Chapter Text
ROMANCE ON THE SET!? CHAINSAW MAN ACTORS SPOTTED HOLDING HANDS IN PUBLIC
Rising star Touya Denji was seen holding hands with actor and idol ANGEL★ outside an ice cream shop. The two work together in the hit TV show Chainsaw Man and its upcoming movie premiering this winter.
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“Explain.”
“It’s not what it looks like!”
“Explain. Now.” Aki pointed at the article, fuming.
“Yeah! Explain!” Power joined in, more teasing than actually angry. “Why were you with Angel?”
“What the- You know what happened!” Denji hissed at Power. “We were on our way back to the hotel then Angel and I wanted ice cream, remember? We just stopped by an ice cream shop to grab some. That was all!”
“Then why did you hold his hand?” Aki pressed on.
“I was just being careful! He could get lost!”
“Lost? Angel’s an adult.”
“Well, y’know, he’s a small guy. He could get lost in the crowd.” Denji scratched his cheek and chuckled.
Aki pinched the bridge of his nose, exacerbated beyond words. Power giggled next to him.
“Oh, come on, it’s not that big of a deal. Just some bullshit made by tabloids to stir drama and whatnot.” Denji scoffed.
“Yeah, I know, except that we’re in the middle of film promotion. You can get into serious trouble because of this.”
That was worrying, for sure, but Aki was more upset over the other person in the article.
Denji opened his mouth, probably to argue, when his phone buzzed through the jeans pocket. The blonde’s face paled as soon as he saw the contact, but picked it up regardless.
“Hey, Fujimoto-sensei…”
Oh, he’s in trouble, thought Aki. Power seemed to share the sentiment from the worried look on her face.
“You… want to see me?” Denji drew out, eyebrows scrunching. “Why?”
Dear Lord, have mercy on him. Aki closed his eyes.
“Okay, I’ll be there in five. I’m looking forward to meeting you, sensei- Oh, he hung up.” Denji stared at his phone screen, looking rather dazed. Next to Aki, Power was shifting uncomfortably at her spot.
“So…?”
“Uh… I have to meet with Fujimoto-sensei.”
“Is he mad?”
“Hard to tell. He sounded pretty neutral, but you’ll never know.” Denji sighed heavily, pulling himself up to stretch. “Welp, guess I won’t be joining you guys for breakfast. I’ll let you know if I get fired.” He raised two fingers and winked, his tongue poking out playfully.
“Not funny.” Aki grumbled.
When Denji exited the hotel suite and Power went back to her room to change, Aki looked at the article again, squinting harshly at Denji and Angel’s joined hands.
…
“Hm? Where’s Denji?” Reze looked around the table curiously.
“He’s meeting with the director,” answered Power with a mouthful of eggs.
Meanwhile, Aki only stabbed his food absentmindedly.
“Do you think it’s because of the… you know?” Kobeni gestured vaguely in the air, but enough for the whole cast to know what she was referring to.
“Could be.” Arai shrugged. “Angel isn’t here, either.”
Yes, Aki was well aware of the lack of Angel. Normally, he would sit opposite Aki with a plate filled to the brim with sweets and pastries of all kinds. One must wonder how he kept his shape for film roles and idol activities. Aki kind of stopped questioning it after a while, focusing instead on the way Angel chowed them down in one sitting and how his stage name fit him so well.
Every morning during the tour, the Chainsaw Man cast would eat together in a buffet restaurant of the five-star hotel they were staying at. Their director, Fujimoto-sensei, preferred to stay in his suite and ordered room service, only making appearances on very rare occasions. That made breakfast the only time of the day where the whole cast could be together, before the extremely busy schedule ahead to promote the film.
Being such a tight-knit group, Denji and Angel’s absences were very pronounced.
“I hope everything’s okay with them,” said Makima, sounding calm yet worried. “Fujimoto-sensei is a nice person, but he’s very serious about his work. I don’t know how he’ll take this.”
“No way he’s going to fire Denji that easily!” Beam argued. “He’s the Chainsaw Man! He’s the star of the show! Kicking him out is just nonsense!”
“They’ll probably issue a statement or something. Shut down the speculations once and for all. It’s only professional,” Kishibe said composedly, sipping his drink. Everyone else stared in admiration for the veteran actor.
It’s only professional, Aki repeated in his head, munching on his cold food at last. He trusted that the director would do the right thing and put an end to this stupid rumour.
Aside from that, the cast went on with their breakfast easily. Aki found himself relaxed even a little watching Beam and Power race for the last piece of pie. When the meal wrapped up and they returned to their regular schedules, he spotted Denji in the hallway. There was no sign of Angel, and he felt tense again.
