Chapter Text
Mort was sleepy. Mort was tired and mama- who now wanted to be called Ms. Megaera- was very loud. She was loud with the way she placed things down and loud how she talked. Mort sat up in his little bed with stars on the blankets and a rocketship pillow. Light filtered in from the hallway, a golden beam that cast itself across the room, across his bed, and onto his face. He looked across the room at Battie, who could sleep through her mother’s loud outbursts. Battie herself was much like her mom, loud and headstrong. Playtime went her way almost all the time, and Mort just went along.
Mort tiptoed across the room, the carpet soft under his feet, careful that the loud voices didn’t turn his way.
“You’re only with me because you like the money!!” Mort identified the voice as his Dada’s, which scared him. His dad never got loud mad, except at Ms. Megaera-Mama. Mort peeked out further, watching the argument from down the hall. Arms were waving fast, and their voices were so loud that little Mort had to cover his sensitive ears. As Mort heard his and Battie’s name thrown around in the mix, he decided the conversation wasn’t worth listening to anymore. He was so sleepy, and his bed seemed so comfortable.
Mort crawled back into bed and laid in his bed with the star sheets and rocket ship pillow. He tucked himself in, as best as a boy could tuck, and curled up, pulling his rocket pillow over his head to try and sleep.
Sleep was patchy, and his dreams turned back and forth from happy parents, snuggling by a fire, to angry parents, fighting and waving their arms and having no care for sleepy little boys in the other room. He dreamed that they were mad with him, he dreamed that they were mad at Battie.
In the later hours, when Thanatos and Megaera went to sleep, Megaera in the bed and Thanatos on the couch, Mort got to sleep. Bad sleep, but quiet sleep.
In the morning, Ms. Megaera-Mama didn’t talk to Mort or his dada, so Battie didn’t either.
“Megaera, leave Mort out of this.” Thanatos pleaded, not wanting poor Mort to get involved, but she ignored him. All morning.
Mort ate his cereal and drank his juice, and let his Dada dress him, giving him a smile after he finished. He didn’t protest as he was buckled into one car, and Battie into another. It was normal, by then.
The drive was calming, Mort was still sleepy from the night before, he stared at his Dada’s hands on the wheel, the same hands that flew through the air angrily last night. But still, the same hands that smoothed his hair and rubbed his back. The same arms that gave him hugs. The same Dada.
Thanatos walked Mort up to his preschool, giving him goodbye kisses, as if it was enough comfort to save him from what happened the night before. But Mort walked into his classroom bravely, hanging his backpack up on the hook, and when he turned back to the door to tell his dada about his sleep, he had vanished from the doorway.
…
Thanatos knew it from the way his son looked, the way he responded, that his boy was tired.The argument the previous night had gotten loud and ugly, and Thanatos should have made sure that it was kept quiet. But when he returned home, quiet wasn’t anywhere in the picture. Megara got going about the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing after that, and Thanatos shocked himself with what he said next.
“If you want a divorce, fine. Let’s get one. You have the forms, let’s plan it out.” Thanatos said. “I’ll move in with my mom or my brother, and we wait out the period for it to be finalized. Then we show up to court.” Thanatos said, picking at his nails.
The color had drained from Megaera’s face as she processed it. A divorce. A legal separation. But that’s what she wanted, no? It’s what she had threatened numerous times, going as far as to get papers. She couldn’t deny it: they didn’t love each other anymore. They hadn’t for a long time.
…
Mort ran outside waiting to see his dada waiting for him, but instead, his grandma was waiting. He walked to her cautiously, taking her hand.
“Hello, darling.” She smiled as she picked him up and put him into his carseat. “Dada’s busy right now, so you’re coming home with Grandma Nyx. Mort nodded gently. Where was Dada?
At Grandma Nyx’s house, not much happened. Mort watched Bluey a little, and watched Sesame Street more. He felt better in the presence of Elmo and Big Bird. He had spaghetti for dinner in fat, short straws, unlike the ones Ms. Megaera-Mama made. When the sky was dark and Mort had already taken his bubble bath, his Dada walked through the door. He was hugged by Grandma Nyx first, and then pushed past uncles to hug Mort. Finally, Mort clung to his Dada and everything was okay. Dada smelled like safety and calm. Dada’s arms were warm and he would hold him all night. Many voices bombarded them from all sides, until Grandma Nyx hushed them and whisked them away, away, away, until it was just Mort and his Dada.
Mort felt as his Dada walked to the black couch and sat, rubbing Mort’s back. Mort was wearing the fuzzy purple pajamas that he always wore at Grandma Nyx’s, even though they were too small.
“How was your day, Mort?” Thanatos asked, his voice more calming than the woosh of the wind outside, more warm than the summer air, twirling and singing its sweet melody outside.
“Good, I learned a new song for red today.” Mort mumbled.
“A new song for red? Can you sing it for me?” Thanatos asked, sitting up so he could see Mort sing it for him.
