eunoise
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Recent works
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stated to be possible and very probably wrong by eunoise
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
06 Jun 2026
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Summary
When Grace dies - of old age, surrounded by his loved ones in his biodome on Erid - Rocky bumps their carapace against Grace's head, picks up their bag of supplies, and begins their trek down into the Underworld.
Or: orpheus weak bitch, rocky built different (or maybe the tragedy is that the story always ends the same way because every story ends this way, eventually. it does not matter if there are gods and magic, all things must end because all things must begin anew.
or maybe orpheus is a weak bitch and rocky is built different)
Series
- Part 3 of grace's three laws of eridian magic
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the only way to discover the possible and impossible by eunoise
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
04 Jun 2026
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Summary
“This is a spell to make things explode, question?” Rocky asks and Grace has to resist the urge to bow his head like he’s being scolded by his grandmother. “And you are using astrophage? Astrophage already makes things explode. You do not need magic to do that. You do not need this spell.”
“Well, it’s not the spell itself that’s important,” Grace lies, marking out distances to make sure everyone stays clear of the expected blast radius. “It’s a proof of concept really. I wanted to see if I could substitute spell components with astrophage. I think some people back on Earth were working on that, but all the astrophage we could make went to the Hail Mary so it was mostly theoretical.”
“Right. And there’s no other spell that you could try to use astrophage?”
Honestly, Grace could probably try to use this for Dancing Lights. “Nope.”
so life on erid if pretty sweet and grace has thrown himself into both his scientific and magical studies in ways that will cause perhaps several intergalactic incidents
featuring: misty step, fireball, feather fall, polymorph, laika the fox familiar, the Sacred Thrum, and more!
Series
- Part 2 of grace's three laws of eridian magic
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any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science by eunoise
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
30 May 2026
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Summary
Grace and Rocky are about three months into their trip to Erid when Grace is looking through the Hail Mary's manifest and wondering why on Earth they had packed, like, hundreds of caterpillar cocoons and one pound of bird feathers and remembers that he's a wizard.
so magic is real and so are aliens, which is about as believable as space radiation, visible light, and the theory of relativity (and, somehow, the story of mary poppins, grace's favorite documentary)
Series
- Part 1 of grace's three laws of eridian magic
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Summary
Luca Haas can't believe this is his life. Not only has he achieved his childhood dream of being a professional hockey player, he's achieved his OTHER lifelong dream of playing on the same team as Ilya Rozanov. The Hollanov of it all is just icing on the cake. The only thing that could make his life better, according to his mother, is his one true love. Luca, on the other hand, would like to stop feeling like someone's going to shoot him in the head if he doesn't achieve literally anything of note while he's on the same team as the first husbands of hockey.
Last year, Theo Torres dragged the New Jersey Angels kicking and screaming to playoffs and everyone's looking to see if he can do it again. He's wonders the same thing as he dodges calls from his overbearing family. After a rocky first meeting with Luca Haas after stupidly admitting he had slept with Mr. Number Two's twin sister, he and Luca begin something that's going to end sooner or later so he'll enjoy himself while it lasts.
After circumstances neither of them care to recall, the two of them have to pretend to be in love while they barely even like each other. No really. It's just sex. Why are you looking at them like that?
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Summary
Scott! Ilya cheers. On the TV, Captain America rips his mouth off of his boyfriend’s and slaps his hand to his face. Congratulations on the homosexuality! But you cannot have sex on national television. Think of the children! Or is this new PSA? A PDA PSA?
I hate you.
So mean. I am just trying to give you my heartfelt support.
What do you want, Rozanov?
Well, you have been glaring at nothing in silence for the past minute, so I would like you to finish whatever speech you had prepared before everyone thinks your boyfriend sucked your brain out of your mouth.
“Shit,” Captain America says aloud on television.
or: in the alternate universe where scott hunter is captain america and kip grady is the winter soldier, ilya rozanov is charles xavier and shane hollander is magneto. they fall in love.
