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The knock on her door came about a week later.
A week after she tased her ex boyfriend live on the internet and had her life blown to pieces once again.
Ruby was… fine. All things considered. Yeah sure she started dating this guy, and maybe he was kinda cute and she started falling for him a little bit. And maybe she told him things she had never told anyone else, and maybe she trusted him, and maybe she missed his dimpled smile and stupid ruffled hair. And maybe his betrayal cut deep into her heart because after all she’s seen and done how did she fall for it –
But she was fine. Really. She’s Ruby Sunday after all. It would take more than a broken heart to do her in.
The knocking however, that was getting annoying.
She’d been on the news now, trending on Twitter, all that stuff. She’d been stopped in the grocery store at least five times in the past week. Thankfully it was more people complimenting her and calling her “hot taser lady” than it was the nutjobs, but the attention was awful. It was like Conrad was still there, even when he was locked in prison. His stupid dumb smirk and cruel laugh echoed with every request for a selfie.
So by the time she heard the knock at her door, she was about done.
She threw her head into her pillow and muffled a scream. She was going to kill someone, either whatever reporter was on her doorstep, or Conrad. Maybe both.
“I’ve got it,” her mum called from the kitchen.
“Wait, Mum,” she rolled out of the bed and stumbled to the doorway, “Don’t–”
The door creaked open.
“-answer.” Ruby groaned and let her head fall. If there was anything worse than reporters bothering her, it was reporters bothering her mother.
“Hiya,” the voice on the other side of the door said, “I’m looking for Ruby Sunday?”
“She’s not here right now,” her mum said, in a voice far kinder than the intruder deserved.
“Oh, right, well could I leave a message?”
“Um-”
To hell with it. Ruby had fought bogey monsters and gods. She wasn’t going to hide in her room like some scared little girl. She stormed into the kitchen and stepped into the doorway beside her Mum, blocking her with her body.
“I’m here,” she said, not bothering to keep the rage out of her voice, “What do you want?”
“Oh, hi,” the woman said. She gave Ruby a hesitant smile. “I just wanted to ask–”
“Nope,” Ruby cut her off, “Look I’m done doin’ interviews. I won’t do photos. I don’t want to hear about Conrad, or Unit, and I’m not going to give you proof of aliens. Now can you people please just leave me alone –”
“Wait!” The woman put her foot in the door before Ruby could close it, “It’s not that-”
“Don’t care, bye.”
“I know the Doctor!”
The sentence slipped through the crack in the door, and Ruby froze. Her hand was stuck to the handle.
“Ruby?” Her mum put a hand on her shoulder.
“I know.”
She could be lying . Her brain told her. She could be just like Conrad. Just another trick to make a fool of you.
Or she could be telling the truth. Another voice said, sounding a bit like the Doctor. Either way, aren’t you curious?
She took a steadying breath and opened the door again. The woman stood there, hands out. “Go on.”
“I traveled with her,” The woman said. She shook her head, “I mean him. Them. She was a woman when I traveled with her I mean.”
Ruby raised an eyebrow, “Come again?”
“Right, um, the Doctor can regenerate their body when they die–”
“No, I know that bit,” Ruby waved her hand, “Just, didn’t realize they could change, you know, all of it.”
“Apparently,” the woman said with a half-smile, “Sorry, not really the point. Point is, I’ve traveled with them, and I know what it’s like to see all that, all those amazing things, and then just… stop.”
The woman had a strange glint in her eye- a hint of wonder and excitement. Ruby’s seen the look in the Doctor’s face when they step onto a new world. She’s seen it in the mirror. She thought she saw it in Conrad too.
She knows about regeneration. The voice says. Half the people at Unit don't know that.
“Do you have a podcast?”
The woman raised an eyebrow, “No?”
“Good.” Ruby stepped aside and prayed she wasn't making a huge mistake, “Come in.”
“Thanks,” the woman said.
“What’s your name?”
“Yaz,” she grinned, “Yasmin Khan.”
They moved to the couch, and Mum put the kettle on. Yaz accepted the tea with a grateful smile, while Ruby studied the woman beside her.
She was a bit older than her, maybe mid twenties, with black hair pulled back in a neat braid. She was also wearing a very cool leather jacket that had Ruby self-consciously running her hands over the trim of her baggy sweatshirt. (So her laundry had taken a hit in the past week. Her ex pointed a gun at her; she was entitled to be a bit lazy.)
