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patience is the hallmark of the old and infirm by Calycanth, littlefingies
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
20 Feb 2026
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Summary
Set in a nebulous time a decade or two pre-canon. Mary fools around with Anne and Eddie. And maybe with Jack, if he can keep his fucking mouth shut and follow orders.
Featuring art by Caly that will knock your socks off.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,407
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 21
- Kudos:
- 36
- Bookmarks:
- 4
- Hits:
- 1,002
Bookmarked by Mostly Harmless (toadlily)
25 Jun 2026
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Summary
Stede and Ed's relationship ended months ago, but Stede hasn't been able to let it go. He's amazed when Ed agrees to participate in The Ex-House with him, sharing a tiny house on live television for six weeks to win the grand prize.
“Hello, Edward!” he says, forcing brightness. Remembers to look at his face - two seconds at a time is perfectly acceptable, look at the face, not directly into the eyes - tries to remember to turn his lips up into a friendly smile. Behind Ed, the door whooshes closed again and leaves them in silence.
Ed’s fully clad in leather, which is always a good look for him. Slight hint of eyeliner. One arm bare, showing off the winding snake tattooed into his skin. Beard trimmed short. Hair up, as well, properly styled. Small silver dagger earring dangling from one ear.
He looks unapproachably hot. The kind of guy that would skim over Stede without a second glance. The kind of guy that would sniff out Stede’s oddness in a second and push Stede down as a way to lift himself up. There are probably people watching on their televisions right now, wondering how the hell the two people in this room were ever together in the first place.
Series
- Part 1 of The Ex-House
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 65,131
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,300
- Kudos:
- 523
- Bookmarks:
- 127
- Hits:
- 8,713
Bookmarked by Mostly Harmless (toadlily)
30 May 2026
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Summary
Finally, at 42, pop star Edward Teach is about to get his fairytale ending. He’s got the perfect guy—handsome, kind, patient, and most importantly: crazy about Ed. When his boyfriend proposes, it should be an easy yes, yes, a million times yes! There’s just one problem. Ed’s kinda sorta already married, and he hasn’t spoken to the guy in seventeen years.
Series
- Part 1 of Right Where You Left Me
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 252,835
- Chapters:
- 39/39
- Comments:
- 1,874
- Kudos:
- 383
- Bookmarks:
- 122
- Hits:
- 18,093
Bookmarked by Mostly Harmless (toadlily)
29 May 2026
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Summary
Ed had an idea. It was a little weird, and probably not the best idea for a very well-regarded artist who was at the whim of shareholders and a board, but. If he was going out, he might as well go out with a bang.
He straightened up the stack of flyers, grabbed one of his staple guns out of his workshop drawer, and set out down the street. He started in the immediate radius of the Walmart, tacking flyers up to light posts and bulletin boards.
COME WATCH ME EAT AN ENTIRE ROTISSERIE CHICKEN
3rd NOVEMBER WILL BE THE 40TH CONSECUTIVE
DAY THAT I HAVE EATEN AN ENTIRE ROTISSERIE CHICKEN12 0’CLOCK NOON
THE CHICKEN WILL BE CONSUMED ON THAT ABANDONED PIER BY WALMART
THIS IS NOT A PARTY--
(This is absolutely not as absurd as it sounds, but it's still pretty absurd.)
Bookmarked by Mostly Harmless (toadlily)
09 May 2026
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Summary
SecUnit finds itself in charge of one of Dr. Mensah's children, and on the run. Luckily, it's good at its job. Unluckily, it has to hang out with a human adolescent. (It can handle the people trying to kill it. It's the babysitting thing that's terrifying.)
Bookmarked by Mostly Harmless (toadlily)
08 May 2026
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something in the water by xianvar for DevilWithABirdDress
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
17 Apr 2026
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Summary
“I can always play poker,” Hollander says, far slower than he’d recited the stats. “What are you playing?”
“Durak,” Ilya says when the others just look expectantly at him.
After a beat, Hollander seems to muster up his courage. “Can I join?”
