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“Alright Eri, ready to see your surprise?” Mirio asked, barely able to contain his excitement as he and Izuku led the little girl into the 1-A common room, her hands covering her eyes.
“Uh-huh!” she nodded, not sure of what to expect.
“Then open your eyes!”
“They’re open!” she declared, though nothing appeared to change.
“Uh, you can also take your hands off your eyes,” Izuku added.
As soon as she did, she gasped at the sight before her, hardly able to take in all the sights, sounds, and other sensations laid out in the common room. “Oh wow…” Her eyes widened, the sheer beauty of the display almost luring her into a trance. “What is it?”
Both boys’ smiles faltered slightly at that question. “It’s… Christmas, Eri,” Izuku informed her. “It’s the holiday we’ve been telling you about all month.”
“You mean the one where you go to people’s houses and they give you candy?”
“No, that’s Halloween.”
“But you still get candy on this holiday, too!” Mirio pulled out a box of candy canes and handed one to Eri. It didn’t take long for her to start furiously licking the tip, which would no doubt turn the innocent holiday treat into a pointed peppermint spear of untold destruction. “But since this is your first Christmas, why don’t I give you the tour?”
“Oooh, yes!” she nodded, giggling as Mirio lifted her up and placed her on his shoulders.
“This here’s the tree. We decorate it with bright lights, shiny ornaments, and a big star on top!”
“Pretty…” Eri leaned in and stared at her reflection in one of the shiny red baubles.
“And these are the cookies.” Izuku came in with a large tray of freshly-baked sugar cookies. “We leave these out at night so Santa can take them when he comes by.”
“He breaks into our house?” Eri’s joy turned to fear, her posture shrinking slightly. “Is he gonna steal our stuff?”
“Hahaha! No, of course not!” Mirio laughed. “He’s just going to come down our chimney and leave you presents.” He pointed underneath the tree, which had a little toy train circling it.
“Chimney?” The word prompted her to glance around the room in search of one. “We don’t have a chimney. How will Santa visit us now?”
“Uh, well, maybe he could just…” Izuku wasn’t sure what to say, so he leaned over to his friend. “Mirio, what do we do?”
“Don’t worry, I just called Cementoss,” he replied as he stuffed his phone back into his pocket.
“We’ll have a chimney ready by the time he arrives.”
“Yaaaay!” Eri’s mood shot back up, excited about the prospects of receiving presents, as any kid her age would be. “I wonder if Santa will give me a pony!”
“I’m sure he will,” said Mirio, him and Izuku sharing a knowing look. They had gotten her wants down to a tee, and had already sent out a team working to fill that exact request.
———————————————
“Okay, here’s the plan,” Nejire began, pacing back and forth around the room with purpose. “Step one: we get some horse meat. Step two: Tamaki eats the horse meat and turns into a horse. Step three: we put him in a box for Eri to unwrap the next morning. She has a perfect Christmas, and all her trauma disappears. Any questions?”
“Yeah…” Tamaki hesitantly raised his hand. “I have claustrophobia. Can’t we just buy her a horse?”
“Do you know how expensive owning a horse is?” Ochako interjected. “If we’re gonna cure trauma, we might as well do it for cheap.”
“Ochako’s right, but I hear what you’re saying.” Nejire nodded understandably at her friend. “If you don’t wanna be the horse, we can just go with Plan B. Tsuyu?”
With a sigh, the frog girl zipped up her horse costume. “Ribbit, this is going to be a long Christmas. I can tell.”
“It’ll be even longer for me!” said Kirishima, who had the unfortunate honor of drawing the short straw and ending up as the horse’s backside.
———————————————
“So when do I get my presents?” Eri asked, now fully buying into the hype of the holiday season, like any good consumer.
“Well, Santa only comes while you’re asleep, so-”
“OKAYGOODNIGHTBYE!” Eri rushed up to her room, moving faster than Izuku or Mirio had ever seen her. Yes, that included when she was running for her life from Overhaul.
“Well, I guess we'd better get ready for tomorrow morning.” Izuku opened a nearby closet and pulled out all the other presents for Eri.
