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It had seemed that he had stitched himself back together— that was all she knew. There had been other phrases whispered to the TARDIS, something about how he had missed traveling like this, how he grateful that this wasn’t so big any more, and many others she couldn’t hear. She had heard him talking about it one night as he piloted, which had started her spying. Rose had only gotten up to get a glass of water, but the TARDIS had lead her out to the console and she had heard him speaking.
It spurred Rose into spying as much as she could, through stolen glances and waking up and walking to the end of the hall when he thought she was asleep. He was always careful as he chatted; he was methodical even then. Keen eyes would watch the screens as he chatted, long strides breaking forth as he moved and a hand reaching for some bobble as everything lurched. And yet, he continued to talk, softly, but Rose could make most of it out. The Northerner accent didn’t throw her, it was more the softness in his voice that did. He normally booming and smiling until a point, quiet meant that something was wrong; he had gotten quiet every time they had been in danger. But they weren’t in danger here, this was his home, protected and piloted and yet he was still quiet. However, this night was stranger, his normal motions were slower, his shoulders almost heavy as he moved and reached, each movement looking painful. He looked like he was tired and languishing. He looked tired. Which was notnormal.
There wasn’t much she could pry from him, but that was fine. Rose trusted him, and he had shown her worlds beyond her reach with one simple word. She’d move mountains for him if she could, if that would keep him safe. And this wasn’t safe. This wasn’t safe for him, and it wasn’t safe for her. He needed rest. It took a few moments to move away from the wall. Rose didn’t want to leave him, just in case something happened. However, eventually she pulled herself away, a blonde head turning away from the Doctor. When her mum was feeling out of sorts, a dry piece of toast and some tea along with some old movies always seemed to snap her back into shape, however Rose doubted that the Doctor was one for Casablanca and a cuppa. The cup of tea was a strong maybe, but she knew that it would be more than a chore to drag him into the library and force him to sit down with her and watch the film. He’d claim that it was too domestic and stated that the TARDIS needed repairs or he was leading them off into some galaxy that she had never heard about. Not that she’d force him into watching a movie; he needed to sleep. Well he looked like he needed to sleep. He was an enigma, and Rose had no idea he what he really needed.
Rose kept following the low hum of the TARDIS; she’d been kind and taken pity on the companion, leading her down the narrow hallways in search of what she needed. The TARDIS, from what Rose understood, was a clever girl and only gave what you needed and not exactly what you wanted. Rose had hoped that the TARDIS had understood, hoping that the old girl agreed with her and would give her what she wanted and give the Doctor what he needed. It still wouldn’t be a pleasant conversation when Rose did confront the man, but hopefully the TARDIS would be on her side. She had been agreeable, leading her past her own claimed room and what she assumed was the Doctor’s place of study. The hum was playful, light and changed the hall around her into one that was almost as familiar with a dark arch at the far left. The TARDIS had led her to the kitchen. It seemed the old girl was being agreeable after all. “Thank you.” She muttered as bare feet padded into the still dark kitchen. Rose’s hand instinctively went for the wall, searching for some kind of switch, however nothing but a small dial, however without her playing with the find, the lights flicked on, the TARDIS taking over, helping the young companion out as she went. Another muttered thanks, escaped Rose, before she moved to the dark oak counter.
First she’d get him something to eat and then she could try and convince him to park the TARDIS and have him lay up for a couple of hours. Of course that would not go over well. Standstill was not an option at all, according to him. They didn’t stay in one spot for too long, they had left 2012 in a gust and then dropped off her ex in a matter of moments. It seemed that the Doctor was always on the run, if not from someone or something, he just ran because he could. It was a state a perpetual motion that finally was showing on his face. All Rose could do was dig through the cabinets in the kitchen and look for something for him to eat. She had never really seen him eat. The one time he had eaten with her is when she bought him fish and chips right down the road from Henrik’s. Even then he had only eaten a couple bites and then given the rest to her. It struck her as odd that he didn’t eat as much or sleep as much as a human, but the explanation that she was always given was that he was alien and vastly different even though he looked the same on the outside. Which always earned him a dramatic eye roll before she stormed off to the library.