“Denji!”
The blond actor turned his head upon the call, though his eyes were faraway, like he’d been pondering. Only when Aki rushed to him with Power in tow did he seem more awake.
“Oh. Hey guys.”
“What did sensei say?” Aki asked immediately.
“Woah, chill. I haven’t even eaten yet!” Denji jolted, followed by the audible gurgle in his stomach.
“What’s the verdict?” Power chimed in from behind. Both of them stared at Denji expectantly, to which the blonde had no choice but to answer.
“I think…” He hesitated. “I think I’m dating Angel now.”
…
“Fake dating.”
Aki blinked a couple more times as if it would make everything make sense. On his side, Angel looked as nonchalant as ever, he might as well just talked about the weather.
“Sorry. I don’t get it.” Aki frowned deeply. “So you and Denji-”
“Are pretending to date.” Angel finished for him. “PR team said it’ll attract more attention to the movie if there’s a dating rumour going on.”
Aki’s eye and mouth twitched from the sheer irony of that statement. They wanted an on-set romance? Angel and Aki were right here. Only that… no one knew. Still, it felt unfair that Angel had to appear like he was dating someone that wasn’t him.
“How do they even allow this? Denji’s, like, 19, and you’re 24.”
“Are you saying I’m old?”
“What? No!”
“Just messing with ya.” Angel giggled, the sound too light for Aki to be mad at. “Yeah, it’s kinda weird. He’s still a kid to me. It’s a shame that I was seen with him instead of with you.”
Aki’s throat constricted, knowing this was partially his fault. The cast had planned to attend an after party of a local film festival, but Aki had retreated last minute to have a meeting with his agent about the result of his latest audition. He’d planned to tell Angel that he’d gotten the role, but had been hit with the tabloid news first thing in the morning.
Had he ignored his agent, he would’ve stayed at the party, with Angel. He would’ve accompanied him to get those damn ice cream and avoided this whole mess.
“Don’t worry. We’ll only need to do this until the promotion ends.” Angel spoke up, cutting off his train of thoughts. “When the hype dies down, so will the rumours. Everyone will forget about it in a month or so.”
“How are you so sure?” asked Aki skeptically.
Angel snorted. “You think I haven’t seen this? Idols do that all the time to promote their music.”
“Have you done it before?”
He shook his head. “I’ve never cared about sales that much. I already know I’m successful.”
“So why are you doing this… now?”
“Staff thinks it’s a good idea, Denji’s okay with it, and I’m just too lazy to argue. Might as well put some drama to my name to spice things up.” Angel snickered. Aki didn’t find it as amusing.
“This is stupid.” He grumbled. “What makes them think this would work?”
“Oh, it works all the time. Fans are just that gullible.”
“That’s not very nice.”
“I never said I was nice, and you know it.” Angel leaned in closer, stopping mere inches from Aki. His breath fanned hotly over Aki’s cheeks, eyelashes fluttering, parted lips almost brushing his. “I think you like it as well.”
Damn it, he did. Blood was already rushing north and south. Angel could be so frustratingly mean and teasing in their relationship, and Aki loved every single bit of it, like how he loved everything about Angel.
They were alone together in Angel’s room. His roommates were nowhere to be seen. If Aki was quick enough, he could bury them under the sheets, fast, daring and exhilarating like all the times they’d snuck around. He could be quick enough, his hand was already on Angel’s knee, making its way up to…
Angel’s phone buzzed before things could escalate.
“Huh.” Angel let out upon checking the homescreen. “Denji just asked me out on a date.”
“What?”
“Fake date.” Angel emphasized. “We’ll probably just walk next to each other somewhere that paparazzi can see.”
“Ah,” was all Aki could respond with. The thought of seeing Angel and Denji in another tabloid article caused bile to rise up his throat.
As if sensing his disdain, Angel wrapped both arms around his neck and brought their lips into a searing kiss. Just for a moment, the weight in his chest was all but gone. Aki’s hands found themselves on Angel’s slender waist, pulling him to his lap, bodies taut against one another.
“Baby,” Angel breathed out, breaking the kiss to hold Aki’s face in his palms. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. Once the promotion is over, everything will go back to normal. It’s not like I’m breaking up with you over this.”
Aki nuzzled into the crook of Angel’s neck, groaning, ashamed of his unreasonable feelings. Why must he be so worked up over a fake relationship? He and Angel weren’t even public to begin with, yet he couldn’t stand seeing him with someone else in a gossip column.
Angel patted him comfortingly, combing delicate fingers through his shoulder-length hair. But before Aki could pull him in closer, Angel pushed himself off, taking warmth with him.