“Isn’t this exciting?” Mirio rushed over to the tray of cookies and took a bite out of one, making it seem like Santa had been here. “Gotta say, Izuku, this was probably one of your best ideas yet.”
“Oh, I’d hardly call it an idea.” The green-haired boy laid out all the presents underneath the tree. “I’m just celebrating Christmas like they do in America.” And really, why wouldn’t he? America had the best holiday traditions in the world, and he was sure everyone would agree with him on that.
———————————————
Meanwhile, in Ameirca…
“Star, what’s with all these buckets of chicken?” Eathan curiously eyed one of the drumsticks he was given, along with the rest of the squadron.
“It’s how they celebrate the holidays in Japan.” Star & Stripe cheerfully grabbed another bucket from the pile, which she planned to gift to President Rogan (no relation to the actor, despite what the uncanny resemblance would have you believe). “They have the best traditions in the world, and I’m sure everyone will agree with me on that.”
———————————————
“Alright, looks like we have everything set up!” Izuku and Mirio took a step back to admire their hard work.
“We did good, didn’t we.” Mirio reached out for a fist bump, which Izuku happily accepted. “I can already tell this can be the best Christmas ever.”
“Bah! There’s no such thing as a good Christmas,” Bakugo interjected as he walked by. “I just end up with coal every year. The old hag keeps telling me it was Santa, but I know it was her!”
“Same here, and I don’t even know what for,” Mineta agreed, his lack of self-awareness on full display.
“Guys…” Izuku groaned, trying not to have the mood spoiled, but it seemed like Katsuki’s complaint had sent out an open invitation for everyone to bitch about the holidays.
“The bright lights make it hard to sleep,” Aizawa grumbled as he turned over in his sleeping bag.
“Christmas is my least favorite genre of music,” Jiro declared.
“They won’t let me in the lab on Christmas!” ranted Mei, who was in the 1-A dorms for some reason.
“I just hate Class 1-A!” Monoma was there too.
“Okay, that’s enough, everyone.” Mirio cut through the barrage of complaints. “I should probably get going now. I need to bring these two intruders back to their dorms.” He picked up Mei and Monoma in each hand and carried them to the door. “I’ll be back tomorrow to help set everything up.”
“Okay, see you tomorrow, Mirio.” Despite the negativity permeating the common room, Izuku still found himself excited for the holiday. He just couldn’t help but let Eri’s excitement rub off on him. That girl had been through far too much for someone her age, and he owed it to both her and himself to make it the greatest Christmas ever.
———————————————
The next morning, Mirio rushed over to the 1-A dorms bright and early, just like he said he would. He and Izuku had a packed schedule today, and they had so much to do before they could even wake Eri up to open her presents.
Which was why it was so strange that Izuku wasn’t answering the door, no matter how many times he knocked. “Uh, hello?” he shouted, but to no avail. “Izuku? You there? We gotta get started on the ham!” Still nothing. “That’s it, I’m breaking in.” He grabbed the doorknob, ready to tear it off its hinges, only to discover that it had been unlocked the whole time.
Glad he managed to avoid causing property damage, he stepped into the dorms and was met with Izuku, his body unmoving as he faced away from his friend. “There you are. We gotta get those ears of yours checked - I was knocking so hard that…”
He trailed off when he realized Izuku still hadn’t acknowledged him, continuing to stand still with a shellshocked look on his face. “Uh, you okay, buddy? I thought you’d be more excited for-”
Without a word, Izuku grabbed Mirio by the head and turned him to face what he was looking at. It was only then that he realized why Izuku had gone catatonic. “W-Where’d the Christmas tree go?!” he exclaimed. “And the presents? And the lights? And the cookies? And the toy train? And the-”
“I DON’T KNOW!” Izuku broke out of his funk, his mind defaulting to ‘panic’ mode. “I came down here, and it was all gone! Even the uncooked ham, GONE!”
It was then the situation dawned on Mirio, and he forced down a nervous gulp. “It seems like somebody… stole Christmas!” It was just like that book he read as a kid, the one he couldn’t remember the name of.
“What are we gonna do?!” Izuku clutched the sides of his head and pulled at his hair. “If Eri sees this, she’s gonna have the worst Christmas ever!”