Or: Five times people learn the still waters of one Shane Hollander hide a veritable card shark, and one time Ilya gets to see a different side.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,946
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 431
- Kudos:
- 2,058
- Bookmarks:
- 407
- Hits:
- 17,608
Bookmarked by Mostly Harmless (toadlily)
21 Apr 2026
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Summary
It’s 1972. The Cold War is on, velvet suits are in, and glam rock is about to launch into the stratosphere. So is geologist Stede Bonnet – the first scientist accepted into NASA’s Apollo training program. When veteran astronaut Ed Teach gets bumped off of the crew for Apollo 17, can Stede possibly fill his shoes?
Also available as a podfic!
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Deus Ex by innocentsmith
Fandoms: Jeeves - Wodehouse, Jeeves & Wooster, Lord of the Flies - Golding, Greek and Roman Mythology, As You Like It - Shakespeare
10 Jan 2010
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Summary
What does Jeeves do on his annual week's holiday? Meta-ish crack crossover between the Wodehouseverse and, among other things, classical mythology.
Bookmarked by Mostly Harmless (toadlily)
06 Apr 2026
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Summary
When his mother comes to him in the summer after he wins his second Cup with a new partnership proposal from the fucking Sesame Workshop, Shane can't say yes fast enough
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Summary
Ed and Stede broke something they'd barely had. When Alma asks for their help to drive her cranky chihuahua halfway across the country, they both agree to see each other again. But figuring out what went wrong will require untangling the strands of the past.
Collaboration with art from Sailor’s Ruin.
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Summary
A modern alternate universe series that explores the question: “What if they met after coming home to themselves a bit first?”
- Words:
- 208,040
- Works:
- 7
- Bookmarks:
- 159
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Podfuckery 2024 by 1happydaiz, adhduck, Baby_kraken, bizarrelittlemew, caribbeancrocs, cheesecake3, cheesecake3pods (cheesecake3), ClaireGregory, cochineal, darcylindbergh, Deanbird, depressionrobe, elky, emi_rose, fullofhope137, Gemagination, ghostalservice, happydaiz_pod (1happydaiz), Judysoranges, Kninjaknitter, littlefingies, LoopyDangerFrog, LyndziM, nomadsland, offsammich, Permanent_Ink, petrichorca, PilotPiratePods, SD_Ryan, shipmates, smallestchurch, Tipsy_Kitty, tragicallynerdy, veeagainst, with (cheesecake3), with (Tipsy_Kitty), xoxoemynn, YellowMustard, yerbamansa, Yourgentlemanpirate
Fandom Our Flag Means Death (TV)
01 Jan 2025
Summary
It's a PODFUCKERY!
a group of authors have all taken the same beginning and end of a story and filled in their own delicious middles.... and they don't know who's going to be narrating them!
A group of podficcers have each been given a story to narrate.... and they don't know who wrote them!
Join us through the month of December as we take a journey through nearly 40 different creators!
Hosted by 1happydaiz, BabyKraken, and ghostalservice!
- Words:
- 31,394
- Works:
- 21
- Bookmarks:
- 12
Bookmarked by Mostly Harmless (toadlily)
29 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Podfuckery 2024
by 1happydaiz, adhduck, Baby_kraken, bizarrelittlemew, caribbeancrocs, cheesecake3, cheesecake3pods (cheesecake3), ClaireGregory, cochineal, darcylindbergh, Deanbird, depressionrobe, elky, emi_rose, fullofhope137, Gemagination, ghostalservice, happydaiz_pod (1happydaiz), Judysoranges, Kninjaknitter, littlefingies, LoopyDangerFrog, LyndziM, nomadsland, offsammich, Permanent_Ink, petrichorca, PilotPiratePods, SD_Ryan, shipmates, smallestchurch, Tipsy_Kitty, tragicallynerdy, veeagainst, with (cheesecake3), with (Tipsy_Kitty), xoxoemynn, YellowMustard, yerbamansa, Yourgentlemanpirate -
Summary
Astrophotographer Ed and UFO hunter Stede are boyfriends and they have a lot of weird and wonderful sex about it
- Words:
- 48,432
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 23
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Leda House and the Kraken 'Verse by Vee (Vera_DragonMuse), Vera_DragonMuse
Fandom Our Flag Means Death (TV)
16 Oct 2025
Summary
A modern AU that follows the entire staff of the drag bar named Revenge as well as their partners and the Bonnet children. Features drag shows, late in life coming out stories, romance in many forms, and as much found family as you could ask for.