“I need to change so I can meet Denji.” Angel headed to the closet. Aki deflated. “I, uh, you might wanna leave. Beam and Arai can come back any minute now. Try not to get noticed on the way out.”
What Aki really wanted was to take Angel back into his embrace, but he dragged his feet out of the suite as command. The hallway was thankfully empty this morning, Aki made quick strides back to his own suite without anyone suspecting where he’d been.
Entering the unit, he was met with Power lying on the sofa, a stack of paper raised above her face. She seemed to be reciting some quotes in various tones and expressions.
“Practicing your lines?”
“Yup. Got another lead role in an anime.” She waved the script enthusiastically.
“Congratulations,” Aki said as he took off his jacket. “I also passed an audition. They’ll send out the full script next week.”
“Nice! We should celebrate! I’ll tell Denji when he gets back.”
Aki took a quick look around. “Denji’s not here?”
“Yeah, he just left. He’s meeting Angel for the fake dating thing.”
Oh right, that. Good thing Aki played dumb. No one could know that he’d already learned this from Angel.
“I see.” Aki huffed, staying as neutral as he could. He was always good at that. “I’m gonna smoke a bit.”
Power responded with a dismissive thumbs-up. Aki left her be, knowing how seriously she took her voice acting jobs.
Shutting the balcony door, he opened a pack and lit up a cigarette. The morning was chilly yet warm for a winter day, Aki took a deep inhale and enjoyed the view below: of busy streets, sparkling roads, and ocean waves reflecting the sunlight. He was glad to have taken a suite with a balcony facing the beach. Denji and Power really appreciated it. So was Angel when he visited.
Cool breeze brushed his face like gentle kisses. Aki imagined what it would look like when the same wind moved through Angel’s hair. His long red hair would dance along the wind like lambent fire, his bangs would stick to his face and get caught in his mouth, which Angel would have to spit out. Aki thought of threading the soft, messy strands between his fingers, pushing them behind Angel’s ear because he was too lazy to tie his hair back. He pictured the look on Angel’s face when he did so, doe-eyed and rosy cheeks looking no less like his namesake.
But it wasn’t Aki who would be witnessing the gorgeous sight. That would be Denji, who was at Angel’s side, doing the bare minimum to convince everyone they were a couple.
The film promotion would end in a month. Just one month of this fake-dating bullshit and all would be good. Aki could handle it. He told himself he could.
Aki took a deeper inhale of the cigarette and let his mind drift. Unsurprisingly, it led him back to Angel.
_________________
Three years ago
It began with Chainsaw Man season 1.
Newbie actor Hayakawa Aki just landed his first main role. A devil hunter by the name of Shougo, whose main characteristics were hating devils and being a brother figure to two of them. They did say Aki had the look of a cold, brooding shounen rival, which he wasn’t sure if it was a compliment. Regardless, a role was a role. And like everything he’d been doing his whole life, he spent days on end doing extensive research, analysis, buying every manga volume (which he came to enjoy). He even grew his hair out long enough to form a topknot.
That was also where he met two of the best people in the world. His best friends. They hit it off so well that they became roommates several months into filming.
Denji was a newbie actor just like him. Even newer than Aki, Chainsaw Man was his first role. He’d been a huge fan of the manga and wished to become Chainsaw Man himself, even building a shrine in his room and praying to it for the success of his audition. It might explain why he was the most dedicated among the cast, always giving his best, going as far as doing his own stunt in gory action sequences. He was also a very sweet and friendly guy. With both of them being rookie actors, Aki felt less lonely with his presence.
Power, on the other hand, started out as a voice actress, having appeared in numerous anime and games. Yet, Chainsaw Man was her first film role, so she was shy when they’d first met on set and struggled to act in front of the camera. It only took a few weeks, with guidance from other actors, to bring Power out of her shell. She soon disappeared into her role and became just as chaotic as her devil character.
The three of them were among the core main cast. There was also Makima, a well-known actress, whose chilling, villainous Chainsaw Man character was the opposite of the sweet love interest archetype she usually played. And she nailed it to a tee, even the director was afraid of looking her in the eyes. While they weren’t as close, Aki had a lot of respect for her.
Upon episode 5, the cast expanded. Aki recognized Himeno as the protagonist of his childhood favourite TV show. Working alongside her, even in only a few episodes, felt like a dream come true. Kobeni was also new to the industry, whose shyness matched that of her character. Arai had a lot of experience, and was so well-liked that he remained in the show even after his character was killed off - by portraying a new character with a mask on. Kishibe, dubbed the Mads Mikkelsen of Japanese actors, whose presence attracted intimidation and admiration all over the set. Aki realized how big of a deal this show was when he was also here.
