14 Works by third_crow
Listing Works
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“I haven’t really been to a wedding where I’ve, uh… let loose. But, hey,” Dennis shrugged, “maybe I’m doing it wrong.”
“If I hadn’t already agreed to go to this conference, I’d offer to go with you,” Robby said casually. “Show you how it’s done. I’ve got a good track record as a plus-one, too.” Dennis had to say something. To interrupt. To shut this down. But what was he supposed to say? No, you can’t be my plus one, because I lied about my cousin, and there is no wedding, and it seems a little weird to bring a date to a fucking funeral– “Apparently parents love it when you bring home a doctor.”
And just like that, the bubble popped.
“I’m not gay,” Dennis snapped.
He had never hated the sound of his own voice as much as he did right then.
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Or, Dennis is anxiously headed home for a "wedding" in Broken Bow, Nebraska, the details of which are increasingly fuzzy. Robby's got a medical conference in Omaha that same weekend. So they carpool. Seventeen hours both ways in an enclosed space with no way out except a tuck and roll. This'll go great. -
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Sirius studied Remus’ face. He was curious what he thought of all of this, the only one of them who didn’t have a mark– theoretically– and the only one with a muggle parent. Muggles didn’t get marks, he knew. If Remus’ parents were soulmates, then they wouldn’t know it. He wondered if there was a way to tell, though. If they could just feel it, somehow, even without the help of some magical fate.
Because it seemed like something you would just know, just from being near someone, from being close enough to them, from being in the same space. Like their souls would attract like magnets or like water droplets traveling down a window, waiting to merge until the last moment when they realized they were on the same path, and then they’d become one.
Was that fate, Sirius wondered?
He realized Remus was staring back at him, his eyes puzzled and curious and warm.
Sirius looked away first and didn’t look back, pushing down something heavy and impossible in his chest.
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Or, the marauders soulmates au where your soulmate shares your scars in gold, and everyone is oblivious, pining, and/or in denial. Updates every sunday :)
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Find Me, Somebody by third_crow
Fandoms: Thunderbolts (Movie 2025), Marvel Cinematic Universe
28 Dec 2025
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“Look, I’m… I’m not really in the business of exploding little innocent laboratory experiment guinea pigs,” she said, patting Bob on the shoulder. The rodent in her hand squeaked indignantly. “So why don’t you leave here with me, and maybe we find you some clothes, and, like, a clif bar or something, because you still look sort of woozy. And then you can think about killing yourself in a way where I’m not the one pressing a button. Okay?”
She smiled at him in an attempt at comfort, straightening her posture to give herself some authority, or at least an air of confidence. He looked at her, and then the bomb, and then the guinea pig, and then behind him to the shadows on the wall. And then back to her.
“Okay,” he echoed, and she was pretty sure he had a bit less doom-and-gloom nothing-matters dejection in his expression now, so maybe she said something kind of right. Maybe.
“Great. How do you feel about wearing dead people shoes? The options here are slim.”
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Or, Yelena gets sent to destroy O.X.E. Group evidence in a lab in Malaysia and finds... Bob. Bob, who was for sure a human experiment. Bob, who was definitely supposed to be dead. Bob, who absolutely knows more than he's letting on.
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I'll Get You Home by third_crow
Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
17 Dec 2025
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“I had scoliosis,” Peter whispered, not looking away from where they’d heard the metal snap. He had gone pale. Bucky was sure he was a few shades lighter, himself. “That’s… that’s what I was gonna say before."
“Yeah?” Bucky asked. He loosened his grip on Peter’s shoulder, but didn’t take his hand away.
“My back still hurts sometimes,” Peter explained quietly. “But that might be because of the swinging. Hard to find a strong enough chiropractor to crack it, you know? Maybe… maybe two thousand tons of concrete would do it, though.” Bucky leveled his gaze at the kid. Peter looked back at him, swallowing hard.
“Let’s call that Plan B, okay?” Bucky suggested.
“Yeah, okay,” Peter mumbled.