“If she sees this,” Mirio reminded him. “We still have some time before she wakes up, don’t we?”
“Y-Yeah…”
“Then we still have time to figure out who stole Christmas, get it back, and fix all of this before she even notices. So what do you say?” He pulled out a detective’s hat and magnifying glass from thin air. “Are you ready to solve this crime with me?”
As much as Izuku wanted to put on a detective’s hat of his own, he found the whole rigamarole unnecessary. “I’m not sure if there’s much of a mystery to solve. Look.” He pointed to the security camera on the ceiling, surveying the area where the Christmas tree used to be.
“Oh yeah, right!” Mirio tossed his magnifying glass away, where it crashed through a nearby window. “We just need to check the tapes and we’ll know who dunnit. Easy!”
———————————————
As it turned out, it was nowhere near as easy as they thought it would be. They managed to extract the footage easily enough, but when they tried to play it, all they were greeted with was static.
“Someone must’ve tampered with the footage,” Izuku concluded. “But the question is, who?”
“That’s a good question.” One which Mirio unfortunately drew a blank on. “The school’s firewall prevents anyone outside the parameters from even attempting to hack into the system, so that narrows down our search a bit. But still… who here has the technical knowledge to mess with UA’s security footage while also having the motivation to want to ruin Christmas?”
As Mirio described the potential culprit, the dots lined up in Izuku’s head, creating a picture of a rather familiar face. “I think I might have an idea…”
———————————————
Suspect #1: Mei Hatsume
“What the-? Hey! Let me outta here!” Mei had no idea how she ended up like this; one minute she was clawing at the doors of the lab, begging to be let in. Next, she was tied to a chair in some kind of interrogation room.
“Sorry, Hatsume, but we can’t do that.” Two figures emerged from the shadowy corner of the room, which she vaguely recognized as Ten Million and the third-year who flashes his ass at people. “Not until you tell us everything you know.”
“Fine, I admit it, I stole twenty pounds of uranium for your latest suit. Now can you let me go?!”
“Wait, what?”
“We’re not talking about that.” Mirio ignored the girl’s confession. “We’re talking about Christmas! The tree! The presents! We know you’re the one who stole them. Fess up now, and you just might get off the naughty list.”
At that, the irritation dissipated on Mei’s face, confusion quickly taking its place. “Presents? Tree? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Likely story.” Izuku did his best to sound intimidating as he leaned on the table placed between himself and the suspect. “Maybe we would’ve believed you if you hadn’t hacked into the security cameras and deleted all the footage.”
“Who said I could hack?” she posited, causing Izuku to blink at her for a moment.
“Wait… you can’t hack?”
“No.” She sounded almost offended at the notion. “Just because I design, build, and program dozens of fully functioning machines all by myself, you think that means I can hack?”
“Yeah, that’s not a nice assumption to make, Izuku,” Mirio agreed with her.
“Y-Yeah? Well…” Izuku didn’t know how to refute that without making an ass of himself, so he just sighed. “Okay, I’m sorry for assuming. I just don’t know who else would be able to mess with the cameras like that.”
“Probably anyone, since I can’t find my Hack Drive.”
Izuku and Mirio shared a confused look before turning back to Mei. “Your what?”
“Okay, it’s not my Hack Drive. I found it in the woods on campus a while ago. I think it belonged to those YouTuber guys who tried to break in during the Culture Festival.”
“How did you know about that?”
“Anyways, it pretty much allows you to hack into anything once you plug it into something. I didn’t see it on my nightstand this morning, so someone probably stole it.”
Mirio felt a sense of dread pool up in his stomach. “So, what you’re saying is that anyone in UA could potentially have a dangerous hacking device, which they could use to cause all sorts of untold damage?”
“Like stealing Christmas!” Izuku exclaimed. “Now we really have to figure out who did this.”
“Well, it wasn’t me, so can you let me go now?” Mei requested, a bit more impatient than usual.
“Yeah, sure.” Mirio effortlessly tore off the ropes binding her to the chair, and she was out of the room before either of them could blink.
“I’M COMING FOR YOU, BABIES! POWER LOADER CAN’T KEEP THE SUPPORT LAB LOCKED FOREVER!”