While filming episode 10, the cast was informed of new actors arriving for episode 11. They also had the chance to look through the cast list, consisting of names Aki recognized and some that he didn’t.
And there was Angel. An idol.
Aki only learned this because Denji, an idol fanboy, gushed about the casting. He showed Aki and Power his CD collections and played all of Angel’s songs on their TV. His music wasn’t quite Aki’s cup of tea, but he was nice to look at. Angel, stylized as ANGEL★, was quite a phenomenon in the idol industry, at least according to Denji.
He also learned that Angel did have acting credits. Quite a few, even, as a child actor before switching to music. Chainsaw Man was his first film role after many years. The revelation sparked Aki’s curiosity more than any other cast member had.
Having read the manga, though, he couldn’t wrap his mind around this bubbly idol with the name Angel portraying a cynical, apathetic devil. There was too much of a gap between the two images.
That was, until he actually met Angel.
As it turned out, the real Angel was far from the perky idol hopping around the stage with brightly coloured outfits. The real Angel was timid, quiet, whose speaking voice was at a much lower register than his singing. The real Angel had a perpetually bored face and was dismissive of Aki during rehearsals. The real Angel could get so hyper-focused on the script that he remembered everyone else’s lines in one reading - either from natural talent or the result of him having to memorize his songs.
The real Angel was also much prettier in-person.
When his hair wasn’t in elaborate braids and buns with glitter all over its place, he let it loose, down past his shoulders and stuck out at every angle. His long bangs always fell on his face and he would blow it out from time to time. Angel showed up to set everyday looking like he just woke up, droopy eyes and pale skin glistening under fluorescent light. It was almost baffling how that and the guy who posed cutely for album covers were the same person.
The most surprising part was how the look perfectly aligned with his character. The second most surprising part was Aki finding it really cute.
He’d seen idols on TV before, feeling as though he was watching a persona rather than a person. ANGEL★ was no exception, from what Aki had seen, and perhaps it was why the real Angel was fascinating. He was a walking contradiction, lazy yet good at his job, appeared as though he didn’t care but would stay backstage mouthing Aki’s line when he forgot. What was the word for it? Gap moe? Except that Angel went the opposite direction.
Denji and Power teased that he was developing a crush on Angel. A claim that he denied, until that one night.
Between the trio, Aki was the only one that owned a car, which he used to drive them in and out of work. There were days when their schedules were aligned and all three of them could be together, while some days had Denji or Power, or both, busy, in which they opted for public transit. Then, on occasions, Angel accompanied them, simply because he couldn’t bother with getting his own car. Which Aki was okay with, his car had plenty of space. All he had to do was go an extra mile to drop Angel off first.
One day, both Denji and Power were occupied, leaving Aki driving home alone with a carpooling Angel. His best friends already got new job offers whilst filming Chainsaw Man. Aki himself hadn’t been that lucky, but he acknowledged it would take time to build his career. For now, he was enjoying it when his schedule was relatively free.
“Wanna stay at my place for a bit?”
The question popped suddenly just when Aki parked before Angel’s front door. He turned his head to meet Angel’s eyes already staring back at him.
“Pardon me?”
“I said, wanna stay at my place for a bit?” Angel repeated casually. “Maybe have some drinks?”
Aki kept his stare, unsure if he was hearing it right. Aside from a few scenes together, they barely talked in or outside of work. Not even when they hitched a ride together.
“Why?”
“Just paying you back for driving me home.” Angel shrugged.
If that was all there was, Aki didn’t mind. But…
He’s seen far enough to know where this could potentially go. A couple of drinks, some drunken flirts. One thing led to another and he’d end up in Angel’s bed. Despite his attraction, Aki wished not to engage in that kind of relationship with a colleague. Actors hooked up with each other all the time, he knew, but no dating co-workers was a code he followed strictly.
“Relax, I’m not propositioning you.”
Aki jolted. “What?”
“I’m not gonna sleep with you, if that’s where your mind is going.” Angel deadpanned with a hint of a smirk. “We’ll have some soda and maybe put on a movie or something.”
Angel didn’t seem like the type to lie - maybe even too brutally honest - but Aki needed to be careful. Digging his hands on the steering wheel, he remained seated.
“I appreciate it, but I’m good. You don’t have to pay me back, I just like to help a colleague,” he answered as politely as he could.
“Come on, are you gonna deny an invitation from your senior?”
“You’re not that much older than me.”
“But I debuted earlier, that makes me your senior.” Angel tapped on Aki’s shoulder. “Come on. My treat.”
Aki planted his feet on the ground.
“Oh well, whatever.” Angel unfastened the seatbelt. “Thanks for the ride, again. I’ll see you tomorrow on set.”