Tonight she would get him to stomach something, at least a piece of toast. He had looked horrible as he poured over the controls. Hands went for the electric kettle, one hand holding it open as she poured a couple of glasses of water in to boil. Rose put the glass aside and closed the kettle, setting it to boil before digging through the cupboards again, doubting the Doctor had any lose tea, most likely the grocery instant that steeped for a couple of minutes before throwing the baggie away, he didn’t seem like the kind of man to spend time on things like tea. Too domestic, he’d say. Yet, here she was, in the kitchen, pulling out empty tea boxes and throwing them in the bin.
“You’re up late.” Rose stopped, her hand hovering over another box in the cabinet before he stepped into the room. Her back was turned to the man, but she knew he was standing in the doorway, leaning against it do doubt with his arms crossed, it was how he had stood at her mother’s and almost everywhere. The Doctor loomed and Rose was sure he knew he loomed, which was most likely the reason why he stood the way he did. Rose hover didn’t turn to face him, she grabbed the dark green box and pulled it down and peered into it before pulling a baggie out and replacing it on the shelf. “Cleaning out the cupboards?”
“Making tea, couldn’t sleep. Nightmares. ” It was a lame excuse, but it worked. It wasn’t like he was able to see her face or look into her mind. It wasn’t even a lie. Ever since the run in with the Dalek she had been sleeping poorly, however, tonight she had woken just to hear him speak. “Come in and sit down, I’ll make you a cup.” Rose never turned to look at him, however she heard him shift after her suggestion. He was going to retreat. So she paid him no mind as she returned to looking for a mug and a plate. Perhaps, she could find some bread and make some toast. If not, she’d really have to scrounge through the kitchen. The Doctor needed to eat something.
“I should go work on the TARDIS.” Of course, she always needed something done to her, at least that was his excuse. However, she couldn’t be too upset with him, he claimed he didn’t do domestics, yet he kept her around and made sure that she was taken care of. “Sleep well, Rose.” Rose stopped until she heard the sound of boots on grating was muffled. He was not going to like her after this, but she felt like she needed to take care of him, he wasn’t going to do it and it was quiet obvious that he was the only one that could keep the TARDIS in order, so the duty of keeping the Doctor propped up would fall to her. To her and a banana. It was literally all she could find. The bread was molding and Rose had eaten the rest of the leftovers that her mum had given them for dinner when the Doctor had rejected the idea of going to Mickey’s and ordering a pizza. The kettle whistled loudly and she put the banana down on the plate. The water could wait a second, she threw the baggie into the cup before reaching over to clear the timer on the kettle and unplugging it so she could pour some of the water into the mug. All it needed to do was steep and she could take the banana and the cup to the centre. Then she would convince the Doctor that he would be landing the TARDIS near a Tesco’s and she’d be buying food, and that it didn’t have to be domestic unless he wanted to carry the basket and argue with her over what kind of bread to buy or if he wanted to argue about domestic or import beer, but this would be after he laid down and slept and not a moment before.
She grabbed the mug with one hand and picked up the plate with the other, not even bothering with the lights. Hopefully the TARDIS would get them, like she had before. The organic machine being as helpful as she could, humming lowly and leading the way to the control centre. Rose knew that the Doctor wasn’t going to like this, possibly telling her that this was too domestic, or even asking her why she had bothered, telling her that he would be able to manage. Then he would go back to what he was doing, with his head stuck in the stars while she was a passenger in the dark. That wasn’t how it could be. She wouldn’t allow it to be this way, he may have been the pilot, but she wouldn’t be in the dark, she wouldn’t allow him to starve himself and not sleep. Rose wouldn’t stand for it, even if it was too domestic—he had to eat. He had to sleep; it was normal for every being to do those things. The hallways changed again and she paused by the wall, the wall she always hid behind and listened to him from. He was making a racket, tools scattered all over the floor and a piece of the TARDIS’s metal grating pulled away. So he was working on the TARDIS and wasn’t just saying things to get out of sitting down with her and having a cup of tea. She couldn’t even see him, so she stepped forward, and moved into the atrium. The room was humming, the controls flashing and buzzing as she drew nearer. The dark leather jacket was slung over the back of his chair, she wondered if it was there only as a coat rack, because she had never really seen him sit in the thing. Brown eyes scanned the rest of the centre, turning up to make sure he wasn’t up near the rotors doing some sort of work. However, there was no seat, or the dark haired pilot swinging in the rafters. “Doctor?” She called, knowing he was most likely below, but just because one panel of the floor was open, that did not mean that he was in that area.
