Chapter Text
Steven felt the cool air of the greenhouse, the oxygen from Earth’s atmosphere giving his lungs a fresh feeling of relief. He, however, was not relieved. He knew it was horrible, what he had done; something he promised himself he could never do. The shards in his pocket clinked against one another in a crystal symphony, but their music fell on deaf ears. All Steven could hear were her cries, as her body slowly turned into nothing. The cries of a diamond. He felt his sins crawling up his sleeves and worming their way up his spine.
“You’re right Jasper, I have been holding back!”
“Let me help you, Steven.”
He stepped off the warp pad, crumbling to his knees. Steven Universe doesn't kill people. Steven Universe doesn’t shatter gems. But here he was. He clamored to his feet, clutching the shards tight in his fist. He wasn’t about to make another mistake and leave evidence behind. His jacket clung to his free arm, now being a few sizes too small for his frame. He had hardly even realized that he was back in his home by the time he closed the sliding glass door behind him. He barely fit through the frame of the door, having to duck his head in order to fit. Once inside, he collapsed on his bed, the covers melting around him. He stared at his hands. His arms. His feet. He hardly looked like himself anymore. The thought sent a pulsing, reverberating shot through his head. Like a bullet scraping on cold steel. He sat up, the effort making his bed groan in agony. TV static lulled in his mind, making its way from the center of his brain to the outside, and then directing itself towards the physical TV in Steven’s room. The static was mind-numbing, and almost calming compared to the screaming in his mind from earlier. But just as he got used to the static, noises started to come out.
“-because I’m a Universe-!”
“Jasper, I’m sorry- .. please, come back..”
“Too bad.”
He gasped aloud, shocking his mind back into full consciousness. He ran at the TV, slamming his fist into the screen. With a blip, the TV shut off, leaving Steven alone with his reflection. He looked just like her. He looked just like Pink Diamond. He stared into his own eyes, feeling like he was staring into hers. He stumbled back, clutching his gem. His discarded jacket, which still carried the shards of White Diamond, lay next to him, eagerly picking at his mind like a hungry raven.
“No no no no no, this- this isn’t happening- I-.. I didn’t shatter White, I didn’t shatter Jasper, I didn’t fight with dad-”
He gently stood up, staring at his shaking hands and picked up the jacket that lay beside him, slinging it over his shoulder.
“I’m Steven Universe-.. I’m fine. I’m.. fine!!”
His window shattered at his scream, spilling shards of glass about Steven’s floor. A shrill voice could be heard from downstairs, calling out.
“Steven?! Is that you?!”
No.
Oh no.