Angel exited the car, Aki’s eyes followed his steps. He just needed to make sure Angel entered his house safe and sound, then he’d be on his way. Pretend that earlier interaction never happened.
He found himself on Angel’s couch instead.
“You want iced tea or orange soda?” Angel called from the kitchen.
“Do you have anything better?”
“No. I’m broke.”
Aki glanced around the very spacious living room, enough to contain a linen sofa, two armchairs, a chic coffee table, large TV with consoles and DVD player, and a shelf full of books, manga, CDs and video games. Lots of video games.
Broke, my ass.
“Orange soda it is,” said Angel as he walked towards the living room, a can of soda in each hand. He set them down on the coffee table and turned on the TV to adjust the setting. “Any preference for movies?”
“I’ll watch whatever you like,” Aki answered absentmindedly, more interested in Angel’s intention than watching a particular movie. He observed as Angel scoured through different genres before stopping at one.
“Are you okay with a horror film?”
“I’m good. What are you gonna pick?”
“Scream. The fifth one.”
“There’s a fifth one?”
“Hm.” Angel hummed, plopping down the other end of the couch, away from Aki. Even with the significant distance, Aki remained alert.
The movie had been playing for 20 minutes when Aki realized he wasn’t paying attention. Ever so often did his eyes drift to Angel, watching how his head propped up in his hand, his eyes glued to the screen, small droplets of orange liquid escaped his mouth when he sipped on it, trailing down his chin and neck. Aki itched to run his finger on the expanse of skin and wipe the soda off.
He gripped his can tighter, disgusted with himself. Bold of him to think Angel had an ulterior motive when he was the one ogling the idol.
To distract himself, he started small talk.
“Do you live here by yourself?”
“Yeah,” answered Angel after another sip. “My brother used to live here, too, he moved out after getting married. Took the car with him. That jerk.” He grumbled the last part.
Aki squinted. “Then how do you go to work?”
“I take the train.”
“Why don’t you do the same when you go home?”
“No way I’m using public transport alone at night. It’s shady as hell.”
That, Aki could get behind. Whenever Denji or Power’s work ended late at night, he always insisted on picking them up. They were still teenagers, after all, no one could tell what would’ve happened if they were out alone in the dark.
“So that’s why you carpool with us.”
“Do you mind?”
“If I did, I would’ve told you.”
Angel glanced at him, a small smile curling at the corner of his lips. “You’re a nice guy, Hayakawa.”
Hayakawa. Angel still referred to him by his surname. Goes to show that there was still a gap between them, one Aki wasn’t sure if he could breach. He reminded himself once again that Angel was only a co-worker whose real name he didn’t even know, because Angel insisted on everyone calling him by his stage name for some reason.
Aki took another look around the living space, eyeing the owner’s extensive collections on the shelf - no Chainsaw Man, though. Briefly, he wondered if Angel had anyone to share them with since his brother had left. The question was blurted before Aki could take it back.
“Does it get lonely living here by yourself?”
To his immense relief, the idol only lowered his drink and shrugged. “Not really, I don’t think about it much. I’m super busy during the day and just go straight to bed when I get home. I quite enjoy the solitude, I get to do whatever I want without anyone bothering me. I also don’t like having people over other than my brother.”
Aki frowned. “But you insisted on me staying over.”
“I know. I just want to.”
“Why?”
Angel’s red eyes looked him over, his eyelids lowered, thick lashes fluttered. “‘Cause you’re hot.”
If Aki was drinking, he would’ve choked by now.
“Hah. You should’ve seen the look on your face.” Angel pointed, grinning cheekily. “Is this your first time being complimented by a cute idol?”
Aki clicked his tongue. “There’s nothing cute about you.”
“If that’s true, you wouldn’t be blushing.”
Angel wasn’t even bluffing. Aki’s face was so hot, his skin could evaporate. He could do nothing but hide his face in his palm, fuming, staring at the screen showing a movie he’d lost the plot of rather than Angel’s face for the rest of its run.
It was late into the night when the credit finally rolled. Angel threw away the empty cans before walking Aki to his car. Aki checked the time, Denji and Power might have been home by now. He would have to think of an explanation for why he returned late without sounding suspicious.
“Thanks for staying, by the way,” whispered Angel just as Aki opened the car door. The latter could just nod and get going, but he was frozen in place, blue eyes locked with Angel’s ruby ones. Had Angel’s eyes always been so gorgeous?
“I- I should thank you, for treating me with movies and stuff. Even though you didn’t have to.” Aki cleared his throat, hoping he wasn’t sounding flustered.