“Sorry for just barging up to your house like this,” Yaz said, “Didn’t have any other way to contact you.”
“It’s fine,” Ruby shrugged, “We’ve gotten a bit used to it to be honest.”
“Tell me about it,” her mum huffed, “Me and Louise are this close to hirin’ security.”
She sat down on Ruby’s other side and crossed her arms, more terrifying than any security guard could ever hope to be.
“I was honestly surprised there wasn’t a Unit guard at the door,” Yaz said, “Kate tends to get overprotective when it comes to things like this.”
Ruby raised an eyebrow, “You know Kate?”
Yaz nodded, “She’s the one who helped me find you.”
“She couldn’t have just given you my number?”
“She said you locked your phone in the safe and weren’t planning on picking it up for a month. Figured I should talk to you before then.”
Right. She forgot she did that.
Around the fifty second call begging her to appear on a talk show Ruby had nearly chucked her phone out the window. The safe was a compromise.
“And why did you?” Ruby said, putting down her cup, “Find me I mean?”
Yaz shifted in her seat, “We saw you on the news a few days ago. What that man did-” her lips drew in a thin line, “It’s hard enough getting back to life on Earth without people like him. Got on the phone with Kate as soon as I could to try and find ya.”
"Right." The worst thing about Conrad wasn't what he said, even if she did hear it in her nightmares most nights. No, the worst thing was that he had said it for everyone to see. One of her worst moments, and it was all some people knew about her. Ruby clenched her fists and took a deep breath. “We?”
“Oh, right,” Yaz pulled out her phone and began scrolling through, “You might have guessed, but we aren’t the only ones who’ve traveled with the Doctor.”
Ruby nodded, wondering where she was going with this, “I’ve met Mel.”
“Love Mel,” Yaz said, “She comes to every meeting. Her carrot cake is incredible.”
“Meeting?”
“Of the Companion Support Group,” Yaz said, holding up her phone so Ruby could see the photo, “Cooler name pending.”
Ruby leaned closer to the screen and felt her mouth fall open. “No way.”
There were close to twenty people in the photograph, crowded together in a huddle of arms and smiles. Most of them look older, much older, but there were a few closer to her age. She could make out the tiny figure of Yaz, arm thrown around a gray-haired man while a blonde woman gave her bunny ears.
“This was our last meeting,” Yaz said, her face stuck in a smile as she looked at the photograph, “One of our biggest yet. Even had Ben and Polly. They were living in India when we tracked them down.”
“There’s so many,” Ruby said, a bit in awe. She looked at the oldest: a man in a wheelchair with white hair and smile-lines running across his face. How long had the Doctor been doing this?
“There’s more,” Yaz said, “We keep finding them. Between all of us and Unit’s records we’ve managed to work out a timeline. We know there’s more on other planets, and some in other times, and there’s some who’ve… well,” Yaz cleared her throat, “Point is, there’s a lot of us.”
She glanced at Ruby, and put a hand on her shoulder, “We started meeting up about a year ago. For some of them it's been decades since they traveled with the Doctor,b ut it helps us know we’re not alone.”
Yaz looked her, and even though she was still softly smiling, there was a sadness in her eyes. Ruby got the feeling that she understood.
She looked over all the faces. Everyone one of them had met the Doctor. Every one of them was like her.
“Sometimes I feel like I’m going mad,” she admitted, “If it weren’t for Kate I’d think I’d made it all up.”
“I know that feeling,” Yaz said softly, “We know adjusting can be… rough. Stuff like what we’ve gone through– there aren’t many who can relate to it. That’s part of why Graham started this.”
Ruby nodded and fought back the urge to cry. “So it’s like therapy?”
“Some days,” Yaz laughed, “Some days. But a lot of the time it’s just a place to be. Where we can share stories and laugh about them without people thinking we’re crazy. Sometimes it’s just watching Jo and Mel debate the best brownie recipe. Or it’s listening to Ace tell stories– which I swear she makes up because there’s no way the Master was ever a furry–”
“How often do you meet?” Ruby found herself asking.
“Officially, it’s once a month,” Yaz said, “But all the old timers in retirement end up meeting once a week. I make it when I can.” She slipped a card into Ruby’s hand, “Here’s the address and time. Ya don’t have to, but we’re there if you want.”