“Down here Rose. You need something?” He was in the belly of the TARDIS, and actually in the section of the grate he ripped up. She moved around the tools, over to an uncluttered part of the opening and crouched down to look at him, she laughed when she got a good look at his face, he was already covered in dust and grease. He always got dirty when he went into the belly of the TARDIS for repairs, but to see grease all over his face was humorous. “What?”
“You’re a mess, ya’know that? Ya got grease all over your face and arms. It’s all over your nose.” She put the plate and the mug of steeping tea down beside her and brought her finger to her nose with a laugh. He looked up at her, squinting for a moment before bringing the back of his hand to his nose and trying to rub the grease off his nose. “You just made it worse! Here, let me.” She pulled the sleeve of her dressing gown over her hand while her other hand grabbed the side of the metal grating before she leaned forward and tried to brush the grease off his nose. For a moment he leaned in, before backing away and his hand going to his nose.
It took her a moment to realise that he hadn’t wanted her to touch him, and it was almost offensive for a moment. “I know and I thought you were going back to bed.”
“Not yet, I have to give ya something.” She stated as she scooted away and let go of the railing before picking up the plate and handing it down to him. However he didn’t take the plate. “It’s only a banana, cuz that was all we had in the kitchen. You really need to take me to Tesco so we can get some real food, Mum isn’t gonna give me leftovers foreva.”
“I don’t do domestics, Rose and I’m not hungry. I don’t need food like you do. ”
“I know, I coulda chalked that one up to alien anatomy, but you need to eat, you look terrible. And I need to go to Tesco. I’m not eating out every night, specially when I’m the only one eating. You don’t even need to come in and carry the basket, you can stay here, I’ll get the food.” It was a great idea in her mind, he didn’t have to go out and he could work on the TARDIS. However, distaste was still present, a scowl still on his features.
“If I eat the banana, you’ll go back to bed?”
“If you eat the banana, drink the tea, go get some sleep, and promise to drop me off at a market.”
“Rose—“
“You need to sleep.”
“Rose.”
“Doctor, you’re scaring me, you know? You don’t sleep you don’t eat, the last time you ate in front of me was the day we met and that was two chips at most, so do this for me, please eat the banana.” The Doctor sighed and put the coil down at his feet before turning and slowly climbing back up the base of the metal grating. Rose watched, lifting her hand out of the exposed opening and standing carefully.
He moved slowly, dusting off his arms as he moved to her side, before looking down at the mostly empty plate. “Why’d you put it on a plate?”
“I was gonna make you toast. I had to throw the bread away, it was molding.” She offered up the plate to the man, he continued to eye the fruit for a second before taking it up and beginning to peel it. “You don’t even have to come with me to the market.”
“You were really worried about me?” He sounded so shocked, like she wasn’t supposed to be worried about him. A sigh escaped Rose as she pushed her hair behind her ear and adjusted her dressing gown.
“Yeah, of course, I don’t know how much sleep you need or what you eat and I—“ She paused, turning her head. Rose did not want to admit that she had been spying, but she had to. “I’d pass by here and watch you, over the last few days you’ve been moving slower. Ya’know—you’re not the only one that watches people. You may have that big Time Lord brain of yours, but you’re still readable and not invincible. You take care of me and don’t let anyone else in.”
Rose met his gaze for a moment. He had half a banana in one hand and the peel in the other. “G’night, Rose.”
“You can’t do that!” It was at moments like this she wanted to stomp her front in front of him and stand her ground. He was being stubborn and elusive.
“Goodnight, Rose. I’ll take you to Tesco in the morning.” With that he turned his back to her, heading towards the console and away from her. He was completely done with the conversation, but she wasn’t. This was her traveling companion, the man that meant the most to her. This was the man that had taken her to see her father and saved her from the paradox. He’d given her so much and she’d never done anything for him.
“No, yer gonna talk to me, Doctor! I want you safe, and I don’t know anything other than the bare bones, and you’re so sad on your own. I just want to help! So this is me…trying to help with mug of tea and a banana. It’s a poor attempt, but it’s all I can give ya.”
“You’re so thick. You don’t think your already helpin’? I’m not traveling on my own anymore Rose Tyler, and that’s fantastic, that’s a step up from what has been going on. Though, I’m a Time Lord, Rose. I’m not like you, no matter how much I look human—I’m not. I can take care of myself, been doin’ it long before you came along.” Rose’s shoulder’s fell at that statement. It took him a second to register the words before he turned around. ”Rose—I.” His shoulders slumped, the anger in his voice gone. Rose sighed, crossing her arms as she looked elsewhere and away, trying to look anywhere but at him. “I didn’t mean that, not like the way I said it.”
