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  1. *

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    They said the war would be over by Christmas, but two years later Andrew is still in the trenches. Disillusioned and weary, he meets civilian doctor Neil Josten—a man with even more secrets than Andrew himself.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,617
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    390
    Kudos:
    873
    Bookmarks:
    302
    Hits:
    19,804
  2. *

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    Set in an alternate universe where Neil Josten never existed, Nathaniel Wesninski grows up as the crime lord’s son beside Kevin Day, Riko Moriyama and his eventual, inseparable partner Jean Moreau.

    Aka, the raven!Neil au

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,531
    Chapters:
    26/?
    Comments:
    366
    Kudos:
    1,067
    Bookmarks:
    216
    Hits:
    26,433
  3. *

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    Neil really thought that his problems were over, now that his father was dead and most of his people captured. MOST is the key word.

    Minutes before a match with the USC he gets shot. He really doesn't want to ruin it for everyone though, so he thinks, hey, why not play with a bullet in my stomach.

    It does not go as well as expected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,459
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    1,695
    Bookmarks:
    245
    Hits:
    21,069
  4. *

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    Summary

    When Andrew and Neil begin hooking up, their relationship is based on a single, murky agreement; they don't objectify or use one another, but there are to be no real feelings involved, either. It works. At least, until Neil develops feelings too strong for his own good.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,587
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    912
    Bookmarks:
    212
    Hits:
    7,710
  5. 3

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    Summary

    Andrew Minyard is now 20, and it’s been five years since he last heard of Neil Josten—if he was ever real to begin with.
    Maybe Neil was just an illusion, a side effect of a fractured mind, something that lived in the space between nightmares and silence. All that’s left is a diary with a name and a memory too blurred to hold onto.
    Then Kevin says Neil is coming back.
    And in an instant, Andrew's carefully constructed world begins to collapse.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,939
    Chapters:
    7/11
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1,763
  6. 92

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    Summary

    “Baby,” And oh, Nicky was all sad eyes on the sun-kissed skin and dark, wild hair. Gaze full of solicitude and heartbreak, “Life can be hard, I know how hard life can be.”
    And then he said “Déjate querer.”
    Let yourself be loved.

    And Aaron said, “I don’t know how to, Nicky.” And it hurt so bad that both cousins' eyes welled up with tears.

    Or: Aaron Minyard’s daily struggles and pretending feelings are optional.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    102,481
    Chapters:
    18/18
    Comments:
    215
    Kudos:
    471
    Bookmarks:
    92
    Hits:
    13,096
  7. *

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    Summary

    Nathaniel Wessinksi can't go back to the Nest.
    But he can't stay with the foxes either.

    With Riko trying to get Neil back to the Ravens, and back under his thumb, Neil is left with three options. Going back to the Ravens and dying, staying with the Foxes and dying- or running far, far away.

    But Andrew had promised Kevin and Jean to protect him. Annoyingly, Neil- the kleiner Hase- is making it increasingly more and more difficult with each passing hour.

    TLDR: Neil makes a promise to Ichirou that Kevin, Jean, and himself are better investments if they play with the Foxes than with the Ravens. But with time running out and Andrew stopping every one of his escape plans, Neil has until the end of the championships to convince himself and Ichirou he's better off alive.

    DISCLAIMER: this fic is very heavily influenced by Die Free or Die a Failure by Mickey_99 (if you haven't read this fic, it's amazing!) and The Sunshine Court (where Raven Neil goes through the same healing process as Jean.)

    TW: will be mentioned at the start of each chapter, but this is a very trigger heavy fic, please don't read if this you're not in a good place to do so!

    Enjoy :)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    156,104
    Chapters:
    41/41
    Comments:
    180
    Kudos:
    859
    Bookmarks:
    205
    Hits:
    37,745
  8. *

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    Summary

    Andrew met Neil in a park when they were five, hiding in a tunnel in the playground set and immediately the two became inseparable; causing chaos for the adults around them, growing closer and closer as the years trickle by even through trauma and abuse from caregivers and unstable mothers all until one day Neil's unstable mother snatches Neil away for eight years just as everything in Andrew's life shifts- from having a new adoptive mom, to finding his brother and doing everything he can to protect him, to gaining a family that he wants to share with Neil. And after eight years, after thinking that his best friend and only love was dead, Neil comes back into his life easily fitting himself by Andrew's side once again, leaving the two of them to navigate their new developing relationship together alongside their traumas and complex family relationships

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    126,460
    Chapters:
    28/?
    Comments:
    1,177
    Kudos:
    1,553
    Bookmarks:
    310
    Hits:
    43,082
  9. *

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    Summary

    He saw the duffel.
    It was battered all to hell and the strap was nearly torn from the bag, but it still glowed almost neon in the darkening night and streetlamp glare. Neil would never…
    He dropped to his knees beside it and rifled through it, looking for any sign, any clue as to where Neil might have run. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Until his fingers found the keyring. Until he found the phone.

    Andrew's perspective on the Binghamton riot and the walking tragedy that is Neil Josten.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,097
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    285
    Kudos:
    7,627
    Bookmarks:
    1,805
    Hits:
    93,532
  10. 45

    Tags
    Summary

    If Riko Moriyama is Exy's number 1, Kevin Day is number 2.