“Right,” Ruby stared down at the card, “Thanks.”
“Of course,” Yaz said, “We look after each other.”
Yaz left a few minutes later, leaving Ruby with a head full of questions and a heart of tentative hope.
“Well she seemed nice,” her mum said, sliding onto the couch beside her.
“Yeah,” Ruby nodded, “she did.”
She had, and every part of her screamed to trust her, but another part was still caught under the floodlights, staring at actors in masks and wondering where it all went wrong.
“Hey. Come here,” Mum said, putting an arm around her and letting her fall into her shoulder, “What’s going through that head of yours?”
“What if it’s another trick?” Ruby whispered, barely daring to say the words out loud, “What if I get there and they’re just there to laugh at me?”
Her mother ran her hand up and down her back, “Mel’s in that photo isn’t she?”
“Photoshop mum.”
“Hm,” Mum plucked the card out of her hand and gave it a piercing look, “Says the meetings not for a few days. How about for now you just focus on what you want for dinner yeah? Think about all this after a good night’s rest.”
“Right,” Ruby stared out the window, “Sounds good.”
The card sat on her nightstand untouched for three days until Louise came by for a visit and asked about it.
“Are you going to go?” she asked, after Ruby explained.
“Dunno,” Ruby shrugged, “Maybe.”
She went back to her lunch, and tried to ignore the not-so-subtle glances between her mothers. Downside of having two of them is that lying is even harder than it used to be.
She was worrying her family, she knew. She’s been listless recently, worse than when she first stopped travelling. Most days she’s too scared to leave the flat. How can she? They used to think she was paranoid for seeing aliens at every turn, but now it’s cameras and recordings and stupid newspapers, and they’re all real.
“It might be good for you,” Mum said, “That Yaz girl seemed lovely, and you already know Mel and Rose.”
“Could give you someone to talk to,” Mum, other mum, Louise, said.
“It could,” Ruby agreed, poking at her food. It could also end with her trending on Twitter again. She can see the headline now: “Dumb girl hallucinates traveling in a phone box: spills all to fake therapy group.”
“What if I go with you,” her mum suggested, “Just to drop you off, put the fear of a mother in them.”
“I’m not a child,” Ruby grumbled.
“Well you’re my child,” her mum kissed her on the head, “And I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe.”
She ended up calling Kate, risking removing her phone from the safe in her Mum’s closet. Kate told her the group was very much real. Ruby was torn between relief that it wasn’t a scam and the incredible urge to strangle Kate for not telling her sooner.
“I don’t go often,” Kate said over the phone, “Work gets so busy, And I don’t count really.”
Ruby laughed, “Sure you do.” Kate’s seen just as much as she has, maybe more.
“I haven’t traveled with him,” Kate said, “Not in the way many of them have. Trust me, there’s a difference. But you should go.”
So she goes.
She ended up letting her mum (Carla) take her. At least, ride the train with her to the address on the card, and then shop in the nearby area just in case Ruby needed her. (“One call,” she said, holding Ruby’s hand, “One call and I’ll come running.”)
Even with that, she nearly backed out as soon as she got there. She spent a good ten minutes staring up at the building with Yaz’s card in her hand and something like nausea in her throat until she gathered up the nerve to knock on the door.
It flew open, and a blonde woman in an old jacket covered in patches and pins stood in front of her, “Password.”
She blinked.
“Huh?”
“What’s the password?”
“Um,” Ruby broke out in a sweat, “Yaz didn’t say there was-”
“Oh Ace stop messing with her,” the door widened, and Mel’s face appeared, splitting into a wide grin. “Hello Ruby dear!”
“Mel,” Ruby felt her entire body sag in relief, “Is there really a password?”
“No, there isn’t.” Mel smacked the other woman, Ace, on the shoulder, “For heaven sakes let the poor girl in.”
“I was going to,” Ace complained, “Sorry kid, just messing with you.”
“If you keep messing with the newcomers you’re going to scare them off.”
“I’ll have you know people love me.”
Mel rolled her eyes and turned to Ruby, “How are you doing dear?”
Ruby felt a lump appear in her throat, “I’ve been better.”
“Oh,” Mel tutted and opened her arms. Ruby practically fell into the hug. Mel smelled like an odd mixture of lavender and carrots. “I about wanted to kick Kate when she said no one had told you about us yet. Didn’t even think. I’m sorry it took so long.”