“I’ve only been trying to help, trying not to do this for your fear of domestic. But then you don’t eat at all and snap, if you’ve been doing this for so long you can take me back to Mum’s and do it on your own again.” Rose knew it was harsh; it was biting and cold. In reality she didn’t want to go back to her mother’s, she’d rather be traveling in the TARDIS with her doctor, but this was also unacceptable. She took a few steps back before turning away and making her way towards the hall and away from this. The low hum of the TARDIS filled her ears again, leading her back to her room and her things, the little things that she had brought. Rose didn’t want to pack anything up. This was her home, this was the best thing that had ever happened to her, but—something needed to change. Rose made her way to her bed, laying down and pulling the sheet around her.
There were no tears for this. She knew the Doctor would apologise and she’d accept it, but she was worried how long that would go on. Would her life punctuated with fights like these? If so she wouldn’t always be able to live like this, not in the constant worry and nothing ever being changed. That was something she wasn’t ever able to do, no matter how much she liked the guy. And when she got down to it the Doctor was just a bloke, just like Mickey. Leaning back into her pillow she sighed, closing her eyes. However, the gentle rock of the TARDIS wouldn’t lull her to sleep, she was almost expecting the tap at the door, but it didn’t come. Her eyes focused on the ceiling of the TARDIS, she was projecting a very normal room for Rose, and Rose had been grateful that the she had picked out the gentle colours that reminded her of home. At this moment it was soothing, while they orbited a star in the middle of a system she couldn’t pronounce. She wanted to fall asleep, she wanted this scrape with her and the Doctor to go away, but was she really asking for that much? Rose knew there were some things she’d never be able to grasp, but she did want to take care him, and she had been worried about his eating and sleeping pattern even though she had no idea what it was. Finally the tap at the door came and she closed her eyes, almost not wanting to answer it, “I thought you didn’t do domestics.”
“I don’t.” His voice was muffled through the door, but she could still hear his gruff voice, it was softer than normal, almost dejected sounding. That was the last thing she had wanted, but it proved he had thought about coming down here. “This isn’t exactly domestic.”
“Kinda is, we just had a row over you not eating, Doctor. Doesn’t get more domestic than this. I even went to bed angry. It’s like an old married couple on the Beebs.” A bitter laugh escaped her as she turned on her side and away from the door, eyes still closed. The thought crossed her mind to put a pillow over her head and tell him to go away, but his question caught her off guard.
“Can I just come in?”
She was quiet for a moment. Coming in meant no running, it meant he wanted to talk, and it meant that he didn’t want her to go back to her mum’s. “Fine, the door is unlocked.” Rose rolled back over slowly; watching the door as the Doctor stepped in awkwardly standing in the front of the room. He looked out of place in the midst of pinks and yellows, she sighed and pulled herself into a sitting position before bringing her knees towards her chest. “You can come and sit on the bed. I’m not going to hit you. I’m not like Mum.”
He took a few steps forward, slowly inching towards the bed, “I ate the banana. Bananas are good. I planted a banana grove once, however the tea was bitter and cold.” There was a ghost of a smile on his features when he spoke about the tea, it made her smile as she let go over her legs and moved closer. “I guess I shouldn’t have let it sit.”
“No you should have take it when I gave it to you, it was just boxed market tea. Dunno how long it’s been in the cupboard. It had dust on it.” The cupboard had been bare and filthy; if someone had stumbled upon that kitchen they would have assumed that it was long abandoned, that was if that kitchen had been normal.
The Doctor sighed finally sitting on the bed. It creaked in protest for a moment, before the mattress shifted. “It’s most likely ages old. I don’t eat often. I’m not used to having someone else yet. I was on my own for a long time. Longer than you’ve been alive. And when I do eat—it’s normally when I’m out.”
“Causing trouble you mean.”
“Oi, Trouble finds me, Rose Tyler. You of all people should know that!” He stated, his smile growing, becoming a grin. It was a reassuring thing. Things were going back to as normal as they could be with them. Rose leaned forward inching closer to the Doctor. “You’re right though. I’m tired, I don’t need as much sleep, but I am tired.”