“Okay, so Hatsume was a bust, but don’t worry,” Mirio handed Izuku a long and extensive list of names, “we still have a lot more leads to follow.”
———————————————
Suspect #2: Katsuki Bakugo
“I’m gonna give you five seconds to explain why you tied me up before I blast both your asses to hell!” Katsuki threatened, though neither of his interrogators were all too scared of him, considering the way he angrily thrashed around in the chair like a caged animal.
“And I’m gonna give you five seconds to explain why you stole Christmas before my friend here really messes you up.” Mirio gestured to Izuku, who froze up like he was put on the spot.
“Uh… I’m not really the type to ‘mess people up.’”
“Come on, Izuku. I heard what you did to Overhaul. I bet you could mess this guy up just as well.”
“I dunno…”
“What? Am I not good enough to get messed up by you?” Katsuki barked, offended that he wasn’t getting messed up right now. “Bet you think you’re hot shit, only messing up Yakuza leaders and serial killers.”
“What? No, of course not. I can mess you up, watch.” Izuku pulled out a Sharpie and began ‘messing up’ Katsuki’s face by drawing all over it.
But in true Katsuki fashion, even though he got exactly what he wanted, he was still pissed. “You son of a bitch! I’ll teach you to mess me up!”
“Just like how you ‘messed up’ Christmas for Eri?” Mirio shifted the subject, getting things back on track.
“I didn’t do anything to your stupid tree! I was in my room all night!”
“Doing what?”
“None of your business…” Try as he might, Katsuki couldn’t hide the tinge of shame in his tone, which only raised Mirio’s suspicion further.
“Izuku, search him.”
“On it.” The green-haired boy reached into Katsuki’s pocket, pulling out a piece of paper that raised both his and Mirio’s eyebrows, and made Katsuku’s face flush red with anger and embarrassment.
“Hey! Don’t you dare read that!” His demands went ignored by the pair, who unfolded it and read it anyways.
“Kacchan… is this a list of good deeds you’ve done in the last year?”
“It’s not a very long list,” Mirio admitted, the only items present being ‘memorized two of my classmates’ names’ and ‘delivered less death threats than usual’.
“SHUT UP! I’m just trying to get the old hag to stop sending me coal every year!” Katsuki shouted, looking five seconds away from bursting a vein.
“I don’t think this is going to work,” Izuku told him as Mirio sadly shook his head. “But you’ve got an alibi, so it looks like you’re clear.”
“Cool. Thanks for wasting my time. Now are you gonna untie me now?”
“Do you promise not to attack us?” Mirio asked, to which Katsuki answered honestly.
“No.”
“I think this is why you’re on the naughty list, Kacchan,” Izuku admitted to his friend.
———————————————
Suspect #3: Minoru Mineta
“C’mon guys, I wouldn’t steal Christmas,” Mineta pleaded to the pair of taller teens. “I’m like three apples tall! How do you expect me to lift an entire tree?”
Izuku and Mirio exchanged glances, neither in the mood to show mercy to the pervert. “Be that as it may, you still have a history of inappropriate behavior, especially around Eri.”
“Don’t you remember? While we were training for our performance for the Culture Festival.” Izuku slid a page of the manga across the table, depicting Mineta and Eri’s first meeting. “You said, and I quote, ‘I’m Mineta! I can’t wait to see what you look like in ten years.’”
Just remembering it made Mirio’s nose crinkle up in disgust. “She’s six, dude. Who says that kinda stuff to a six-year-old?”
“Lies and slander!” Mineta argued. “I didn’t say that to her! It was a mistranslation!”
“Wait, really?” Izuku took another, more skeptical look at the page.
“Yeah! The original line was, and I quote, ‘I’m Mineta! Look me up in ten years.’ Cuz, y’know, I’d be famous by then. I’m not that much of a creep.”
“Oh…” Izuku hummed, feeling a bit guilty. “Sorry for thinking the worst of you.”
“But that doesn’t explain what you were doing last night,” Mirio butted in, to which Mineta put on a cocky, assured grin.
“I’ll have you know I was masturbating last night,” he admitted without a hint of shame. “If you need proof, you can check out my search history.”