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Or, Peter gets caught in the collapse of a parking garage with a (mildly) concussed Bucky Barnes, and has a nice get-to-know-you sesh with our favorite super soldier while waiting for Tony to find a safe way get them out. Super chill, right? Everything's fine. Oh- and he's been impaled by two rods of rebar and can't move without risking bleeding out. That... complicates things.
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“Are you happy with yourself?” Nat asked. “You’ve made him into a circus attraction.”
“Kinda,” Rooster laughed, crossing his arms. “It's his fault for falling asleep out here. Hey, who's got a sharpie?”
“Okay–” Nat huffed, setting her hands on her hips.
“I'm kidding, I'm kidding!”
“Floyd!” she said, her voice loud and assertive, and Bob jerked awake immediately, knocking his book off of his lap.
“Huh?” he breathed, lifting his head off of the back of the armchair. Fanboy snatched Bob's wallet back from Harvard, tucking it under his leg hastily. Halo took a step back from where she was leaned over peering at his book, but she knocked her shin into the coffee table and swore. Rooster clasped his hands behind his back and tucked the twenties into his pocket, making his best attempt at a poker face, but he knew he was failing miserably. And Hangman, thank fuck, finally muted his stupid phone and looked up in earnest.
“That woke him up,” Payback said under his breath
“That'd wake any of us up,” Fanboy replied, nervously glancing at Nat. “Was she a drill sergeant in a past life?”
***
Or, five times the daggers wake Bob up, and one time they can't get him to sleep.
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“Wh– well– why–” James stammered, attempting to get his bearings, because if he didn’t, and he let Regulus tell him ‘kiss me’ one more time, his heart would probably give out. “Why don’t you get Sirius to help?”
Regulus narrowed his eyes. “Because Sirius would just knock his teeth out,” he said as though it were obvious.
“Yes,” James hissed, “and he’ll knock my teeth out if I kiss his little brother.”
“You can take a hit, Potter, I’ve seen you on the quidditch pitch,” Regulus waved him off, and James groaned, leaning away from him.
“Oh, yeah, great, so I’m the sacrifice,” he sighed.
“Precisely,” Regulus stepped right into his space, and James felt his chest go a little hot.
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Or, Regulus asks James for a favor to get his ex off of his back, and James makes bad choices.
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“Sirius,” Remus said.
That was the only warning.
He said it softly, like a statement, almost casually– so casually that Sirius turned expecting him to ask something about what they were having for dinner, or telling him he wanted honey in his tea, or complain about how off brand sports-drink didn’t taste as good as Gatorade.
Instead, Remus’ knees were already buckling. His arm was sliding off of the granite corner of the countertop, and his shoulder was colliding with the barstool to his right, and his body was thudding against the hardwood, and the only warning Sirius got was his name. That was it.
He was moving before he even realized what was happening.
Series
- Part 2 of the coffee shop au
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"That's why I was here. I was going to stand right here, and I was going to try to convince myself to do it, or not to do it, and– and that night, the whole walk up those stairs, I couldn't– I couldn’t think of a single thing. I couldn’t find a reason not to. It was like my mind was empty, and I was thinking that– that if I got up here and my head was still empty, then I'd do it. That's why I came up here. And then you–” James took a long, shuddering breath. “You were in my spot.” He couldn’t help but laugh. It was a terrible sound.
“That’s why you said that,” Regulus breathed, and it was like it was punched out of him. “You… you were… I thought that was a joke.” His voice was thready. James still didn’t have the heart to look up at him. He felt like he wasn’t really there.
“Everyone did,” he shook his head. “It was always a joke.”
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or, Regulus learns he and James have more in common than he thought
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Like Real People Do by third_crow for barelyevenhere
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
24 Jan 2023
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“Could I get a name for the order?” Marlene asked.
“Serious,” the man replied. “Like the star,” he clarified, and Remus mentally scratched out 'Serious' and rewrote 'Sirius' in his head.
“The… star?” Marlene asked, her pen hovering over the cup as she hesitated.