    But, if Riko Moriyama is King of Exy, Andrew Minyard is the opposing pawn who’s crossed the board to become Queen.

    Andrew has spent far too long denying Riko what he wants and Riko has spent far too long fantasising about the day Andrew finally breaks to leave things as they are. And if you want a job done right, you really do have to do it yourself it seems. So RIko invites Andrew to Evermore for the holidays.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,984
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    199
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    3,300
  11. *

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    Summary

    Of all the night’s events, there were only three things that Nathaniel really remembered clearly: the moments before the riots, being questioned by Lola in the car, and watching his father walk down the stairs to the basement. The last thing Nathaniel could remember was the way the light caught the blade of his father’s axe, blinding and terrifying as it was raised towards the ceiling. He couldn’t remember it coming down but it had to one way or another, right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,611
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    1,112
    Bookmarks:
    194
    Hits:
    10,319
  12. 25

    Tags
    Summary

    Neil is not having a good day. But he can't fall apart, he can't, he needs to hold it together just a bit longer, please God let him hold it together a bit longer---

    (and then he doesn't.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,246
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    316
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    4,518
  13. *

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    Summary

    On a hunch, Andrew feels Neil’s forehead with the back of his hand. “You’re sick.”

    “I’m fine. Leave me alone.” Neil closes his eyes again, pulling the comforter over his head.

    Andrew pulls it back down. “You have a fever.”

    “It’s a cold.” Neil sits up slowly, painstakingly. “I just need some Tylenol and I’ll be good to go.”

    (Spoiler alert: Neil is not fine.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,316
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    1,953
    Bookmarks:
    273
    Hits:
    16,708
  14. 82

    Tags
    Summary

    Neil has his eyes clenched tightly shut, his entire face screwed up, every muscle in his body tense and taught with a herculean effort to stop shaking. He was shaking when he woke up, he was shaking when he stumbled his way out of bed into the bathroom, but he swears he almost shook all the way apart when he caught his own reflection in the mirror.

    Dead eyes stared back at him.

    or:

    Neil has a nightmare and, despite his best efforts to handle it on his own, Andrew is there.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,825
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    530
    Bookmarks:
    82
    Hits:
    5,634
  15. 51

    Tags
    Summary

    Neil is sick on New Year's eve, wakes up to the fireworks, and continues to have a panic attack about his time on the run.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,580
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    569
    Bookmarks:
    51
    Hits:
    4,473
  16. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Habits never die that easily and lying by omission has always been the easiest way to lie.
    So how would anyone know to ask the right questions, if Neil never said anything.

    Who knew an argument with Aaron could start a chain off events, forcing Neil to unravel the cold reality of what happened at the nest.
    ***
    Or Riko taking things too far that winter break and Neil never telling a soul…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,737
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    96
    Kudos:
    1,827
    Bookmarks:
    237
    Hits:
    21,730
  17. 32

    Tags
    Summary

    It’s close to 1 am on New Year's when Neil finally decides he’s had enough of his neighbors’ backyard fireworks extravaganza and goes over to give them a piece of his mind - or fists, if necessary. However, the confrontation doesn't go quite like he expects it to once he meets the neighbors...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,957
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    321
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    1,694
  18. 88

    Tags
    Summary

    _
    Nathaniel wakes and goes to get milk in the middle of the night, not wanting to piss off his father for using the last bit of it. At the Corner Store, he sees Andrew and the Monsters. He knew who they were from afar, but hoped Kevin Day wouldn't recognize him from years ago. He hoped to never see them again - being too close to his dreams felt suffocating.

    His mother died in Seattle, and his father took him back to raise The Next Butcher of Baltimore under Kengo's orders.

    Of course, Kevin recognizes him, and Andrew learns who these Baltimore men are, making Neil his new special interest project for a short while. Or what he thinks to be a short while...

    Soon, Kengo changes his mind and places Nathaneil Wesninski elsewhere, and Nathaniel finds himself in the nest - becoming Jeans Moreau's new partner and Riko Moriyama's new leash.

    This is a slow meet slow burn, idk how many chapters. It's also Raven!Neil
    (Check notes for updates, time frames, etc.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    60,339
    Chapters:
    45/?
    Comments:
    168
    Kudos:
    495
    Bookmarks:
    88
    Hits:
    17,317
  19. 82

    Tags
    Summary

    Neil’s arms grow weak, shaky. His defence is penetrated and he's stuck- standing over the edge of oblivion.
    Andrew pulls him back, takes the fight from his hands with blood stained knuckles. He holds it steady, unprogressive, until Neil can reclaim it.
    Because he knows by the time his own arms grow weak and tired, Neil will be there to take it for him too.

    OR

    Neil’s attempt, and the aftermath.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,002
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    720
    Bookmarks:
    82
    Hits:
    7,442
  20. 63

    Tags
    Summary

    It's always been there, this thing he has with food. His- issues.
    It just never had time to fester into whatever this is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,791
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    605
    Bookmarks:
    63
    Hits:
    8,594

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