“Uh, no. We’re good. We believe you,” Izuku quickly shut that idea down, for even he was not brave enough to scour the unimaginable depths of Mineta’s search history, lest he end up with yet another mental scar.
———————————————
Suspect #4: Neito Monoma
“Alright Monoma, fess up!” The suspect flinched away as Izuku shoved a blinding flashlight in his face, yet his sly smile of superiority never once slipped.
“As if I’d tell a filthy 1-A member like you anything. You’ll never make me talk! Never!”
“If you say so.” Izuku figured he’d get a response like this, so he made sure to take extra precautions before bringing Monoma in for questioning. He pressed a button on the interrogation table, drawing the suspect’s attention to the other side of the room as a television appeared on the wall. “In that case, why don’t we watch some highlights of the first year’s Sports Festival, specifically all the parts where 1-A beat 1-B!”
Monoma reeled back in his seat, shock and horror overtaking his face. “No! You can’t do this to me! STOOOOOOOOOP!”
“Maybe he’s right. Maybe we don’t have to go this far just to get a confession out of him.” Mirio slid up to Monoma in a friendly, good cop-like manner. “Look, I’m from Class 3-B. I’m from the B-side, just like you. Think you might be able to share some secret, Christmas-related plans with your cool upperclassman?”
“Oh, of course! Anything for a former 1-B student.” His demeanor flipped on a dime, regarding Mirio with far more kindness than Izuku had seen him give to anyone else, including his own classmates. “Before you kidnapped me, I was planning on sneaking into the 1-A dorms dressed as Santa and putting coal in everyone’s stockings… except Eri’s.”
“So, you didn’t steal her presents?”
“Of course not. I was also planning on upstaging Class 1-A by giving my classmates far better presents so they’d look less generous and less heroic as a result.”
As nice as that was to hear, Mirio genuinely had to wonder if this guy had a life outside of Class 1-A’s affairs. Based on Izuku’s unsurprised expression upon hearing all this, he could only conclude that he didn’t.
———————————————
Suspect #5: Shota Aizawa
“Of course, it all makes sense.” If Mirio was being honest, he had no idea why he didn’t question Class 1-A’s homeroom teacher sooner. “Who better to sneak around at night and swipe things out from under our noses than an underground hero?”
“Mirio…” Izuku tried to stop him, but he kept rambling on.
“It all lines up; when your favorite sleeping spot was ruined by all the lights and sounds, you had no choice but to take it all away. Only then could you truly feel comfortable inside your sleeping bag, uncaring toward the consequences of your actions.”
“Mirio.”
“I knew underground heroes were intentionally shady, but this is a new low for you, Aizawa. How could you take away Christmas from such a poor, innocent girl like Eri?”
“Mirio!” Izuku yelled, finally getting the boy’s attention. “Did you forget that Mr. Aizawa has been looking after Eri, too?”
“Why would I want to do something that would directly impede her development? I’m the one in charge of helping her train her Quirk,” Aizawa pointed out, sounding far too tired to deal with all this - likely a result of insomnia brought about by all the Christmas lights.
“Oh…” Mirio slowly shrank in on himself in embarrassment.
“Did you seriously forget?” Izuku asked out of genuine curiosity. “He was part of the Shie Hassaikai raid.”
“I got caught up in the moment!”
“Alright then.” Aizawa casually slipped out of his rope bindings and made his way out of the interrogation room. “I’m going to go drown myself in eggnog. Wake me up when it’s New Year’s.”
———————————————
Suspect #6: Kyoka Jiro
“Listen, Jiro, even if it wasn’t you, there’s a good chance you probably heard the real culprit. Do you think you can give us a hand here?”
Despite Izuku’s plea, Jiro continued to be extremely miffed at both him and Mirio. “I’d be a lot more open to helping you if you didn’t kidnap me and tie me up with my own jacks!”
“Sorry, we ran out of rope,” Mirio shrugged apologetically.
“Well, even if I did hear something, you’re not getting it out of me!” With a huff, she turned away from the boys, or at least as far as she could turn in her restraints.
During the silence, Izuku and Mirio glanced at each other, both wearing matching mischievous grins. They didn’t need to say a word to know they had the same devious idea. “One, two, three…” Mirio mouthed, and they both began to sing in annoyingly high-pitched voices.