“I knew it. You don’t move that slowly. You prowl; trust me. I know.”
“You watching me Rose Tyler? Peeking?” He turned, raising a brow at the woman, the cheeky grin still on his face. Rose laughed; it was humorous how he had stated that. She leaned forward and batted at his arm. There problems starting to be resolved with the one admission of
“’Course I am, what else do I have to look at ‘round here? The TARDIS? She’s lovely, but I do like blokes, Doctor.” She paused, sighing as she turned the conversation back towards it’s original topic, “Yeah—but I’m here now and I am gonna remind you to eat, because when I’m up here in the TARDIS with you—you’re all I got.”
“Quite right too, and—you know you’re all I have and I understand what you are trying to do—it just takes time.”
“I know.”
He sighed, his hands pulling at the fabric of his trousers. “Do you still want me to take you back to your mum’s?”
“Nah, I do want you to take me to Tesco so I can get some food, Mum’ll be mad if I just keep coming back for the leftovers and we never eat with her and I don’t think you want to eat dinner with my mum.” Rose knew the answer to that one; they had a conversation on the phone about it once, however it had never come up again. It was obvious where he stood on the idea. Rose moved slowly, pulling herself from the sheet and moving over to the Doctor’s side and laying one of her hands on his. “Are we okay?”
He was still unforgivably grubby, but she wanted to make sure everything was settled. The Doctor moved, pulling his hand away. It took Rose by surprise, but he moved, pulling her into an embrace, “As long as you never buy pears.” Her harms hooked around his neck as she laughed into his shoulder.
This was normal, a balance restored as a calm fell onto the both of them. The Doctor simply rocking them, she didn’t know if he was clinging to her because he was scared she was going to leave, but no matter her threat, she wouldn’t have left him. This was her life now, her life was with his and there was no changing that. So she tucked her head onto his shoulder and laughed again, grateful that they were okay, that everything was fine. He smelled of leather and aftershave. It was a comfort; she didn’t care if he had grease all over his jumper, she just moved closer, invading his space as much as she could before he pushed her away again. However, no warning came, the gentle rock continued, an apology for the outburst, an apology for the Dalek, an apology for everything. She felt his hands at the small of her back and she continued to hold him.
“I’ve got you.” Rose pulled away, her hands still resting on the curve of his neck and his hands still on the small of her back. Nervousness fluttered up, her stomach unsettled by how close she was to him. Rose was well aware of him, well aware of how she felt, however, there was a shyness. Her last relationship had been two friends nagging at one another with the occasional snog. This was different; he had acted different than Mickey when it had come to things, such as the Dalek and how he had feared she had almost died. After they had left, she had spent a while by his side and now, after this row he was allowing her to hold onto him, even though this went against his domestic policy. She ran her nails over the back of his neck, before titling her head, noting his flush. “Rose—“ However, he couldn’t finish his statement; silence had fallen over the doctor, as Rose Tyler captured him for a kiss, pushing her lips over top of his. It had been chaste, for the briefest of moments, a promise that she’d stay put. However, it changed, he leaned, coming around and adding to the kiss as well, a small yearning. She moved, pushing herself to him, minding the gap and finally coming closer, until she could feel the dual beats of his hearts. The was sloppy, teeth meeting as they bumped noses, trying to figure out how they fit together slowly, pulling apart for a moment with a gentle smack, only to meet again with a chuckle from the doctor. He commandeering the situation, his lips now overtop of hers. However, he never daring to push her back and explore the kiss, it was needy, much like how hers had been. Hands migrated from the small of her back to the swell of her shoulder, as her hand came to cup his cheek, a thumb moving over the rough patch of skin. Finally, she pulled away, pressing her forehead to his. While she was trying to reregulate her breathing, he was fine, eyes already open and his breathing was normal. However, she could still feel the beat of his hearts, still erratic. Eventually she shifted, moving away from him and back to his side, however, his hands never left her back, he was still looming there, protectively. His ears were also still flushed, a light shade of pink.
She brought her sleeve to his nose again, trying to wipe away some of the grease and she was so sure some was on her face too. “You’re still filthy!” He cleared his throat and looked away and Rose paused, her hand retreating again.
“Rose, I’ll carry the basket tomorrow.”
“What?” It was breathy, she was still trying to get herself in check, unlike the Doctor, there was only so much air she could take in, and she had already used most of it on him.
“The grocery basket in Tesco. I’ll carry it.”