“S-I-R-I-U-S,” Remus said. He stocked croissants into the display case, not looking up. “The Dog Star,” he added, “brightest star in the sky, actually. Visible from both hemispheres.” When he looked over, the man– Sirius– seemed surprised, his eyebrows raised as Remus spoke, and when Remus finished, he blinked a few times before smiling lopsidedly.
“Er– yeah,” he breathed a laugh. “That.” There was a baby on his hip. Somehow, it had taken Remus a second glance to notice that.
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Or, Remus works as a barista and Sirius comes in every morning with the world's cutest baby, and man, these two just wrote the book on mutual pining, huh?
Series
- Part 1 of the coffee shop au
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It's Called: Freefall by third_crow for rinredacted
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, Dream SMP
19 Aug 2022
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“Look, Tommy, I know this is a lot–”
“I don’t need the pity party,” Tommy interrupted. “Aw, it must be so hard, aw, how sad, it’s… fuckin’… it’s fine. Yeah? So just– how long do I have to stay here?” Phil took a breath, straightening his back.
“At least until we can contact your mom,” he said. “That’s step one.”
“There’s more steps?” Tommy asked incredulously.
“Well, it’s a complicated situation. The fact that they’re already struggling to make contact is… well, it’s a red flag. You lived with your brother, but your mother never transferred sole custody, and considering the situation that left you in, there's some question as to whether or not she may be involved in your brother’s… business.”
“Drugs,” Tommy said.
“Yes. Drugs.”
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Or, Phil is a foster parent who takes in emergency cases, and Tommy… well, Tommy sure is an emergency.
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“It’s just a boy,” Phil said quietly. Techno looked the child over again. Now that it was quiet, it seemed so gentle. Peaceful. “The storm is coming in fast. He’ll die out here if we leave him.”
“It’s a risk,” Techno muttered, fixing his grip on the axe.
“I thought the same about you,” Phil said, looking back at Techno. They locked eyes. Techno looked away first.
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Or, piglin-hybrid Techno and phantom-hybrid Phil find a kid lost in the woods (who may or may not be hearing voices) and take him home for safe keeping.
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he's a little concussed, but he's got the spirit by third_crow
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, Dream SMP
04 Aug 2021
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“You good now?” Techno asked, rubbing circles into Ranboo’s back.
“Wednesday,” Ranboo said with confidence. He held back another gag, closing his eyes as his stomach clenched again. When it passed, he blinked dazedly and seemed to process what had happened. “That’s not good, right? Throwing up?” Ranboo looked up at Techno, his eyes tired.
“It’s… not ideal,” Techno said.
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Ranboo gets a concussion in the nether; now Techno just needs to get him home without giving him a second one.
Series
- Part 2 of this fandom needs more sickfics
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To Keep You Safe by third_crow for Galacticbunny
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, Dream SMP
30 Jul 2021
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“There have been great kings younger than me, Wilbur!” Tommy insisted.
“Yes, and there have been dead kings younger than you as well!” Wilbur shot back, his voice suddenly far more frustrated than Tommy had heard it in a while. “You’ll stay here because Phil needs his son,” Wilbur said. Tommy closed his mouth. “And I need my brother. Here. Safe.”
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Or, 5 times Tommy’s family protected him from the world, and one time he returned the favor.
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Death and Charcoal by third_crow
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Dream SMP, Video Blogging RPF
12 Jul 2021
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In the dim lantern light, Phil could see the contents of the bucket now. It was purple and nearly iridescent. Phil’s stomach dropped. “Ranboo?” He said, ducking his head down to get a look at the kid’s face. The same purple liquid dripped from his mouth. Tears burned streaks down his cheeks. “Ranboo, is this blood?”
He almost didn’t want to know the answer. He knew Ranboo was half enderman, and that his blood wasn’t red like human’s blood. After doomsday when he’d found Ranboo in the rubble, the kid had a few cuts and scrapes, nothing major, but he had noted that his blood was a dark purple color. He hadn’t dwelled on it much. Now, it mattered.
“Ranboo,” Phil said, more firmly now. “Is this blood? Are you throwing up blood?”
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Or, ranboo makes bad choices because this fandom needs more sickfics
Series
- Part 1 of this fandom needs more sickfics