- Words:
- 1,182,598
- Works:
- 41
- Bookmarks:
- 396
Bookmarked by Mostly Harmless (toadlily)
29 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Leda House and the Kraken 'Verse
by Vee (Vera_DragonMuse), Vera_DragonMuse -
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Summary
Edward Teach has been living as Blackbeard, a world famous DJ, for too long. He hides his face behind a mask and finds that he's losing himself further and further in the persona he's tired of dragging on. The only thing that's ever cheers him up are kitten videos, one especially, a man that goes by the Furry Gentleman.
When he sees their rescue is looking for fosters Ed sees a chance for him to step away from Blackbeard and see just who Ed is.
Series
- Part 9 of Twitfics/Skyfics
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Febuwhump 2023 by flightofwonder
Fandom Good Omens (TV), Our Flag Means Death (TV), Prospect (2018), The Last of Us (TV), The Last of Us (Video Games), The Mandalorian (TV), The Old Guard (Movie 2020), Venom (Comics), Venom (Marvel Movies)
01 Mar 2023
- Words:
- 16,380
- Works:
- 28
- Bookmarks:
- 7
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Summary
In the Spirit and in the Flesh: Sexual Stimulation During Sleep as a Pathway to Expanded Conscious Self-Actualisation
Edward Teach
Queen Anne UniversityObjective: To determine whether consistent application of sexual stimulation during sleep could prompt greater conscious self-actualisation in a self-identified sexually-repressed research subject.
Participants/methods: The experiments in this report were conducted by Postdoctoral Research Fellow Edward Teach, PhD, School of Behavioural Sciences, Queen Anne University, with a volunteer subject. The researcher spent a week applying escalating sexual stimuli to the subject during different sleep scenarios, monitoring responses and subsequent changes in conscious sexual self-understanding.
The findings of the study are detailed below.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,885
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 310
- Kudos:
- 299
- Bookmarks:
- 42
- Hits:
- 4,308
Bookmarked by Mostly Harmless (toadlily)
20 Jan 2026
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Why one small American town won’t stop stoning its residents to death by Charlotte_Stant for sophiahelix
Fandoms: The Lottery - Shirley Jackson, The New Yorker RPF
24 Dec 2025
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Summary
The picturesque village of Buell, Maine is one of the last in the United States to continue the tradition of the “harvest” or “prosperity” lottery. Its residents insist the lottery makes them stronger, even as condemnation from outsiders grows.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,082
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 704
- Kudos:
- 9,923
- Bookmarks:
- 1,649
- Hits:
- 78,099
Bookmarked by Mostly Harmless (toadlily)
13 Jan 2026
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Were-Ever You Go, There You Are by Butter_Ball, petrichorca, veeagainst
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
04 Dec 2025
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Summary
Ed wonders why his new neighbor Stede keeps walking his dog at 3am. He gets kind of Jimmy Stewart in Vertigo about it but, like, more romantic.
Created for were-animal day for OFMD AUgust 2025.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,319
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 327
- Kudos:
- 233
- Bookmarks:
- 34
- Hits:
- 3,044
Bookmarked by Mostly Harmless (toadlily)
06 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Were-Ever You Go, There You Are
by Butter_Ball, petrichorca, veeagainst -
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Summary
It’s the eve of a new millennium and potentially a tech-pocalypse, and Stede Bonnet is stuck at the office until midnight with only his Neopet for company. That is, until IT consultant Ed Teach starts checking in, and suddenly the new year is looking a lot more promising.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,602
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 134
- Kudos:
- 394
- Bookmarks:
- 60
- Hits:
- 2,402
Bookmarked by Mostly Harmless (toadlily)
01 Jan 2026