Recent series
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grace's three laws of eridian magic by eunoise
Fandom Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
07 Jun 2026
Summary
magic is real and so are aliens and so it the power of friendship! titles come from clarke's three laws
- Words:
- 18,689
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 70
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Summary
okay fine homoverse toxic yaoi got me i lost the chess game to the dog etc etc.
i don't know why i named everything after thats amore. before i started publishing this i didn't realize that it had other lyrics besides the pizza thing
- Words:
- 17,203
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 121
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i want to scream i love you from the top of my lungs by eunoise
Fandom Heated Rivalry (TV)
02 Jan 2026
Summary
any heated rivalry stuff i write goes here i guess. i might have made them all a little too silly but im having a great time.
- Words:
- 8,345
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 370
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Summary
au where gemma was pregnant when she was taken by lumon aka what if there was a severed baby would that be fucked up or what?
(some character studies revolving around the show's themes regarding parenthood, birth, and personhood with some vague plot going on in the background and a toddler who is definitely way more articulate than she's supposed to be )
- Words:
- 16,998
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 10
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Summary
dead boy detectives has bewitched me body and soul so lets see where this goes. all of these fics roughly take place in the same timeline but they can be read standalone no problem.
- Words:
- 34,549
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 34
Recent bookmarks
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I Think I Love You (So What Am I So Afraid Of?) by CastorTheGhost
Fandoms: The Nice Guys (2016)
12 May 2026
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Summary
Jackson Healy is not a family man, nor is he a relationship man. He learned that one the hard way after the divorce.
So, can someone tell him why he’s standing at the cash register of a dollar store, watching Holland March fiddle with his wallet with a giant poster board under his armpit, while a pile of markers of all colors and stationery sits on the conveyor belt? Though he supposes that’s another one of life’s great mysteries, and something he’ll wake up every morning asking himself.
Bookmarked by eunoise
16 Jun 2026
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Summary
A few weeks after starting the Nice Guys agency March gets drunk, Healy gets a strange inkling, and Holly watches The Parent Trap.
Not for the first time, Jackson wonders why he agreed to this partnership. But there’s something he can’t quite put his finger on, something about the soft, hapless, helpless way March loves his daughter and knows what a screwup he is, that makes something funny happen inside Jackson’s chest. He hasn’t eaten yet today but it feels almost like his stomach is twisting, like he’s about to do something stupid and completely out of his own control even though Jackson Healy has always prided himself on how well he keeps himself under control.
Not food poisoning, Jackson thinks. March poisoning.
Bookmarked by eunoise
08 Jun 2026
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Summary
“Maybe ‘cause I’m a fuckup, and I’m- I’m a bad fucking detective, and a bad fucking dad, and a shitty person, okay, Healy? And-”
Healy’s hand was at his throat, now, just barely applying the faintest hint of pressure with his thumb pressed into his Adam's apple. March’s eyelashes fluttered.
Healy’s eyes were serious, genuine- “Jus’ start by being good for me, okay?”
Bookmarked by eunoise
31 May 2026
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please do not feed the animals by Goldmonger
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary (2026)
26 Apr 2026
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Summary
“Hold still, lovely alien,” the Eridian croons, snapping a claw closed around the hem of my cardigan. “♫♬♩ will be so gentle, yes.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,359
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 238
- Kudos:
- 5,928
- Bookmarks:
- 1,328
- Hits:
- 25,142
Bookmarked by eunoise
17 May 2026
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The Astrobiology Immersion Program by startingatmidnight
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
10 May 2026
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Summary
It's not every day you wake up with five arms and no eyes, but Ryland Grace stopped having normal days a very long time ago.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 48,280
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 2,559
- Kudos:
- 10,213
- Bookmarks:
- 3,316
- Hits:
- 103,574
Bookmarked by eunoise
16 May 2026