“‘S’alright, I’m here now aren’t I?” Ruby said, stepping back. “How’re you?”
“Oh I’ve been fine, me and Ace just got back from a trip to the Americas. Some Zygon refugees got very, very lost. And then there was some nasty business with a Slitheen…”
“Ace Mcshane,” the woman said with a grin, holding out her hand, “Nice to meet you.”
“Ruby Sunday,” she said, taking it. Ace’s grip was firm, and her palms were covered in calluses.
“I know,” Ace said, “Brilliant name.”
“Thanks,” Ruby said, blushing a bit. If this group was full of badass older women with bi flags embroidered on their jackets she could see herself hanging out longer. “Yours is cool too.”
“Picked it myself,” Ace grinned, “Nice work with that taser by the way.”
Never mind. She was leaving. “Has everyone seen that?”
Mel hesitated, “Probably. Most of us are connected to Unit in some way. We tend to pay attention when people break into their headquarters.”
“Great, amazing.”
“You looked cool,” Ace said reassuringly. It only helped a little.
“Come on,” Mel said, patting her arm, “You’re a bit early. I’ll introduce you to some of the others.”
Some of the others included a man with grey hair and a brilliant smile named Dan and a married couple named Nyssa and Tegan.
“Ruby Sunday,” Tegan mused as Ruby introduced herself, “And you’re human?”
“Yes,” Ruby stiffened, wondering if this was another crack at her name.
“Sorry, had to check. Most of us are but being married to an alien makes you think about these things.”
“Married to-“ Ruby glanced at Nyssa “You’re an alien?”
“Either that or the first seventeen years of my life were a mass hallucination,” Nyssa says with a smile.
“So how’d you meet the Doctor?”
Tegan and Nyssa exchanged a look. Whatever they were going to say was interrupted by the door flying open again.
“Look who finally decided to show up,” Dan called.
“Shut your mouth I’m ten minutes early,” Yaz said, grinning ear to ear. When she saw Ruby her smile got impossibly wider, “You actually came!”
“Well don’t say it like that, she’ll think there’s something wrong with us,” the older man beside her joked.
“There is. That’s why we’re here.”
“Oh hush,” the man held out his hand, “I’m Graham, and that’s my grandson Ryan.”
“Hey,” Ryan said with a nod.
“Hi.”
“Hey Graham, can you help Ace with the chairs?” Yaz asked.
“On it.”
Yaz motioned her to the side, “So, whaddya think?”
“It’s brilliant,” Ruby said, “It’s a lot, but it’s brilliant.”
“Yeah?”
“There’s just…” Ruby looked around the room. Graham, Ryan, and Ace were arranging chairs in a circle, while Nyssa, Tegan, and Mel began laying out some food. A few more people began pushing their way through the doors, each greeting with smiles and cheers. “There’s so many of them.”
“It can be a bit overwhelming at first,” Yaz agreed, “But they’re a good group. The Doctor doesn’t travel with just anyone you know.”
“How long has the Doctor been doing this?" Ruby found herself asking.
“Not sure,” Yaz shrugged. She pointed into the crowd, “Ian and Barbara, those to over there, just walked in. No that’s Jo, to her left. Yeah them. They’re the first from what we can tell. From 1963. They're the oldest. Well, sort of the oldest. Victoria was born in 1852 but she didn't live it all linearly."
"1852?"
"Yep."
"So," Ruby did the math, "Hang on, she's from the Victorian Era?"
"Yes, and yes she's aware of the irony."
Ruby shook her head and laughed, "So she's from another time and Nyssa is an alien. Anything else I should know?"
"Ace isn't entirely human either but that's a long story," Yaz shrugged, "She'll tell it again eventually."
"Suddenly I feel very normal."
"As normal as any of us," Yaz said, bumping her shoulder, "And that’s the point of the group yeah? None of us are alone.”
She smiled at her, and for the first time in ages Ruby felt herself fully relax.
“Alright everyone,” Dan called rubbing his palms together, “Let’s get started shall we?”
There were a few more minutes of confusion, but then they were off.
When they sat down in the circle of plasticy chairs Ruby felt the anxious nausea rolling in her again, but it soon faded. She had been expecting something more like an AA meeting, or those therapy groups she heard about from her foster siblings. Awkward silences, broken by someone urging them to give up their darkest secrets or something equally horrifying.
