1 - 20 of 36 Works by sunsphere
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“Seungkwan,” He says, small and hesitant, as if he knows this isn’t something he has the right to say. “I missed you, you know?”Me too, Seungkwan wants to say, but there’s a tar pit in his heart, and the ocean is threatening to eat him.
“No,” He replies, no bite in his tone. “How could I have known?”
The world is all the more kinder for letting us meet again.
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“Hansol...” Seungkwan’s voice booms out only to trail off, and he sighs before calling for a break. Hansol’s expression off-camera turns sour, stressed. At the sight of it, Seungkwan feels just a little bit regretful, but this is something Hansol has to hear, no matter how harsh. “Come here.”There are steps in falling in love.
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Sometimes, Hansol swears he feels as though he’s born to love Seungkwan.
The sound of your guts.
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“Shut up,” Hansol whines, “They’re all joking that I lost the joust in the third set because I was too distracted by your legs.”
Hansol knows the opposing team's star rookie very, very well.
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Ah, shit, Vernon thinks. He's really pretty.
Some enchanted evening, idol rapper Chwe Vernon meets jazz singer Boo Seungkwan.
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Ten years since he left Jeju, and Seungkwan still feels like the ocean.
"You've never dated anyone else?"
Snip snip.
"I did," Seungkwan doesn't look up, and Hansol stares at him. "Once. We went out for, let's see...three years?"
"Ah."
His neck is warm. There's a belated, volatile feeling of shame at the pit of his stomach, and Hansol tries to reconcile the knowledge in his head. Suddenly, the ring imprint makes sense.
Seungkwan gives Hansol a haircut.
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"Oh," is what Tobi says, when Vernon finally tells him all about it.
"Oh?"
"Sorry, I'm still trying to, like, get it," Tobi frowns, "You're saying Boo wants to get married and you don't?"
"No," Vernon whines, "It's not that I don't."
"So, you do? Then what's the problem here?"
"That's not it either."
"I gotta be honest. You're not exactly making sense," Kero leans back on the couch, shooting Vernon an apologetic look.
Vernon goes to New York and thinks about marriage while reading a Central Park brochure.
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"So you broke up with me?"Seungkwan's eyes shot up to him, wide and stunned. "You remember?"
"No," He says. It was just a guess. But to know that he's right, to know that it really did happen like that—makes it so much harder to breathe. "I just guessed."
Seungkwan looks away, lips pressed together.
"What made you guess that?"
"Because I never would've broken up with you."
Hansol wakes up after a car accident, still thinking that it's late 2015—that he's still with Seungkwan, and that they're just about to begin their relationship. Seungkwan, 24, heart broken twice over, doesn't know what to do with it. -
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"Isn't it funny," Hansol starts saying, itching to fill the void born from a lack of conversation with Seungkwan, "that we've always wanted to go on a road trip but never really got to until now?"Seungkwan hums, before replying, "This is certainly unexpected."
What's it like driving up the east coast with your ex-boyfriend, whom you are still very much in love with?
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"I can't believe he managed to ease you into adopting a cat. You're such a huge dog person.""We have Bookkeu," Seungkwan hums, then adds, "And well, cats are cute."
"Of course you'll think that. Your boyfriend is one."
Vernon, Seungkwan, and what it means to be committed.
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He smells of tangerines and distant flowers and he imagines, for a second, telling Seungkwan, Let’s get married. Let’s live here someday and spend the rest of our lives together. And we’ll adopt all the cats and dogs and children you want. And I’ll let you live your life, as long as I get to live my life with you in it.Vernon meets Seungkwan's family in Jeju, take two.
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“You don’t know him anymore,” Jeonghan says over the call. “Are you sure you’re just not making him into an ideal?”
“I don’t think of him as an ideal, per se,” Seungkwan answers. “I don’t know. I just send emails when I feel like sending one, it’s not like I’m sending them every day.”
“Are you sending one right now!?”
“No!” Seungkwan flushes, “I sent one yesterday.”Seungkwan writes some emails.
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I'm a fool who only receives, Hansol wrote in All My Love. In Korean, the title was Barely.
My heart won't change, it's only for you, Seungkwan wrote in Barely. In English, the title was All My Love.
What are you scared of?
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“I’m thinking,” Hansol smiles, “That I’m sharing food with you. It’s all I can do, and it is everything.”
There’s a familiar twitch at the corner of Seungkwan’s lips.
“Don’t think you can trick me by quoting Andre Dubus.”
Seungkwan’s fingernails are dainty, pretty little things.
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One time, while they were in one of the outpost ruins, they followed a shooting star all the way to the edge of the world. It was not an easy thing to do. They did it, though, and at the edge by the rocks, the star was just a pillar of light, then it was a door, then Seungkwan was pushing through it.What would you do, Seungkwan? Push the door open. Enter it.
It's how they left Hyrule and entered Teyvat.
A hundred years is a very, very long time.
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Usually, the stories end like this: Seungkwan loves Hansol, Hansol loves Seungkwan, and there's nothing left to be said. The End.
But there's a lot of nuances that come with loving Hansol.
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Seungkwan equates love with having someone's photo in your wallet, carrying it with you at all times. Vernon's wallet doesn't even have a photo pocket.
Or:
Seungkwan and Vernon, in love but not together, for a little over a decade.
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When Seungkwan called him in the Vlive and said I like you, Vernon laughed and said I like you, too, because it's Seungkwan, and he really, really likes Seungkwan.
As a friend.
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A year after Hansol left, and after months of struggling through their long distance relationship, Seungkwan decided to literally erase him from his memory after sending him a short break-up text.
He just underestimated how much Hansol affected his life.
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After Seungkwan's meltdown on Instagram, Vernon gives him the attention he wanted (and deserved).
(Seungkwan has to survive a Vlive first, though.)