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The girls never record "Takedown," there's never a true release of it outside of the Idol Awards, and Rumi is gullible enough to think that would keep it from her for the rest of her life.
What an idiot, she thinks, two weeks after the Idol Awards, Gwi-Ma and her patterns on full display.
Mira, Zoey and Rumi decide to come back stronger than ever, a clear showing of a united front. Mira and Zoey released statements explaining the Idol Awards away as a mix-up and nothing more, but that doesn't stop their fans from watching clips of it over and over, editing and analyzing it until there's nothing left.
Rumi isn't on her phone much anymore.
For two weeks, the Idol Awards are just a bad memory, nightmares that Rumi is handling despite the bags under her eyes. Mira and Zoey are careful with her, apologetic and loving, assuring Rumi over and over again that they love her patterns, love the subtle differences of fangs and flashes of an amber eye, love her.
It doesn't fend off the nightmares or stop Rumi from watching Mira and Zoey closer than she ever has before, but it reminds her that Mira and Zoey are hers.
They chose her, and they keep choosing her every day.
After two weeks, though, Huntr/x is back behind tables signing posters and gushing with fans. For the most part, they ask about Rumi patterns, why she got them tattooed like that, and Rumi already has a media-perfect answer at the ready.
"I grew up thinking I had to hide myself," she tells all of their curious fans, "My patterns remind me that there isn't a reason to anymore."
For so many, it humanizes her, takes her down from her pedestal of, "Idol," and slots her perfectly into, "Just Like Us." They rub their teary eyes and confess parts of themselves to her, and every time, her smile is genuine.
Every part of her that hates her patterns, Celine's voice in her head telling her to, "Cover up, no one should know," knits itself to the kindness of learning about others with stories just like her own who look at Rumi and know they can be free.
There are even some who come with their own version of her patterns painted on their skin, and Rumi bites back a smile, because who could've ever known this part of her would be this popular?
Certainly not Rumi, and definitely not Celine, but each interaction sends that same iridesence through the Honmoon, making it one more thread stronger.
They're about halfway through the line when it happens. Mira throws her a new sharpie over Zoey's head while Zoey takes a moment to take a sip from her water bottle and Rumi turns to the next person in line.
His shirt is a screen grab from the Idol Awards, Rumi and the two demons pretending to be her best friends captured in one of their first dance moves.
For a moment, Rumi can't look away, but then the fan shoves his phone into Rumi's face, and it's playing, "Takedown," at full volume.
Rumi tries to smile. "I'm sorry, could you please-"
"This song is the best," he cuts her off, "You need to release it! Huntr/x has never been so cutthroat."
On his phone screen, demon-Zoey shoves Rumi, and she sees the slightest hint of her patterns visible between her top and jacket.
The fan's voice fades into a screeching like microphone feedback. A feeling that Rumi is getting all too tired of shivers down her back, her fingertips starting to go deep purple.
The intro to "Takedown" starts, and Rumi doesn't know what's happening, but she has enough training and all of Mira's choreography memorized, so she falls into the moves despite her confusion.
Zoey and Mira don't say anything, but there's something off. They're pushing at her, singing the lyrics like they know what she is.
They rip her costume off, and there's nowhere to hide.
They know.
They know.
They-
One of the security guards comes around the table, and Rumi is here enough to look at Mira and Zoey.
Mira is already on her feet, a glare prominent as she prepares herself to defend Rumi in any way she can, and Zoey is motioning another security guard over as the guy starts to resist the first.
When Zoey's eyes meet Rumi's, nothing else matters. Rumi doesn't know what she sees, but it's enough for Zoey to pull on Mira's arm and whisper something in her ear before motioning Bobby over.
"We're so sorry, Bobby," Zoey says in her sweet voice.
"No need!" Bobby, despite not knowing anything about what really happened that night besides Huntr/x's apparent break-up, steps in front of the table. "We're sorry, everybody, but due to this incident, we have to cut this signing short! Anyone still in line will receive free tickets to our next signing event, as well as-"
Don't break, Rumi thinks as she leaves Bobby's words to fizzle and pop into nothing in her ears, her feet leading her away from their fans, the strength of the Honmoon, don't show flaws or weakness. No one can see-
A hand on her shoulder stops her, but Rumi isn't in her head, not really.
She grabs the wrist and sends the person into the wall, her other forearm held against their collarbone to stop them from another attack.
The hand holding the person there is purple, claws jagged and dangerous.
"Hey." The voice is soft. "Rumi, come back to us."
Mira.
Oh no, she attacked Mira, she-
"Rumi." Despite being soft, Mira's voice is still just as strong, and it cuts through Rumi's thoughts enough that Rumi lets her go, stumbling back a few steps.