Instead it was mostly introductions, a whole slew of names she could never hope to remember, mixed in with a few stories from the week. Ruby tried to pay attention to each name as they went around the circle, but quickly gave up. Ian, Barbara, Dodo, Victoria, Jo… they went on and on. It almost felt like a gossiping barbershop, only the stories were about stopping thieves selling alien tech on the black market, or helping escaped refugees from the next galaxy over, or creating a new version of homemade explosives (Ace). It felt like the family reunions Carla would sometimes host, where all her foster siblings crammed into their tiny flat and spent hours laughing and catching up.
Yaz and Mel sat down on either side of her, and when her turn came, they gave her an encouraging nod. She took a deep breath. Screw Conrad.
“Er, hi,” she waved, “My name is Ruby Sunday. I stopped traveling with the Doctor a few months ago…”
“Bye Ruby!”
“See you next time!”
“By dear, I’ll send that muffin recipe to you as soon as I get home!”
“Bye!”
Ruby waved as the other companions began to file out. Her and Yaz sat on a bench outside the building, waiting for her mum to arrive.
She let herself take a deep breath. She hadn't been sure about any of it, and in the few moments of silence following her explanation of Conrad and everything that had happened she had worried that she had lost this group's faith already. All these people had traveled with the Doctor, and here she was giving away his secrets to a pod-caster.
But after she had finished the room was quickly filled with a clamor of outrage, creative cursing (Tegan), and suggestions of how to make Conrad's death look like an accident (Ace and a woman named Doctor Shaw.)
"Have a good time?" Yaz asked.
"Brilliant," Ruby said, "They're all so... kind."
Yaz nodded, "When we first started meeting I felt like I gained half a dozen lesbian aunts over night."
"Well it's brilliant. I hope they never change."
"No chance of that," Yaz said. Her smile faltered for a moment, "I um, wanted to tell you before you left. I kinda understand where you're coming from, with the whole Conrad thing."
"Oh?" Ruby leaned back, "Did you fall in love with a shitty podcaster too?"
Yaz laughed, "No nothing like that. But uh, there was this one girl in school, Izzy Flint."
Ruby frowned, watching as Yaz's shoulder's drew in and she began fidgeting with her hands. She stared off into the distance, "She were my best friend. Until she found out I was gay."
Ruby winced, and Yaz sighed, "Outed me to the whole school, started bullying me, spreading rumors, sayin' horrible things. It was awful. It's hard to go out into the world knowing you can't always change how people see you, even if the way they see you is based on lies."
She gave Ruby a pointed look, and Ruby nodded. "Does," She hesitated, the question sounding stupid in her head, "Does it get better?"
"It does," Yaz said, "I mean it isn't easy. People can be horrible, but thankfully, most have short memories too, and they'll move on. And for the ones who don't, well, friends help."
"I think I may have made a few of those today," Ruby grinned.
"You have," Yaz smiled, "An we care about you."
"Yeah?"
"Course," Yaz said, "When all you ever hear is the horrible things people say about you, you start thinking those things about yourself. You've gotta figure out which voices to listen to." Yaz smiled at her, and put her hand over Ruby's, "And I've only met you twice Ruby Sunday, but I think you're brilliant, and you shouldn't listen to anything that stupid man said."
If Ruby ever saw the Doctor again, she was going to give him hell. Because Yasmin Khan clearly deserve to be given the greatest date in this, or on any other world.
"So the support group isn't just for the alien stuff huh?"
"Nah it's for the human stuff too," Yaz said, "Should've seen last week. Rose was all worried about her presentation for school and Ryan was asking for dating tips. He's single by the way."
"Good to know."
"Ruby!"
She looked up and saw her mom waving from the other side of the street.
"That's my cue," she said, hopping off the bench, "See you around?"
"Definitely," Yaz pulled her into a hug, “I’m glad you came.”
“Me too,” Ruby smiled. She waved goodbye one last time before skipping up to her mum and throwing herself into a hug.
“Well hi there,” Mum said, laughing and pulling her close, “Did you have a good time?”
“Mhm,” Ruby said into her shoulder.
“Did you make any friends?”
Ruby turned back to where Yaz was still waving on the doorstep, “Yeah, yeah I think I did.”
"Good," Mum said, pressing a kiss into her shoulder, "Lasagna for dinner?"
"Sounds perfect."