Chapter Text
The past week has been… weird. Chan knows when something is bothering any of his partners, but he also knows when to push and when to let it go. Recently, though, he can’t seem to get a read on Felix or Han. He can tell both of them are struggling, but he can't quite figure out why. He’s spoken to both Hyunjin and Minho to see if either of them knew anything, but they knew as much as he did, which isn't much.
Felix, his sunshine, seemed to be doing fine, maybe a little tired from their busy schedules, but he’d been okay. Until he wasn’t. He’d gone out with Han and a friend of his and was so happy before and after. But the next day, it was like a switch had been flipped. He was quiet, didn’t leave the dorm much, and even started staying in his own room. All of which is out of the norm for him. He’s always been so bright, lighting up every room, talking to any and everyone, and rarely ever staying in his own room, preferring to cuddle up with at least one of the others.
Then Han, who had been doing so amazingly well for such a long time, seemed to fall back into whatever depths he was in all those years ago around the same time. Like Felix, he's in his own room more often than not, and Chan had heard muffled cries from outside his room last night. When he tried to bring it up, though, Han had shut down, and it was all he could do to get him to stay and eat something before he retreated back into his room.
Chan didn’t know what to do. He's supposed to be the one they can go to, the leader, the glue holding everyone together, but now he felt completely and utterly useless. Before he can spiral further, though, a knock sounds on his door, and it's pushed open to reveal Felix, arms wrapped around his torso and dressed in one of Chan’s hoodies. He simply stood at the door for a moment before taking a sharp inhale and seeming to force himself to enter the room. Felix made his way over to the bed and wrapped himself around Chan, letting out a shaky breath.
“Hey, baby,” Chan whispers as he moves to pull him closer, but stops when he felt Felix tense up.
When his arm drops back to the bed, he feels Felix relax again, but he also feels his body begin shaking and hears small cries leaving his mouth. It takes every ounce of restraint for Chan not to instinctively wrap him in his arms. That wasn’t what Felix wanted right now, and he wouldn’t cross that line until he was told otherwise. He did, however, lay his hand palm up between the two of them, a silent offering of comfort, if he wanted it. Felix’s small cries turned to body-wracking sobs, and he immediately moved to squeeze Chan’s hand like a lifeline, burying his face in his neck.
Chan rubbed his thumb back and forth over his partner’s hand, saying, “I’ve got you, Angel.”
They both lay there in the bed, the only sound Felix’s sobs, and Chan just lets him, knowing he needs this release. He continues the slow motions of this thumb and hums a soft tune, hoping it will help him calm down even a little. Eventually, his sobs turn to sniffles, and soon after that, he goes lax against Chan’s body, like all the fight left his body at once.
After some moments of silence, Chan starts to think he fell asleep, until he hears Felix say something that shatters his heart, “Don’t hate me.”
“I could never hate you, Lix,” He responds softly.
“If you knew…” Felix starts before squeezing his eyes shut and cutting himself off.
“Talk to me. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.”
With his eyes still shut tightly, he responds quietly, “I can’t.”
“Whatever it is, I promise I won’t be upset.”
“No Chan. I can’t.”
In that moment, there’s so much fear and hurt in Felix’s eyes. This is one of those times where Chan can see that’s the honest to god truth. He’s not sure what happened, but whatever it was, Felix literally can’t tell him. This isn’t him choosing to keep this from him. In fact, he can see how much the other wants to tell him about whatever happened, but he also sees the fear and panic about telling him. Those words allow him to realize the gravity of the situation.
“Okay, baby. I believe you. Can you answer three questions for me, though?” Felix looks unsure at first but nods hesitantly before Chan asks, “Are you in danger?”
“Maybe,” Felix answers with a shaky voice.
“Are you safe in this house?” Chan doesn’t want to believe that any of his other partners would have done something, but he has to make sure.
“Yes.”
“Will you tell me if anything else happens?” Chan asks before adding, “You don’t have to give me details, but don’t make yourself suffer alone when you have so many people who love you.”
He can tell it takes every ounce of strength in Felix to not immediately say no, but after a few moments of hesitation, he answers, “I will.”
“Thank you, Angel. You did good, and I’m proud of you for coming to me.”
Felix lets out a sigh and responds with two words, “Hold me.”
“Of course,” Chan answers before tugging Felix so he’s practically lying on top of him and presses a kiss to his hair.
The two of them stay like that until Felix falls asleep and Chan gets stuck in his own head. He knows that between Felix and Han, the former is more likely to share his feelings when they get to be too much. The latter, though, he tends to keep everything to himself until he inevitably implodes. Chan just hopes it won’t get that bad, though, but he also knows that he’ll need help from the remaining five of his partners for all of them to make it through this.
As he’s falling asleep, he realizes that whatever happened to the two of them happened when they were out, meaning they're both spiralling about the same thing and are both potentially in danger. He’ll be damned if the two of them go anywhere without someone until he knows otherwise because that's his job. To protect, to love, and to lead.