Angel gave him a small smile. Not the fake idol smile, not the mean teasing smile, but a real, genuine smile, perhaps the most beautiful thing Aki had never seen in his life. How he wanted to capture it like a photo and have the image forever ingrained in his mind.
“If you like, you can come over again. I can put on a better movie.” Angel suggested.
“That’d be nice. Maybe when Denji and Power are busy again.”
“Hm? Can’t they also come over?”
Aki struggled to find an answer. Saying I want to be alone with you would be really creepy, wouldn’t it? Luckily, Angel filled in for him.
“To be honest, they’re a bit chaotic for me. I prefer my space quiet. Don’t tell them I said that.”
“My lips are sealed.”
They stood there for a moment longer, shifting on their spot, both unwilling to move. Despite having been on screen together, Aki just now noticed how small Angel was, only reaching his shoulder. If he lowered his head a little, he could place his lips squarely on Angel’s head.
Aki was truly out of his mind.
“I’ll see you tomorrow at work.”
Angel’s abrupt goodbye snapped him out of the reverie. Right, work. He and Angel were co-workers. That was it, nothing more. Aki did not want more.
“I’ll see you, too.”
That should be it, an end to this strange night. He could finally go home and forget about all of this. They would meet again on set with everything pretty much the same.
Then Angel stood on tip-toes and kissed Aki on the cheek. Aki swore his brain malfunctioned.
…
There was definitely a shift in their dynamic.
He could feel it in the way they snuck glances at each other across the room, the way they fumbled their lines more when rehearsing together, the way their focus was on the other instead of the camera when only one of them was being filmed.
The way Aki’s heart raced when Angel did as much as breathe near him.
Aki’s fate was practically sealed the moment Angel’s lips graced his cheek. Every morning, he prayed Denji and Power would be busy later in the day, so busy that he got to be alone with Angel on the ride home.
Those moments were few and far between. But when it happened, Aki made sure to cherish every second of it.
They would watch another movie, or listen to music, or play video games - which Angel was insanely good at. Aki learned of Angel’s favourite ice cream flavour, that he preferred classic rock over J-pop, that he enjoyed shoujo manga (hence why he still hadn’t read Chainsaw Man) and liked men who were a little mean. Aki took a mental note of that.
“You know why I keep my hair long?” Angel asked randomly one time, while they were playing a car racing game.
“Um, no,” responded Aki, watching his vehicle fall off a cliff for the fifth time in a single round. He was bound to lose, anyway.
Angel finished the final lap before answering. “I wanted to imitate a video game character.” The idol swiftly turned to him, curling his auburn hair around his finger. “Ring any bells?”
Aki stared, hard, but all he could see was Angel. Breathtaking Angel.
“I’m… not familiar with games. Sorry.”
Angel made a sound like he was offended. Aki stifled a laugh.
“Man, young people these days are so uncultured.”
“We’re only a year apart.”
“Right.” Angel switched off the game. The screen went from ultra colourful to pitch black before Aki’s eyes, making him blink. “I love gaming. I used to role-play as my favourite video game characters with my brother. It got me into acting.”
“Really?” Aki placed the console down to turn his whole body towards Angel. They were sitting at two ends of a couch, so it was normal.
“I joined theatre clubs in middle school, too. Mostly played supporting or background characters. I didn’t like the spotlight, so that was fun.”
Aki smiled. “You seem to really enjoy acting.”
Angel seemed to ponder it, ruby red eyes seeming faraway, looking directly to him but not at him.
“Oh yeah. I kinda like it. It’s a lot of work, but it’s nice.”
“Nicer than being an idol?”
“No, they’re both tiring. Just in different ways.”
“Then why…” The words left Aki’s mouth before he could help it. The question had been itching his brain since he’d first heard of Angel, but didn’t dare to ask. It felt too invasive.
Before him, the idol raised a brow. “You’re asking why I chose to be an idol.”
Not a question, but a statement, and it was on point. Angel could easily read people like scripts. Oftentimes, Aki questioned if Angel had caught on to his gigantic crush on him.
“I didn’t mean to pry.”
“It’s fine, I get that a lot. Well, more like I get asked why I went back to acting.” Angel leaned against the couch, his voice was almost a whisper. “I started out as a child actor, then I was scouted by another agency to become an idol. At some point, it became stressful. I even had to drop out of school. I was later given the choice to stick to one career path. I was having more success as an idol, so I went with it.”
Next to him, Aki only hummed. He’d been fortunate enough to have a relatively normal childhood, only joining acting academy after high school. He couldn’t imagine how it’d been for Angel back then, being thrusted into the spotlight at such an early age, to the point of abandoning school for the sake of performing. Not to mention the long-lasting effect it might have left. It was no wonder why Angel always looked so exhausted off the camera.