Her hand is already back to her own, but she still feels that unease in her spine.
Behind her, Zoey says her name, her voice even softer, sadder, than Mira's.
"I'm sorry," tumbles from Rumi's lips, and she feels the familiar burn of tears building up. "God, Mira, I'm so sorry. I could've hurt you. Did I hurt you? I-"
Despite what happened just moments before, Mira grabs Rumi's face in her hands, and Rumi doesn't have time to flinch. "I'm not hurt," she says, "I'm still a hunter, and we're built a bit sturdier than that."
The touch is easy to remember when Rumi's mind is here, when Mira is the only thing in her vision, and she knows that this Mira is her Mira, not the demons that pretended to be her. Rumi memorizes the feel of it, how soft it is, how these hands would never hurt her like they did that night.
Zoey's arms grab her from behind, her cheek resting between Rumi's shoulder blades, and she focuses on the both of them, on their soft touch and the way it makes Rumi feel safe despite everything.
"You want to talk about it?" Mira asks after Rumi's breathing slows and the chatter in Rumi's head quiets just enough to be in the hallway leading to their green room as opposed to onstage under searing yellow lights.
Rumi shakes her head, and Mira lets her for just a moment before stepping into Rumi's space and wrapping her arms around Rumi and Zoey.
Zoey lets out a little, "Oof," against Rumi's jacket, and Mira sets her chin on Rumi's head.
"Let's go home," Mira suggests, "We'll get into pajamas, we'll eat some ramyeon, and we'll talk, okay?"
It's phrased as a suggestion, but Rumi knows it isn't.
There are no more lies between them. They promised each other that, and the last thing Rumi wanted to happen was to lose her best friends over something as stupid, as pointless, as this.
A kiss is pressed to the crown of Rumi's head before Mira lets her go to make sure their car is pulled around and waiting for them. Zoey lets Rumi go to hold her hand, but she just barely hesitates, her wide eyes asking Rumi for permission.
Rumi gives the best smile she can. "It's okay, Zo."
"If this is something you need," Zoey says, "If all we need to do is ask before we touch you, it isn't too much to ask, Rumi."
"It's ridiculous," Rumi scoffs, the heel of her hand coming up to wipe away some of the tears she couldn't stop. "We were so close, and yeah, I didn't let you see my patterns, but touch was never the problem, but now it is?"
She's not making sense. Her thoughts are so jumbled and doubled that she knows she isn't, but Zoey doesn't comment on it.
"It's not ridiculous if it makes you feel safe," Zoey says like it's obvious. "If this helps you feel more comfortable in your body, then Mira and I can ask." Zoey reaches out her hand, but doesn't take Rumi's. "Is it okay if I hold your hand?"
The demons didn't ask, didn't respond when they ripped Rumi's jacket off of her shoulders and whispered as her best friends in her ear.
Rumi takes Zoey's outstretched hand as Mira comes back into the hallway.
"Come on." Mira nods her head to the door. "I'm ready to get out of here."
Rumi makes it through the hallway, into the car and all the way home before she snaps. The elevator opens to their living room and Mira and Zoey get off, but Rumi hesitates.
In the wake of defeating Gwi-Ma, after they create a Honmoon built on something more than the hunters before them, Huntr/x goes home.
Mira and Zoey are chatting happily, talking about how cool their new number is, how it felt different fighting the demons this time. Zoey kept bouncing on the balls of her feet and miming the moves she used to take down Mystery while Mira shrugged and played it off, her smile giving her away.
Rumi didn't say anything. She wasn't sure she could make words if she tried.
The elevator dinged, and their living room was exactly how they left it, but as Rumi stepped into the one place she felt like herself, everything felt off.
Wrong.
And she can't help but think that the wrong feeling is her, patterns all across her skin and faded to a slide iridescence. All of the other demon parts of her have faded back, but the patterns always stay. Later, she'll try to hide them like the Saja Boys did, but it won't work.
Rumi is stuck with her greatest shame constantly on display.
"Hey."
Mira's voice catches her off guard, and she throws her arm out before the elevator can close her in.
When they open again, Mira and Zoey are watching her with worried looks.
Under their gaze, Rumi pulls the sleeve of her jacket down as far as it will go, just like she used to be able to do, but her patterns are everywhere. There's nothing she can wear to cover them up.
Mira's eyes flick down to her wrist, but she doesn't say anything about it. "Why don't you go put on some pajamas while Zoey and I get the food going?"
Rumi nods and walks past them, past the view of Seoul that leaves her breathless, even after so many years.