“Christmas, Christmas time is here.”
“W-What are you doing?” Jiro leaned back in her seat, the horror of the situation quickly dawning on her.
“Time for toys and time for cheer.”
“Cut it out. That’s like, the most annoying song ever.”
“We’ve been good but we can’t last.”
“I said stop it! Seriously!”
“Hurry Christmas, hurry fast.”
“JUST SHUT UP!” She lunged forward to shut their mouths herself, but ended up faceplanting the ground as her chair tipped over.
“Want a plane that loops the loop.”
“Okay, fine! I’ll talk! Just quit it with the Christmas music!”
“Alright, good.” Jiro breathed a sigh of relief when the pair finally dropped the chipmunk-like voices. “Now what did you hear last night?”
“Not much, believe it or not. If there was anyone sneaking around last night, they know a thing or two about keeping quiet.” The interrogators sighed at this information, but she wasn’t done yet. “Thoguh, I did hear a pair of tiny footsteps right before I went to bed.”
“Tiny footsteps, eh?” Mirio cupped his chin in thought. That description shortened their list of suspects drastically. In fact, when it came to tiny individuals with a penchant for causing trouble, there was only one suspect that came to mind.
———————————————
“‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,” Mirio recited the classic poem as he menacingly paced back and forth around the latest suspect. “Not a creature was stirring… EXCEPT FOR A MOUSE!”
Suspect #7: Nezu
“While I appreciate the dramatic introduction, what makes you think that I was the one who stole Eri’s Christmas?” the principal asked, looking surprisingly unbothered by getting kidnapped and tied up by the extra rope they found in the back.
“Why do you do anything?” Izuku posed rhetorically. “For the same reason you keep us all guessing on your species of origin, the same reason you set up a series of hidden tunnels beneath the school, and the same reason you sneak into the cafeteria to steal the cheese even though you own the place; for the sheer chaos of it all.” He slammed his hands on the table, leaning close enough to Nezu that his nose pressed against his snout. “Look me in the eyes and tell me that stealing Christmas is something you wouldn’t do.”
A beat of silence passed before Nezu relented. “Well, I admit, you’ve got me there. Perhaps my usual shtick has become quite predictable over the years. What do you suggest I do to make it fresh again?”
“Maybe you could try gaslighting?” Mirio suggested with a shrug. “If you insisted your species was something completely unrealistic, like a cat, that would create mass confusion across UA.”
“Hmm… a good start indeed.” Nezu effortlessly freed his paws from the ropes and wrote down the idea on a notepad. “It could be a good learning experience as well. Presenting false information would force the students and staff to educate themselves rather than rely on me for everything.”
“You’re changing the subject!” Izuku slammed on the table again, drawing attention back to him. “Did you, or did you not steal Christmas?”
“I did not. In fact, Christmas is my favorite holiday.” Nezu’s vision grew hazy as fond memories flashed through his eyes. “Oh, how I love watching the good being rewarded for their behavior, while the wicked get smited for their misdeeds, the coal symbolizing their cold, hard, blackened hearts. Poetic, is it not?”
“Uh, yeah…” Izuku nodded, only half sure of what he meant. “You can go now, I guess,” he told Nezu, but the moment he looked back at the chair, he was already gone. “Okay, who’s next on our list of suspects?”
“Uh, no one,” Mirio regretfully informed him, alongside a list of names that had all been crossed off. “We’re out of leads.”
“DAMMIT!” Izuku angrily flipped the table a full 360 degrees, where it landed perfectly on its legs. “What are we gonna tell Eri now? That her presents just… got up and ran away?”
“I… don’t know.” Mirio let out a tired groan, sounding just as depressed as Izuku as he slumped onto the interrogation table. “I don’t get how the culprit could just get away with this. I mean, who else even knew about our Christmas plans in the first place?”
“Well, Hado, Tsu, Uraraka, Amajiki, and Kirishima were out, so besides everyone who was in the lounge that night, just you and me.” Izuku blinked, his eyes perking up at those last words. “Just… you and me.”
Whatever thought popped into Izuku’s head seemed to be shared by Mirio, and the pair’s suspicious gazes slowly drifted over to each other.