But before Aki’s mind could delve too deep into the ethics of placing minors in the entertainment industry, Angel went on. “Now that I can sustain myself, I thought I could give acting another shot. It’s also exhausting as hell, but at least it’s different. I don’t have to smile until my face hurts.”
Aki couldn’t help a small grin twitching on his lips, thinking about how Angel, having spent nearly his whole life building his idol career, chose to be in a show full of grittiness and graphic violence.
“How did you end up in Chainsaw Man?”
“It’s one of the few places that contacted me, that’s all.” Angel shrugged. “Is there something wrong with it?”
“Nothing. It’s quite a bold show for a comeback.”
“You could say that.” Angel chuckled lightly. “I didn’t expect to pass the audition, either. I thought my idol image would ruin it.”
“I’m glad it didn’t.” Aki’s voice was soft when he admitted, “I like seeing you around.”
“Even when I’m nothing like the idol you see on TV?” Angel smirked.
“I’ve always preferred the real you.”
That might have been the boldest thing Aki had ever said to a co-worker. To anyone, even, he’d never been proactive in romantic relationships. Angel just happened to rewire his brain and make him break his own rules. He was a force of nature to be reckoned with.
If Aki hadn’t blushed himself to death already, he would be from Angel’s reaction. Sitting before him, the idol blinked repeatedly, his cheeks blooming a lovely pink hue. He pulled on his bangs, as if trying to hide, crimson eyes barely peeking through lowered eyelids.
Scratch that, Aki had definitely died and flown to heaven, because he was graced with the presence of an angel. Whoever came up with that stage name had definitely been onto something.
Angel shook his head violently like it would throw the blush off. Suddenly, he scooted closer, settling in the middle cushion. Some distance remained, but they were definitely closer than before. Aki shifted in his seat, careful not to brush against the exposed skin of Angel’s legs.
“Enough about me. What got you into acting?”
“Me? Um…” Aki faltered. He rarely spoke about how he’d started acting, not even to Denji and Power. There was a reason for it, and it was called embarrassment.
But, one look into Angel’s eyes drove half the fear away. Angel had revealed that part of his past for him, it was only fair that he did the same.
“Promise you won’t laugh?”
“I literally just came out as a video game nerd.”
Repositioning himself, Aki let out. “I wanted to be a light novel protagonist.”
He expected a giggle, a scowl, a full-blown laugh… anything to indicate what he’d said was stupid. Aki himself felt ridiculous as soon as the words were out.
Instead, he was met with a blank stare.
“Okay.”
“You don’t find it weird?”
“That’s like the most basic reason to be an actor.” Angel deadpanned.
“Oh.” Aki sighed out of relief. “I thought you’re gonna make fun of me.”
“I’ve heard weirder stuff.” Angel shifted slightly closer until they were knee-to-knee. Which Aki was too aware of. “Why light novels, though?”
Aki explained. “I used to read them a lot when I was in junior high. I liked the stories and wished to be the main character. That’s… pretty much it. I know they’re mostly clichés now, but they inspired me.”
When he finished, Angel looked him up and down again. He’d been doing that a lot more recently, Aki noticed.
“Well, you have black hair, for sure, but you look too distinctive.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’ve read plenty of light novels. Watched some adaptations, too. Most of the guys there are so generic. You’re far from it,” he said matter-of-factly. “You’re too attractive.”
There he went again with one of those compliments, unaware of how it affected Aki. His name was Angel yet he was as cruel as the devil he portrayed, leading him on, making his heart burst into shreds.
His feelings were getting harder to ignore. Acknowledging it didn’t make it easier. It wouldn’t be as torturous if it weren’t so hopeless. They were in two different worlds: Aki, an actor at the start of his career; Angel, a famous idol with acting experience.
Chainsaw Man was almost done filming, several scenes to go. Unless the show was renewed, they might not see each other again. Was there a point in pursuing Angel at all?
In the back of Aki’s mind, he wanted to believe there was.
“Can I ask one last thing?”
Angel cocked his head. A signal for him to go.
“Are you gonna keep acting once Chainsaw Man wraps up?”
Angel rose up slightly from his place, seeming surprised by the question. They had a stare down for another second or two before an answer was given.
“I… haven’t thought about it.” Angel admitted. “I still have idol activities going on, but I’ll definitely stay in Chainsaw Man if there’s another season. I haven’t considered taking on other projects.” He bit his lower lip, squinting at Aki. “Why do you ask?”
They’d made it to this point of the conversation, they’d opened up to the other more than necessary. Aki saw no point in hiding anymore.