Derpy's in her room when she gets there, his wide, unblinking gaze looking up from the trash can he always seems to forget sits by Rumi's desk. Once he realizes it's Rumi, his gaze goes back down and his paw tries righting the trashcan again and again, sending more of Rumi's papers and old tea bags across her floor.
For just a moment, she forgets everything, because watching Derpy try over and over reminds her of when they first met, Jinu and his sarcasm, and the way neither of them, or Jinu's bird, cared that she had patterns.
She rights the trashcan for him, and the bird helps pick up the trash, his eyes rolling when they catch Rumi's.
"I wonder how long he's been trying to put that right," she wonders aloud, and by the look of Bird's eyes, it's been a while.
She thinks about securing the trashcan to the floor as she opens her pajama drawer and grabs a pair of pants and a sweater.
It's a reflex, one she's been trying to teach herself out of for two weeks, but she can't help it.
Not right now.
Not when her patterns feel like they're burning through her skin and staining every part of her.
She avoids her reflection in the mirror as she gets changed, and after, she sits on her bed.
Mira and Zoey's voices are distant and inaudible in the kitchen, and for right now, where her patterns are only hers and her shame is only hers to bear, Rumi feels like she can take a breath.
She tries to focus on her room, on the things that have been her comfort for longer than she's been a true hunter or the leader of Huntr/x. On her desk is a picture of the three of them before starting their K-Pop career, all in the plain clothes Celine made them wear to train. Zoey's arms are around Rumi and Mira, and all Rumi can focus on is her short-sleeves.
Her patterns were only on her shoulder then, a constant reminder but so much easier to hide.
Without thinking, she pulls her sleeves over her hands.
A knock at her door has her turning, and then she remembers Mira and Zoey, her best friends, her bandmates, hers, still worried on the other side.
When Rumi doesn't respond, the door opens just a crack and Mira pokes her head in. "Food's ready," she says.
Derpy responds to this more than Rumi does. His large form nudges the door open further, and Mira is moved out of the way to let him out. Rumi hears Zoey's high-pitched cooing over him from the living room, the soft, "Hi, baby!" devolving into something unintelligible from Rumi's room.
Mira lets out an aggrieved sigh. "Is he aware he's not a house cat?"
"Probably not."
"Someone should tell him then." Mira crosses her arms and leans against Rumi's doorframe. Her usual glare relaxes into a barely-there smile as she looks out at the living room. "And that someone shouldn't be Zoey."
Rumi is all too aware that Zoey is likely scratching Derpy behind the ears, complimenting him for simply existing.
The other night, she came to grab a glass of water and saw Derpy lying on top of Zoey, Zoey's phone held against his head to keep it steady while some new documentary played.
Mira's looking at her again, her soft smile slipping from her lips.
Any other day, that look would be accompanied by her saying, "You don't need to hide, from us or from anyone," and she would offer Rumi a t-shirt, but she doesn't say that now, and she doesn't pass the boundary of Rumi's bedroom.
"Come on." Mira points to the living room. "We don't want our ramyeon to go cold, and Zoey made some quick tteokbokki to go along with it. Plus-" She breathes out a laugh. "I think we might need to save Zoey from the house cat."
Sure enough, when Rumi pokes her head out of her room, Derpy and Zoey are exactly like she found them the other night, but Zoey is clearly trying to get him off of her despite her laughter.
Mira gives her space as Rumi moves past her, and Rumi is all too aware of it as she walks over to one of their water bottles left by the couch and tips it over.
In moments, Derpy is off of Zoey and struggling to right the water bottle with his too-big paw.
Mira helps Zoey up off of the floor, and instead of heading to the table, they sit leaned back against the couch, their food laid out on the coffee table.
In the middle of Mira's preferred spicy noodles and Zoey's cheesy flavor is Rumi's favorite. There's plenty of space for her to sit between them without touching, and Zoey waves her over.
"That cheese flavor is a monstrosity," Mira says as Rumi sits, clearly trying to make this like any other night.
"At least I can eat my noodles without my mouth literally burning to death," Zoey retorts, grabbing a bit of kimchi from the container on the coffee table and adding it in.
"I'm just built different." Mira loudly slurps up the noodles on her chopsticks.
"Built wrong."
Rumi lifts the lid of her own ramyeon and sits back as Mira and Zoey shoot jabs back and forth. With the couch behind her, the metallic sound of a water bottle falling, being righted and then falling again, and Mira and Zoey's voices, her heart finally settles.
They won't touch her, though. Their thighs are a calculated distance from Rumi's, being near enough without resting against Rumi's like they usually sit.