———————————————
Suspect #8: Izuku Midoriya
“Thought you could get away with it, huh?” Mirio questioned the now tied-up Izuku. “I should’ve suspected you from the start! When I walked into the dorm building this morning, you were only pretending to be shocked that the presents were gone, because you were the one who stole them!”
“Is that what you really think?!” Izuku barked back, his ‘crack conspiracy theorist’ energy matching Mirio’s almost one-for-one.
“Of course that’s what I think!”
“Really? Because you wanna know what I think?!”
———————————————
Suspect #9: Mirio Togata
“I think you’re the real culprit here!” The tables had turned, and now Mirio was the one tied up in the chair, being interrogated by Izuku. “You pretended to leave, then came back to steal Christmas, then came by the next day and pretended to act surprised!”
“That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard!”
“Which is exactly why you’d do it!”
“Oh yeah?” Mirio sent a challenging glare Izuku’s way.
———————————————
Suspect #10: Izuku Midoriya, again
“You’re the crazier one here by like, a mile! I heard you fought Overhaul with Eri strapped to your back!”
“Only after you took a Quirk-destroying bullet for her! If that’s not crazy, I don’t know what is!”
“You seriously can’t be trying to convince me that I’m the crazy one here! I saw all your bone-breaking at the Sports Festival, Izuku. There’s nothing I could do that’d be crazier than that!”
“Not even flashing your butt to the entire audience?”
“That’s not crazy, it’s stupid! Know the difference!”
“Why are we even arguing about this?!”
“I don’t know! I just don’t want Christmas to be ruined for Eri!”
“Me neither!”
“Then why are we yelling?! We want the exact same thing, so why would either of us go out of our way to steal Christmas?!”
“Okay, that’s a good point,” Izuku finally stopped yelling. “I guess we let the suspicion get to us, huh?” He tried to laugh, but it was drowned out by the depressing reality of the situation. “We’re just gonna have to tell her the truth then.”
“Yeah” Miro solemnly nodded, no less happy about this arrangement than Izuku was.
———————————————
“Okay, here we go.” Izuku took a steadying breath as he and Mirio stood outside the door to Eri’s room, which almost seemed to taunt them as they hesitated to enter. The reason why was obvious enough; how could you possibly tell a wide-eyed, excited kid that Christmas would be cancelled, especially if it was their first Christmas ever? “How do we want to do this?”
“We could do the whole ‘Christmas isn’t about presents, it’s about spending time with the people you care about’ thing,” Mirio tried to force a hopeful smile, which didn’t last long. “But she’d probably still be disappointed.”
“She’s gonna be disappointed no matter what we say. Best we can do is try and cushion the impact.” With that, Izuku held his breath as he opened the door, ready to break the unfortunate news to the little girl.
…Only for the words to die in his mouth when he laid eyes on Eri’s room and recognized the bright lights, Christmas tree, and unwrapped presents scattered about.
“Hiiiii!” Eri cheerfully waved from her spot at the tea table she was gifted, with Tsuyu and Kirishima sitting next to her, each dressed up as one half of a horse. “Look! Santa came! And he gave me my pony!”
“Ribbit, yo.”
The pair hardly registered her words, their jaws currently on the floor at the sight before them. “I - uh - Eri?” Mirio stuttered out. “Did - Did you bring all the Christmas stuff up to your room?”
“Uh-huh!” she nodded, not seeing anything wrong with that statement. “I couldn’t sleep last night, so I turned off the cameras and went to see if Santa came, and he did!”
“You know in hindsight, this was kind of obvious,” Izuku muttered.
Eri cocked her head to the side. “Huh?”
“Nothing, nothing, we’re just glad you’re having a good holiday.”
“Yeah! It’s the bestest holiday ever!” Which wasn’t saying much since it was also her first Christmas ever, but she was still enjoying it nonetheless.
“That’s all I needed to hear.” Mirio came over and pulled the three of them into a warm hug, surrounded by all the good vibes of the stolen holiday. “Happy holidays, Eri.”
“Happy Halloween, Mirio.”
“Wrong holiday.”
“Oh yeah. Happy Decemberween.”
“Eh, close enough.”