“Uh-Huh.” Mort took a breath. “R-e-d red, R-e-d red, I can spell red, I can spell red! Fire trucks are re-ed. Stop signs are red too-oo. R-e-d. R-e-d.” Mort declared proudly. Thanatos smiled, trying to repeat it.
“R-e-d red, R-e-d red, I can spell red, I can spell red! Fire trucks are re-ed… What else is red?” Thanatos asked, earning a giggle from little Mort.
“Stop signs!” Mort announced.
“Oh, silly me! Stop signs are red too-oo… uh oh. I keep forgetting. Sing it with me?” Thanatos asked, finally happy to see his son’s smile.
“Ok, dada, let’s sing it together.” Mort said, leading him through the song all over again.
…
It was late when Mort finally went to sleep. Even later when he stopped stirring when Thanatos put him in the bed. Thanatos returned to the living room, facing many pairs of eyes. A cup of tea was thrust into his hands, and everyone watched expectantly. Thanatos took some time to watch the tea leaves swirl around in their bag, the spoon moving with the current of the swirling liquid. The cup had a fire truck on it, a red fire truck. Because fire trucks were red, Thanatos laughed to himself. He looked up, meeting the sets of his eyes that belonged to his brothers, his sisters, his mother.
“I’m getting a divorce!” He said proudly, though he had thrown up over the fact earlier. Bile burned his throat more than the heat of the tea, burned with the heavy burden of a divorce, of his choices. Of his failures. He had rehearsed how to tell Mort, but nothing could prepare him for how hard it actually was. To throw that into his child’s happy smile made that bile burn stronger, so he kept his mouth shut. The word divorce felt foreign, something that happened to others but not Thanatos.
But of course, Thanatos. The others looked around, hoping for some sort of clue as to what to say next. Should they celebrate or cry with him? Should they press or place a delicate band-aid over the sensitive wound?
“I’m not mad. I don’t think so. It has been coming for a long time.” Thanatos said, taking his seat and sipping the tea. “I honestly wish I’d chosen sooner, I could’ve spared Mort having to listen to our arguments. I’ve coordinated meetings with the preschool’s counselor. She specializes in early therapy. Maybe he’ll need to talk, I don't know.” Thanatos couldn’t stop talking. “I’m not sure how to tell him, maybe go to the fair? I wouldn’t want to ruin that. Maybe we could go feed the ducks. I don’t know.” Thanato chuckled. “It’s not my stuff or her I’m worried about.” He added. “It’s Mort. It’s always Mort. Marry another single parent, that’ll work out, won’t it?” He chuckled dryly.
Hypnos chewed his lip, while Nemesis swirled her tea. Nyx just listened and all the other siblings did something of that nature.
“Maybe it just comes up when it comes up. You don't need to make an event of telling him.” Hypnos added.
Thanatos thought about it. Maybe he didn’t. Maybe it’d come up the next day, maybe in a month. Thanatos nodded softly.
“Yeah. Yeah, I think so.” He agreed, downing the rest of his tea in one gulp and walking to go brush his teeth.
He brushed his teeth, listening to the methodical sounds of the brush in his mouth, spitting out the toothpaste whenever it got to be too much. He laced floss through his gums, the burning, pulling feeling not unfamiliar that day. He had spent the day researching divorces with Megaera and separating their closet first, then the bed. He let her keep the furniture, he didn’t want the memories.Thanatos had realized that they hadn’t fought nearly as much that day, instead just listening to the heavy sound of silence between them. It wasn’t an eerie silence, just still, as frozen as fish in a pond during winter, just waiting for something to trigger a difference, but nothing did. They got boxes sorted for Thanatos’ items, and he left a lot. Plates, silverware, he didn’t want to eat from them anymore, so he only took the things that didn’t have her written all over them. Battie was picked up by Alecto and Tisiphone, Mort picked up by his Grandma, Nyx. They spent the whole day making boxes and piles, and Thanatos would be back the next day to make more. He rinsed his mouth out and washed his face, groaning at the stress-acne that popped up. People say divorces are traumatic, but it didn’t feel like trauma, more like… release. The sort of release a rock has, tumbling off of the side of a cliff when it finally broke away.
Their first fight had felt more traumatic, their second, their third. By the time they had started happening monthly, something began to shift. The subtle cracking of the rock away from the cliff. Not enough to break unless further provoked, enough to be mended with lots of care, but it wasn’t mended. It was pulled. It was pulled with shallow insults and unnecessary anger. It was pulled by fights when the kids were home. It was pulled by sleeping on the couch. It was pulled by the kids gravitating toward “their” parent again. It was wrenched away when she asked Mort to call her Ms. Megaera.
Thanatos looked in the mirror and realized that Megara hadn’t meant much to him as of late. Battie had always disliked him, so maybe it was for the better. But the only one he cared about in this dilemma, really, was Mort.
Thanatos padded back to the guest room, Charon’s old room, where he spotted Mort sleeping peacefully. He smiled, sliding into bed beside his son, biting his lip as Mort rolled over to face his chest, but staying asleep. He pulled the blanket up and laid on his back, watching the projection of the firefly's glow through the window.