They're rarely ever not touching. Movie nights are Rumi and Mira sat next to each other, Zoey sprawled across their laps so that she can show them some cool fact about the movie without moving. Meals are usually eaten like they are now, but they're usually pressed together from shoulder to knee.
Rumi doesn't like how it is right now. She knows that Zoey and Mira are doing what they think is best, that they don't want to scare Rumi or make her uncomfortable, and she loves that about them.
They were the first two people to see Rumi and love her unconditionally. When they look at her, she isn't just a hunter, her mother's daughter, or a half-demon.
She's just Rumi, their leader, theirs.
And right now, she is cracked glass ready to shatter at the slightest hint of pressure, and Rumi doesn't like being that.
Rumi sets down her half-eaten ramyeon on the coffee table and grabs hold of Mira's shirt and Zoey's sweatpants to pull them to her without saying a word.
Zoey's banter is cut off, but she scoots closer to Rumi as Rumi's insistence, and Mira does the same, something like warmth settling on her face.
Zoey recovers fast with a huge smile and leans her head on Rumi's shoulder. Mira wraps her arm around the both of them on the couch. Her chin rests on top of Rumi's head as she asks, "You ready to talk about it?"
"There's nothing to say." Rumi's voice comes out rough. "I overreacted."
"You didn't," Zoey says, her voice gentle. "Even if they don't understand everything, we made it clear in our statements that, "Takedown," wouldn't ever be performed or recorded. They don't get to make our decisions for us."
"It's just a song."
"It's not." Mira backs up just enough to put a hand against Rumi's cheek to make Rumi look at her. "We can never really understand how you felt on stage, but we know it was bad. We know that you look at us sometimes and watch us so closely because you want to be sure that we're us, and we know that of all of the ways we could've found out about who you really are, that was the worst way it could've happened."
"The fans power the Honmoon."
"You matter more to us than the Honmoon," Zoey says, her chin coming up to rest on Rumi's shoulder.
"Why?" Rumi chokes out, tears already falling.
Mira's other hand comes up to catch some of the tears while Zoey's arms wrap around Rumi's stomach and hold her tight.
"Because you're more than being a hunter, and more than strengthening the Honmoon, Rumi," Mira says, "We love every part of you, and you are one of the most precious things in my life."
"We don't know what we'd do without you," Zoey adds.
Rumi tries not to think of how close she came to losing them, her sword held out to Celine, the woman embodying all of Rumi's fears and shame, to finish what she could never start.
She never told Mira and Zoey what happened between the Idol Awards and showing up to face Gwi-Ma. She couldn't stomach the thought of looking at them and admitting that she truly believed her death would save them and repair the Honmoon.
She's the reason it fractured and split in the first place.
It was the only logical explanation at the time, and Rumi knew that if she had to die, she would never ask that of Mira and Zoey. Even though they drew their weapons on her, she couldn't stand the thought of Mira pushing her gok-do through Rumi's chest or Zoey's knives slicing precise and deep.
It had to be Celine, the woman who took her in despite what she is and did everything she could to love Rumi, even if it wasn't enough.
At night, she can still feel the dirt beneath her knees, her sword held out, her mind blank and accepting that it was the only way she could save everyone.
Even though her sword is different now, she hasn't summoned it since that night.
Soft lips against hers grounds Rumi back in the present, and when Mira pulls away, she says, "We lost you for a minute there."
Zoey squeezes tighter. "Focus on us, okay?"
Mira pulls Rumi even closer against her, and Rumi nuzzles into her neck. Usually like this, Zoey's hands would slip under Rumi's sweater, but the most she does right now is slip a hand into the front pocket of Rumi's hoodie as she presses a light kiss to Rumi's shoulder.
Like this, Rumi's thoughts could barely wander, and once she finally stops crying, she feels exhaustion crash over her.
It would be so easy to fall asleep right here, Mira's fingers in her hair and Zoey's weight against her back, and Rumi feels herself start to drift off.
She's jostled a bit, but her eyes stay closed, her breathing stays steady as she's put into a bed and covered up with blankets so soft that she knows she's in Zoey's room. There are some murmurs she can't make out before the bed dips on either side.
Mira pulls Rumi against her again, and Rumi balls a fist into the front of Mira's shirt as she gets comfortable.
"We love you, Rumi," Zoey whispers as she takes the space behind Rumi again.
"We always will," Mira whispers.
Their voices are hazy in Rumi's half-sleep, and she's too deep to respond, but she feels safe here between them. At the end of her mind and senses, she feels them close to her and smells the lavender essential oils Zoey diffuses.
When Rumi wakes up in the morning, still held against Mira with Zoey sprawled out behind her, one leg kicked over Mira and Rumi's twisted together, it's the first night with no nightmares.