“I was hoping I still get to see you after this.”
What happened next was the last thing Aki’d expected throughout the whole night.
Angel kissed him.
On the lips.
A first kiss with the person you really liked should be one to savour, to have it committed to memory until the end of days.
But Aki was simply too stunned to even feel Angel’s lips on his before it was over, lasting maybe less than a second.
“Shit.”
That snapped him out of his daze.
“Oh shit. I- Ugh.” Angel ducked his head, his hair flailing about and covering his face entirely. “I fuck up. I’m so sorry. You- You can leave if you want.”
Aki should. He really should. They crossed a big red line as co-workers. From now on, nothing would be the same. At best, it would be awkward as hell between them. At worst, words could get out and their reputations could be on the line.
But the primal, selfish side of him screamed to seize the opportunity, to follow his heart’s desire just for once.
“How about we go out?”
Angel lifted his head, startled. Aki was surprised with himself, too.
“Let’s say, the next time Denji and Power are busy, instead of driving you home, I can take you out to dinner. Or something.”
Or something. Way to go, Hayakawa. Now the jury was out to determine if he should disappear from the face of the earth.
“You don’t mind that I’m your colleague?” Angel brushed his bangs out of his face, confusion clear on his face. “What about your career? You just started.”
Aki had thought about it. Way too much. Torn between rationalities and the need to kiss Angel’s face senseless. Among those thoughts, he’d also found a leeway.
“We can keep this a secret. If it goes nowhere, we can pretend it never happened.”
What am I doing?
Another moment passed without an answer. Angel’s eyes bore onto his, wide and wondrous. Aki waited, bracing for anything, everything, even the cold-blooded rejection to drop on him like a bridge.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah. We can go out.” Angel nodded frantically. “No one has to know.”
Aki nodded. “No one has to know.”
It was how they started.
_________________
Present
Aki woke up to another article that made his eye twitch.
SPARKS FLY!! CHAINSAW MAN CO-STARS SEEN ON A COFFEE SHOP DATE!!!
‘Date’ and it was Angel and Denji sitting next to each other at a coffee table with their drinks.
How this could be called ‘journalism’ was beyond Aki.
“Morning.” Denji yawned as he came to the living room. Aki didn’t turn his phone off fast enough, allowing Denji to take a peek as he walked past him. “Ah, they covered that one. Nice.”
Aki glared. “What’s so nice about being the subject of tabloids?”
“That means the plan worked. Everyone’s buzzin’. I heard ticket sales went up ‘cause of this.” Denji chuckled. “You should check social media. It’s wild in there.”
“I’d rather not.”
The blonde sat next to him on the couch, poking at his shoulder teasingly. “You’re such an old man. Are you sure we’re from the same generation?”
“I still don’t understand why you’re so chill about this.”
“I mean.” Denji grinned cheekily. “Being seen with Angel is kinda dope.”
Aki nearly dropped his phone.
“What?”
“Come on, you know I’ve been a fan of Angel for years. Now everyone thinks I scored him. It’s kinda flattering.”
No. No it wasn’t. Aki hated every single thing he just heard.
“Do you even like Angel? Actually like him?”
“Oh, no,” answered Denji rather quickly. A breath of relief escaped Aki. “I like him as an idol. As a person? Eh, he’s alright.”
Aki wasn’t sure if he should be more relieved that Denji wasn’t at all attracted to Angel, or insulted by how he just said Angel was ‘alright’. Angel was more than ‘alright’. He was a divinity, a work of art, the most beautiful and obnoxious and glorious being Aki had ever laid eyes upon. How could one not like the real Angel?
Then again, Aki would rather not have competitions, even when he was the clear winner.
“I still think this whole thing is ridiculous.” Aki muttered. “You don’t have feelings for him, but you still go through with it.”
“It’s just acting, man. Chill. Think of it like, uh, being in a romance movie. The actors don’t have to like each other to make out or pretend to have sex on screen.”
When Denji put it that way… he couldn’t argue. Both he and Angel had experienced those in their acting careers, in the middle of their relationship. He hadn’t minded, Angel hadn’t minded. This should be no different.
Only… this was real life. There were people out there who thought that Angel and Denji were dating for real. That was what bothered him.
But he couldn’t tell Denji that, could he?
Power emerged from her room, cutting the conversation short. The trio made their way to the breakfast buffet, with Aki mostly trailing behind as Denji and Power rushed to the egg station.
As Aki settled down with his own plate, his eyes met Angel’s across from him. The auburn-haired waved with a half-bitten pastry in hand, a small smile forming on his crumb-covered lips, only for Aki to see.
With just that, everything seemed fine.
For now.