Yukari says, she was a little bit frustrated to be caugh by the human like that
"Relax, it will go away with a band aid, but I assure you, these ones will be permanent!" As he was falling Deadpool takes out his pistols and starts to violent shoot a t Yukari, she quickly takes her umbrella, but because of the close distance beetween the two, some bullets manages to hit her
"I better you never saw that coming!" Deadpool says before falling to the ground.
Suddenly Yukari starts to laugh
"Are you like these types of anime characters that starts to lose their shit when they get damaged by the main character"
"You surpassed all of my expectations. You're way too good mercenary. But now, I want to see how you will deal with this!" Yukari then takes a piece of paper from one of her gaps
OBSOLETE LINE "TRIP TO THE OLD STATION"
Suddenly a gap opened, and a massive old train comes out of it. "Oh fuck this! You will pay me the double after I'm finish with you!" It's the last thing Wade says before jumping above it, because of the speed of the train he falls but quickly manages to get back on feet, some parts of his legs were broken but soon they regenerated, Deadpool keeps runing against the train, pulling his muscles to it's limits, finally almost reaching the end of the spell card
Jumping from the train, with a tremendous speed, ready to slice Yukari in seventeen pieces, but Yukari just smiles as she looks at the mercenary, once again she opens a gap. Deadpool jumps straight into it
"This was just a practice fight, now. The real deal will start." Says the youkai that lurks inside of the boundarys
Deadpool could see inside the gaps, eyes cover all of his field vision, Wade Wilson was surrounded by darkness and eyes
"Man this sucks. You know... Looking like this, it kinda looks like a genjustsu from Naruto... Man I can't believe that I made a Naruto reference on 2024. This really sucks, I gonna slice that woman in seventeen pieces, fry them and give to my dog to eat when I get her!"
Finally another gap appears, transporting Deadpool to the sky above a forest
"Fuck my stupid life." Said the mercenary before hitting with full force the ground of the forest, it wouldn't kill him, trust me, he tried that already, the pool of orgams and blood formed by the fall of Deadpool, starts to reorganize.
"I fucking hate space manipulators!" Says Deadpool fixing his leg while ignoring the pain, just because it will regenerate doesn't mean that it will not hurt
Suddenly he hears something coming from the woods, "I hope that it's a bear, I really want to eat some bear meat right now."
"Do you it bears sir?" Said a sphere of darkness, because of the darkness of the night it was hard to see what exactly it was, from the sphere comes the voice of a young girl
"Sometimes when I want to eat something, normally I just eat whatever comes to me when I want to eat." Answered Deadpool, finishing fixing his leg "Yeah." He says standing up once again
"I was about to eat you, but now I think I lost my appetite..."
"Well... If I was in a good mood right now I would probaly offers some of my fingers for you, but now I'm really pissed off!"
"By the way were is this place?" Asked Deadpool while stretching his arms
"You are in gensokyo right now sir!"
"Damn, I must got transported to another dimension, this really sucks. By the way whats your name?"
"I am Rumia!" The darkness dissapear revealing a young girl no older than 6, blonde hair, red eyes, wearing a white shirt with black vest and skirt, a red ribbon and a red handkerchief
"Let me guess it, you are a Youkai, just like that woman?"
"Wow! How did you know?" Asked Rumie surprised a lot of outsiders either din't believe in youkai or just ignored them until it was too late
"If that woman was youkai, and she transported me to what I suppose to be her home dimension, so is just logical to assume that you are also a youkai."
"But what if I was human?"
"How many humans do you know that would come from a ball of darkness? I know some but I don't know if I can say the same about you."
Rumia was surprised by Deadpool's statement, even from outsiders standard this guy was weird, it's not any normal human that can surivive a fall from the sky and just keep walking like nothing happened
"By the way my name is Deadpool."
Also there is not a lot of humans with a name like that
"Well after this talk I kinda chill out a little, here you can get that." Deadpool takes out one his gloves revealing a severely damaged skin, looking like it was sliced and burned more than a thousand times, with his other hand he used his sword to cut out his five fingers
"You eat that."
"Really! Yay!" Rumia starts to rapidly eat the fingers while Deadpool leaves, Rumia din't even notice his fingers growing back
"All right, so I have a job to fnish. And I never let a job unfinished."
Deadpool walks trought the forest, in hopes to find his target, at this point he was already used to this type of crazy stuff happeing to him, so for him it was just another job, even if it was on another dimenson.